I Had a College List, and Now It Changed...Drastically

College Search & Selection
1

<p>I just had a chit-chat with my mom about my college choices, and she pretty much vetoed half my list. When I expressed my intention to go to UChicago (I live four hours from Chicago), my mom went into this whole frickafrack about how hard that will be to make visits and to move in, etc. Neither of my parents attended a four-year university, so they're both unfamiliar with the process, and therefore, they base everything on what they hear from other people they know. </p>

<p>My cousin went to Loyola Chicago, and my aunt always talked about how hard it was to get her home to visit, because of transportation issues. So my mom said, "I don't think you should go to Chicago, because your aunt is much wealthier than us, and they can get away whenever they want. We're not made of money, and we can't take off work, either. When you have to travel back and forth between here and Chicago, you're losing not hundreds, but thousands of dollars. Train tickets, gas money, other travel expenses, those all add up really quickly." My cousin also lived off-campus, so "Housing is REALLY expensive in Chicago, and they had a hard time finding good and affordable housing in the area."</p>

<p>The whole college thing has really been an uphill battle. Just a year ago, my parents thought I could attend the local community college, and live at home.</p>

<p>My stats are as follows:
SAT: CR 720, M 680, W 710
ACT: Comp 32
SAT II: Lit 600, Spanish 640, Math 2 730
GPA: 4.0 UW, no weighting
Class rank: 1 of 51</p>

<p>A quick look there will tell anyone that I'm not community college material. I don't need two more years of high school. I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things.</p>

<p>But my parents are now saying that I need to keep my college list to a maximum of four hours away. I live in northwestern Ohio. My list had been this: Princeton, Amherst, Brown, Chicago, WashU, Case Western, Bucknell, Lafayette, Franklin & Marshall, Knox College, Ohio Wesleyan, and Ohio State.</p>

<p>This new requirement would eliminate nearly all those, except for Chicago, Case Western, Ohio Wesleyan, and Ohio State.</p>

<p>So I'd like to find some schools to replace the ones I'm losing. I realize I'm going to have to sacrifice some academic quality, but I guess I'm willing at this point.</p>

<p>I was considering Oberlin, Hiram, and Denison. Can anyone evaluate these as good choices, or suggest others? I have my majors narrowed down to Economics, Computer Science, and Math. I may have some sort of combination of those. I would also like to study abroad for a semester. I prefer the whole liberal arts scene to a big lecture hall, but I'm relatively open. I have not visited any colleges, partly due to the reasons above.</p>

<p>I greatly appreciate any advice. Thank you.</p>

2

<p>I'm in the same pile of dung you're in, except for the fact that my parents put the limitation on not only a state school, but only ONE state school, which is thirty minutes away. Here's the truth: parents know they can't keep their kids little forever, and there's a time when kids must learn to live on their own, and with stats like yours, it shouldn't be too hard to get plenty of financial aid, scholarships, and more merit awards. Tell your parents that if you were to attend a community college, it'll pretty much cross out all of your hard-worked scores, because transferring to a 4-yr college from a comm. college doesn't have much to do with your high school record (as far as I know). So, pick the colleges you like, and go for it. It's not right that you are kept from your goals all because mom and dad want you to stay with them until you're forty and balding. Trust me, I know what it's like, and it sucks anything that shouldn't be sucked.... Reach for the stars, bud. ;)</p>

3

<p>It's too bad that your parents aren't able to let go of the reigns a bit more, but you can make something out of the options you do have. I agree that you definitely aren't community college material - and you should try to avoid fallback schools like Kent or Youngstown State at all costs. Now, I live in Ohio as well, so I'm fairly familiar with the nearby colleges. Obviously, none of them are on par with U Chicago or Princeton, but it's possible to find some decent schools.</p>

<p>Have you looked into Kenyon? It's a small LAC similar to Oberlin, and one of the better schools Ohio has to offer. You should check out Miami of Ohio as well - one of the best public schools in Ohio.</p>

<p>Case Western is a great school but I hear things about the kids there being weird and socially awkward - I don't know if that bothers you, but it's a consideration.</p>

<p>You live in western Ohio, so Pennsylvania might be a little far away for your parents' liking, but you should look into U of Pittsburgh, which is a strong public school in western PA. I'm more towards Eastern Ohio, so I'm not sure how long the ride is for you, though.</p>

<p>Also, assuming Indiana is an option, you should consider Purdue as well - but that's probably not the LAC scene you're looking for.</p>

<p>As for your list, Oberlin is a great liberal arts school - probably the best college in OH, in my opinion. I'm not so familiar with Hiram, but I've heard good things about Denison. Ohio State is a good school, but it's about as far from a LAC as you can get. The school is huge and most students will be sports-crazy for the Buckeyes, as I'm sure you know.</p>

<p>I hope I was of some help - I'm not sure about what the strengths are of some of these colleges, that's for you to look into, but I'm sure you can find somewhere with a good program close to home. Again, it's unfortunate that your spectrum of colleges is limited by location, but that's no reason to abandon your college search. The midwest has a lot to offer, you just have to look for it.</p>

4

<p>Well, the good news is that you and your mother are having this discussion now, rather than after you get into the distant school of your dreams. Since her strongest objections are based on finances, it will be very important for you to apply to schools that are generous with financial aid, and enough schools that you can compare packages when you are accepted. I believe there is a sticky on one of the forums about schools that give good merit aid. Your GPA/rank may help you there. I do not know much about the schools you are considering, but it sounds like there a fair number of good schools within 4 hours drive, luckily. Good luck; rather than getting angry at your mom you are trying to understand her viewpoint and work with her, so kudos to you for that.</p>

5

<p>I had Miami on my list, then I took it off, due to its pretentiousness over nothing. But I might put it back on, just because it's super easy for in-state students to get full rides there.</p>

<p>As for Case, I'm weird and socially awkward too, so that wouldn't be a problem. I like the intellectual vibe offered by Chicago, and I think Case is the best Ohio substitute for that.</p>

<p>Oberlin is going on my list. I can't wait to tell my friends that I'm applying to a college notorious for pot-smoking, since they all go to Christian colleges. But Oberlin has really good academic clout, and I want to take advantage of the distance. It's only two and a half hours away, and I can take my car. But the disadvantage is that Oberlin's financial aid is not up on par with my other former schools, and I don't know if the financial burden will be too great. For some reason, my parents are more concerned about the travel costs than the actual cost of the college.</p>

<p>I know OSU sticks out on my list like a sore thumb, but I have to keep it there for financial reasons, and my parents suggested the same thing. No, I may not be as happy there as I would be at Amherst (my former top choice), but it does have a good alumni network, and it has name recognition. But I'm not going for OOS publics. I'm dissatisfied enough with my own instate public, and it's cheap.</p>

<p>I considered Kenyon, but ultimately decided I wanted to get out of the cornfields. Kenyon is in the middle of nowhere, just like the area where I live now. I like UChicago, Princeton, Brown, and Case Western. I have a penchant for urban schools.</p>

<p>I REALLY appreciate all the help I've gotten so far. Thank you.</p>

6

<p>Is Carnegie Mellon too far? It sounds like it would fit what you're looking for.</p>

7

<p>Consider asking your parents if you can add 2-4 schools off your list, and see what kind of financial aid you can get. You may want to research which of the colleges on your list give good merit scholarships. You may also want to find out if they have an active ride board or web page for students who need a ride. Sometimes colleges have buses that go to nearby cities where a number of students live. A little research may go a long way to help ease your parents fears.</p>

8

<p>I think a valedictorian with 99th percentile scores should be able to tell when adults -- yes, even parents -- are pushy and inexperienced in certain areas. Community college?! That doesn't even make any sense. If you were borderline it might be a financially advantageous at the expense of social fit (who wants to take classes with people not of their own age group?!) but it's not like you're going to be paying 100% tuition otherwise...</p>

<p>My advice: apply where you want to and see where you get in and what sort of financial aid packages you're given. Work from there knowing that you got accepted or rejected rather than wondering "Princeton/Brown/Amherst...what if?" I would also advise you that it's your life, and if you are forced to go somewhere you don't like (and it may be hard to transfer) it's your loss when looking back on the experiences you could have had.</p>

<p>A very competent counselor (who worked in admissions at one point) gave me some very important advice a while ago: don't close doors.
Screw your parents (for the time being). Apply. Don't close doors.</p>

<p>I personally would never go to a college in my state in a million years because I hate the environment and none have the right academic fit. On top of that, it's just plain weird to one's parents living so close when you're FINALLY 18 and free and don't have to put up with "old people" looking over your shoulders ("Look at those kids hanging out and having fun to late! They must be hoodlums! Kids these days!")..and bed :p Maybe it's because I'm a guy; I don't know. </p>

<p>I guess it's all different if parents are paying for tuition. My mom unfortunately doesn't have the means so it's always been quite clear that I would be on my own from costs to choice of school. I've never quite experienced the "I'm paying/do what I say and I don't care if I ruin your life" thing a la Dead Poets Society.</p>

<p>In any case, Chicago is a FANTASTIC school for economics.</p>

9

<p>If you can get great merit aid at a school farther away, your parents could use the money you would be saving them in tuition (and maybe more) costs for travel. I'm a parent. That seems like a reasonable trade-off to me. Do your homework. Visit the financial aid websites of the schools you would like to attend and call them if you need to to get the information you need. Then go to your mom with the facts and see if you can have the discussion again. </p>

<p>That doesn't mean that she's not just using travel expenses as an excuse, though. She may just be panicking at the thought of you being so far away.</p>

10

<p>Oberlin does not represent a sacrifice of academic quality to any of the schools on your original list. And I don't know why you think it's less generous with financial aid than the other schools on your list: Oberlin meets the full financial need of every accepted student.</p>

11

<p>What about Michigan? It seems to fit all of your parameters other than being an OOS of public.</p>

<p>Denison is a solid school though not, in my opinion, as good as Kenyon. Also, it's not all that less isolated/rural than is Kenyon. It also seems to be a little more one dimensional from a socio-economic perspective than does Kenyon.</p>

<p>Miami of Ohio would, in my opinion, be a horrible option: undergrad geared largely towards business and education majors and a stifling social life dominated by white, upper middle class greeks. Trust your first instinct on this one.</p>

<p>Ohio State may be large, but among the Ohio publics, it certainly would be the best bet for someone majoring in computer science/math/econ, as well as being large and diverse enough that anyone should be able find his or her social/intellectual niche.</p>

12

<p>No offense, but you need to man up here and speak your mind.
The college of your choice plays a major role on how your future will lay out. Go to the college YOU want to go to. You busted your ass all 4 years of high school so your parents can make a decision for you? You're an adult. You know what's best for yourself. Don't limit yourself just because you need to stay within a 4 hour radius of your house. Go to the other side of the world if that's what you want.
Sorry if I sound harsh, but a lot of the times parents aren't right, including this time. Seriously, a community college?
But hey man, good luck on your decision and if UofChicago is where you see yourself going, then so be it.
Good luck.</p>

13

<p>Michigan University and Case are very good choices. </p>

<p>I've done the math for my kids too, and actually went so far as to buy a map, a compass & made a circle around our home for schools within a 4-hour trip....which is the maximum that I can reasonably see myself doing. My kids don't understand that it's not a 4-hour trip (to drop them off or pick them up). This means that I have to drive 8+ hours whenever they come home, which is not only incredibly expensive now for gas but also is hard for me now that I'm old and feeble. it's amazing how many good schools show up within a 4-hour radius.</p>

<p>Despite this reasonable plan, my D is also looking at some schools that are really far away (Alaska, U-Maine, U-Washington). I've been weighing the number of trips involved if she goes to one of those schools and can make a case that the program they offer is not available at a closer school since I'm not paying for a school just so that she can travel. </p>

<p>Assuming she understands that we probably wouldn't be moving her in the traditional way (maybe one or two trips, plus a storage space over summers, UPS deliveries of her clothes, etc.), the big problems are 1. moving in; 2. parents' weekend (my problem...whimper...I wanna go and would miss it); 3. Thanksgiving (usually only a 3-day break); 4. Christmas break; 5. Spring Break; 6. Easter (most schools are open for Easter anyway); 7. moving out day. I might be able to use my vacation for moving-in and moving-out days, and my kid might need to be in a hotel for Thanksgiving. That leaves winter break and Spring break, potentially 2 round trip tickets a year (either bus, train or plane...depending on the school and cost). If she gets a great deal financially, then money I'd otherwise be using for tuition, room and board could be used for transportation. Of course, if she needs dental care, etc., while away, it would be another problem but so far those emergencies haven't come up with my other two kids who have been away at college (3-3/12 hours away, in different directions).</p>

<p>In other words, keep discussing this situation with your parents. You might want to come up with the application money yourself for one or two of your dream schools, just to see if you can even get accepted (and then get enough financial aid to make a case to your parents that it's do-able). Explaining why a particular program at each school would be more helpful than just saying that you want to go to a certain school. At least in my case, I understand why my kids want to major in X at Y university because they have a special program that isn't available at Z school.</p>

14

<p>First of all, check out Megabus--which offers bus service between Chicago and a number of cities in the mid-west. You can purchase tickets for as low as $1 if you reserve far in advance--the absolute highest is $45.00. I've never tried it myself, but have heard many good things from friends. Have you thought at all about Notre Dame?</p>

15

<p>Honestly, why don't you apply to the schools you want to that meet 100% of demonstrated need and give out good merit aid (i.e. either ivy leagues or schools like USC, Emory, Rice, etc). If worst comes to worst you can always pay your tuition.</p>

<p>I don't have this problem as my mom supports most of my endeavors, but if she didn't I could pay for my schooling myself this year, and as long as my FA stayed the same for the years to come.</p>

16

<p>Case, Carnegie as already mentioned. I've also heard Ohio Northern is very good. I do agree with those that say to speak your mind...I'm a parent with a rising junior at Vandy and it's fear and selfishness (I doubt in a bad way) that is doing this to them. Like it or not it is incumbent upon you to gather the facts to change their mind. The idea applying to the 100% schools is a good one... You just have to make sure you parents will be willing to fill out the FAFSA and PROFILE. If they decide not to do that you are kind of sunk. If they agree to fill it out but pay nothing above and beyond what you get from the schools then you have a few choices. Loans, lots of summer and school year work or go where they will help you out. What are you thinking of studying?</p>

<p>
[quote]
I've done the math for my kids too, and actually went so far as to buy a map, a compass & made a circle around our home for schools within a 4-hour trip

[/quote]
</p>

<p>For the record if you go to collegeboard.com and use their college search feature you can put in a radius (in miles of course) and drill down to the types of schools you want. We found it invaluable.</p>

17

<p>Don't give up on University of Chicago if you really want to go. My brother goes to school in Chicago and loves the city. We live in central Ohio and he really doesn't have much trouble with transportation thanks to the Mega Bus system. It stops in various cities in Ohio (and Indiana I think) and travels to Chicago twice a day. It is VERY reasonable if you book in advance (As low as 10$ round trip). I think you should still apply to UC if it is what you want.</p>

18

<p>Consider Illinois Institute of Technology in Chicago. They offer generous aid and the cost is on the low side anyway. We found their admissions office to be a class act--lots of personal contact, gave a great tour that included a one-on-one with an admissions officer and lunch on them. It's urban and small with some great programs. D's friend chose a full-ride at IIT over a full-ride at Rose Hulman. And what about Northwestern?</p>

19

<p>Oh lord...another one of these threads, "help I am brilliant and need help picking a college." Good grief.</p>

20

<p>I would also offer to your parents to pay for your own transportation home, if your dream school is OOS, affordable to you, and more than four hours from home (say, Amherst). It's pocket change for a good education.</p>

<p>Parents who are thinking that community college is a good deal probably won't be swayed by the fact that some of the schools you're considering are among the best in the country. (Here's an instance where I wouldn't feel bad about pulling out a copy of the US News report and saying, "Here's how all the schools I want to apply to rank.") In my limited experience with Amherst's FA, they're really dead-set on making their school super-affordable to the people who get in.</p>