<p>So to begin with i was always lazy and its my everyday problem that im trying to battle. I got accepted to the college i didnt think i would get it because my grades were low after highschool, but when i did get in i was exited and just left everything else (like class registration) until the last minute. I was almost last one to sign up for clases and therefore didint have much choice and had to be in International Studies major which is completely opposite of what i wanted to study (business) but i still wanted to try. I lacked interest and almost did nothing during my first semester. i failed all my classes but during the semester i kept talking to advisors, teachers and dean's about my struggle with grades. Ive managed to change my major for the next semester and ive asked a lot of people (advisor, dean, teachers..) if i will still get kicked out of college because my grades are so low and all of them said no. They said i will be on probation and i have to meet a certain point the next semester to stay in. I told them that the whole problem of me failing is me having completely no interest in what i was studiying and therefore had no motivation to ever do hw or go to class. When i left college for the winter break i was 100% sure that i will come back to college and i was motivated to finish it with a good grade because i will be in business major where i wont lack interest and will actually do my work. But i recieved letter saying im dissmissed out of nowhere. I right away wrote a letter of appeal explaining everything that happen and the reason of my failure but they declined it. Now i dont know what to do. my parents still dont know and im scared of telling them because i know they will never pay for anything ever again ( ive fucked up too much) and prob kick me out of house. I want to call the dean tommorow (the one that made decisioun about my appeal) and talk to him maybe he will have some humanity for me and change his answer. If not i only have 1 another way, is to try convience my parents to change my schoool for pilot school ( i have some experience) but what if they say no? what if they want me to finish college and get a degree and they dont even know i got kicked out? im really scared my life is besicly on a line. They either give me second chance or im out to the streets bagging people for change.... i dont know what to do.. </p>
<p>Maybe, just maybe, were your parents and the university to adopt a “hard line” – and to stick with it – it might be the biggest blessing you’ve every received. Your initial post repeatedly indicates that you’ve been lazy, that you have not been reasonably conscientious (either in high school or in college), and that you’re prone to make all sorts of self-serving excuses (e.g., didn’t register on time (whose fault was that?), didn’t study hard in classes your were assigned, due to disinterest (whose fault was that?), and so froth). It is my opinion that you desperately require a significant “real world” lesson that – both for better and for worse – decisions and resulting actions (or inactions) have (sometimes major) consequences . . . and poor judgement(s) will near-invariably land you in a severe mess. Perhaps a year of two of dealing with the adverse ramifications of your foolish, indolent, and indulgent decisions will teach you some long-overdue and VITAL lessons and also make you appreciate future opportunities.</p>
<p>Were I you, I’d now consider enlisting in one of the uniformed services (if they’ll have you, which is not at all guaranteed). They are multi-generational proven experts at rapidly correcting laziness, self-indulgence, self-pity, poor and myopic decision making, ingratitude, and foolishness/stupidity.</p>
<p>TopTier has a good point, maybe you would do better in a more structured environment like the military. Perhaps you can even work in your interest in aviation. How would you feel about joining the Air Force or Navy?</p>
<p>Joining the armed forces with an emphasis on pilot training could be just the ticket for you. But I am also thinking you may have depression. So many times kids are lambasted for being lazy or unmotivated when it could be a medical issue like ADHD also. Get checked out by your doctor and if it’s the case, you can appeal your dismissal again.</p>
<p>I second both options - get checked out by a mental health professional and look into doing a hitch in the service. If you’re reasonably smart, and I’m guessing you are, you’ll have your choice of top career assignments as well as plenty of “guidance” from your friendly and ever helpful drill sergeant. You’ll come out with the discipline you need to succeed in college, a wad of cash from the GI Bill, and the respect of your parents that you took charge of your life and did what you had to do.</p>
<p>If I were this student, I wouldn’t join the military. The military shouldn’t be a dumping ground for every kid who doesn’t know what s/he wants, those who can’t afford traditional college, or those who can but aren’t yet mature enough to be successful there.</p>
<p>OP, I see two different possibilities here. Perhaps you’re suffering from a lack of maturity and simply need to work for a while then return to school when you’re mature enough to handle it. If that’s the case, I agree with Top Tier that you need to start having to deal with the consequences of our actions. I’d start off by approaching your parents with a plan. Tell them exactly what happened, get a job, and begin to pay back whatever money they paid for your college. Save money so you can take classes when you’re ready. I’d suggest taking a course or two at a time at your local community college then transferring to a 4-year school.</p>
<p>A second thought that occurs to me as I read your post is the possibility of a learning disability. Have you ever been tested for one? Laziness that’s an “everyday problem” that you’re “trying to battle”, a history of low grades, avoidance of work, disorganization/doing things at the last minute, lack of interest/motivation in something you “wanted to try”, and struggling with school work are all signs I’ve seen in family members who are dyslexic.Google the “Common Characteristics of Dyslexia” by the International Dyslexia Association to see if you recognize any of the symptoms. If you find that 10 or more of the traits describe you, look into seeing a neurological psychologist for an evaluation. If you truly have a learning issue you can get accommodations at school. If it’s “merely” an attitude and maturity issue, time and effort will fix that. If it’s something else, they won’t.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>@mojo1020: Your idea generally won’t work. All Navy, Marine Corps, Coast Guard, and Air Force progams require aviators to be commissioned officers, which fundamentally means college graduates. However, the Army has Warrent Offier pilots for their rotary wing and fixed wing aircraft; a Bachelor’s degree is not required for that program. However, a GREAT deal of self-discipline, difficult academics and military professionalism is mandatory to success in ANY of these programs. </p>
<p>Yeah – people should stop mentioning the possibility of becoming a military pilot. That’s not in the current horizon for the OP.</p>
<p>addky: You should repost in the parents forum. Perhaps ppl there can guide your next steps. Good luck on turning things around and learning the lessons you need to. Yes, you’re going to badly hurt your parents. You need to own up to that.</p>
<p>@austinmshauri (in #5): No one suggested that the military should be – or, even more important, can be – a “dumping ground.” From 20+ years personal experience as a senior naval officer, I know just the opposite is true – every success an individual achieves in the military is earned AND those who do not meet the services’ generally high performance, behavioral, leadership and self-disciplinary standards normally are “history.” I respectfully suggest that few who have much military experience would ever countenance the use of the term “dumping ground.” On the other hand, the services have lengthy records of providing individuals opportunities to succeed, sometime even if they have originally failed.</p>
<p>@TopTier: I know no one here said that. My brother was career Air Force and he’s always expressed pretty much what you said in post #8. I have seen posts in other threads where it seemed to me that posters were treating a military career as a backup in case nothing else works out. I don’t think that’s a good idea, and your posts nicely expresses some of the reasons why. </p>
<p>@TopTier thank you for the clarification. The key issue is the benefit of structure for OP. The discipline and self confidence developed through military training sure beats the heck out of a gap year flipping burgers. And, although officer training is not in the cards at this moment, college, a career you enjoy, and success are around the corner, if you are willing to commit yourself to success.</p>