<p>Be sure to try and see it both ways. Many LGBT students are themselves uncomfortable with straight roommates. After all, especially with random room assignments, they have no idea how their roomies will perceive of their orientation. For instance, many of my gay friends were uncomfortable putting up things on their side of the room that later appeared when they had their own upperclassmen apartments (e.g. a poster of Zac Efron). </p>
<p>I would let the roommate broach the subject first, but your son letting him know that it’s A-OK (as it seems to be) would probably be a highly appreciated gesture at some point.</p>
<p>So much good advice, I’m glad I came here. To answer someone’s question if my son determined he is also gay, honestly I think it would shake me up at first, but then I’d be OK with it. Maybe worry about not having grandkids, but even that doesn’t seem to be a problem anymore. Thanks to all.</p>
<p>Dang. I missed the opportunity to chime in when it was still an issue. Had I got here in time I would have said my straight D also had a gay roomie with no problems at all but…since I didn’t …;)</p>
<p>My first roomie was straight. He drank all my cologne and hocked my stereo.</p>
<p>i hope all u parents would be just as tolerant and accepting of a fundie christian roommate who helped organize marches with the wesborogh baptist church. lol</p>
<p>I always wonder about the kids ■■■■■■■■ the Parent’s Cafe and tend to ignore them, but sstrugglingteen, FYI I would be very tolerant of a fundamentalist christian roommate, less so on hateful activities.</p>
<p>Admirable thread, by the way. Reflects well on the contributors and College Confidential.</p>
<p>Another aside: kids should know that nothing, absolutely nothing, on the internet is private. Don’t post anything, email anything, anywhere, including and especially Facebook, unless you’re willing to see it on a billboard. Privacy does not exist in this space. Nothing wrong with FB stalking, in that context.</p>
<p>I just wanted to post from (I suppose) a student’s perspective and say that even if you’re son chooses NOT to room with the gay room mate (I personally think he should- college is all about meeting new kinds of people) then I would find the nicest way possible to get out of it. </p>
<p>I don’t know exactly how to do that, but I have a homosexual friend that I am going to college with who ended up being assigned an extremely homophobic room mate who said some very rude and innapropriate things to him about him being a “■■■” over facebook. Needless to say, that really upset him. Going off to college for the first time is hard enough without someone being a jerk about who you are. There are better ways to handle that sort of situation.</p>
<p>ETA: Not that I think you’re son (or anyone on here’s son) would be terrible like that, but just tread lightly as it can be sensitive for the room mate as well, even if their facebook does “out” them.</p>
<p>A camp that I’ve been a counselor at for a while accepts gay youth and they’ve never had a problem come up related to that. I doubt colleges have many problems resulting from gay/straight roommate pairings either.</p>
<p>I’m late to this party, but I just want to reassure buttercup: My son’s college roommate was gay (they both graduated a couple of years ago). It was no problem at all–they were good friends then and they are good friends now. They shared the same ridiculous sense of humor, which turned out to be a whole lot more important to them than sexual preference.</p>
<p>i hope all u parents would be just as tolerant and accepting of a fundie christian roommate who helped organize marches with the wesborogh baptist church. lol</p>
<p>Would * this* apply in that case? But everyone has different values- and that is their right, just as long as it doesn’t infringe on the rights of others.</p>
<p>What about the right to bury your child who died in a USA military uniform, without being taunted by the likes of Phelps & his ilk?</p>
<p>I’m pleased that more students are comfortable finding compatible roommates when entering college, than when my oldest entered just a few years ago.</p>
<p>I had read Out & About Campus: Personal Accounts by Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender College Students and some of the stories would really make you cry.</p>
<p>straight people aren’t sexually interested in every single person of the opposite sex. Straight people aren’t sexually interested in homosexuals. Why would a gay person be sexually interested in every single person of the same sex, or be sexually interested in a straight person?</p>
<p>Also late, but one more reassurance to buttercup. I wouldn’t expect any problems at all to arise specifically from the roommate being gay, and I think it’s silly to assume otherwise. When we said goodbye to my big brother a couple years ago, having just dropped him off at college and met the two boys he was rooming with, my mom said “do you think they’re gay?”. Brother responded “yeah they are, I saw on facebook”. Didn’t phase him, all three boys got along great and all three are still great friends. And to reiterate what others have said-just because he’s gay doesn’t mean he’d be attracted to your son/make him feel uncomfortable by hitting on him or whatever. My brother lived in a triple with two gay roommates, and neither of them ever expressed an interest in my brother, or each other for that matter!</p>
<p>Well, this is a little simplistic. Nationalism, militarism, religious extremism, and attitudes to gays don’t break down in exactly the same left-right divide as in the US. For example, the IDF unlike the US military does not discriminate against gays.</p>
<p>I know this is controversial, but I don’t think gays and straights should room together. What if the gay roomie falls in love with the straight roomie? I have no experience with this, but I do believe love can happen just like that, against one’s wishes. It’s true-- it’s just like heterosexual men and women rooming together. However, with the gay/straight scenario, the desire will always be unrequited.</p>
<p>I wanted to add: If both parties, however, are fine with the awkwardness that can ensue, that’s up to them. I know straight guys and girls who roomed together just fine, and I’m sure there are many gay guys out there who roomed with straight guys just fine also.</p>
<p>If your son is ugly, even better. But to many girls and gay guys, even some “ugly” guys can be charming.</p>
<p>Here’s the difference: The gay person is not likely to try to shove his beliefs down his roomie’s throat. The fundie is.</p>
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<p>I do have quite alot of experience with gay people, and it just doesn’t work that way. Gays do not try to “convert” or “recruit” straights. Gays know how they are viewed by much of society, and they can’t be nearly as overt about signalling attraction as straights can be. They develop subtle signals to find each other and indicate interest. Once they figure out someone is straight, that’s usually the end of that. Most gays, like most straights, aren’t going to pursue someone they know has no possible interest in them.</p>
The gay roommate will just have to deal with it like plenty of straight guys do when they get rejected by girls. I’m gay and I had a straight roommate last year and will again this year… I didn’t make sexual advances on him if that makes you feel better, buttercup!</p>
<p>true-- it’s just like heterosexual men and women rooming together. However, with the gay/straight scenario, the desire will always be unrequited.</p>
<p>hm Haven’t you heard of GUG? ( Gay until graduation)</p>