I hate college...

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>I'm going to be starting my second year of school in a couple weeks, and I have a problem - I'm totally dreading it. I feel like everyone else I know is thrilled to be going back and starting classes, but I have spent all summer trying not to think about returning. I LOVED high school, and I love being challenged, but I haven't been the least bit interested in any of my classes, even the ones that are in my major (which is tentatively Journalism). They're easy and boring, and I only picked my major because everything else seemed out of the question. I'd really love to go to law school, but the market for that is so bad right now that I've ruled it out. </p>

<p>I don't think the class aspect would be so bad if I didn't also hate my social life. I joined the debate team, which was my favorite part of high school, but my college doesn't have the same type that I used to compete in and I don't like this different style at all. I have also tried academic clubs but they all seemed to be jokes and I didn't really bond with anyone in them. I'm also not interested in joining a sorority and I'm not athletic. </p>

<p>I've made enough friends to stay sane (all of them were from my dorm), but they have all acted very stereotypically and they are only interested in underage drinking and hooking up with guys at parties. I have a long-distance boyfriend (which is an entirely different problem) and I'm not a party girl anyway, so I really don't want to get involved in either of those things, but there aren't many options otherwise! I'm in a huge city at a huge school far from my family and high school, and everything feels so unsafe that I'm scared to venture out of campus (especially at night). The school doesn't provide as many activities as I was expecting it would, so the student body is definitely more accepting of alcohol than I prefer. I only picked this school because it was my best option financially, but it's definitely not a fit at all, and I guess I knew it wouldn't be from the beginning. There are so many students that I feel lost in a crowd. Unfortunately, transferring isn't an option since my financial options are limited. </p>

<p>My question is this: Does anyone else feel this way, and if so, how have you dealt with it? I think the last year has changed my personality for the worse, and I don't think I can handle another three years of counting down to breaks when I get to go home and generally feeling like I'm wasting what are supposed to be some of the most fun years of my life. Nothing has any appeal anymore. I've been battling with feelings of depression since I started school, and I just want to regain the passion for school that I used to have.</p>

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<p>Eh, I hated college but for entirely different reasons my second year. </p>

<p>1) Your major isn’t challenging enough yet you’re reluctant to change that. Be more open-minded. Honestly, I know I would succeed flawlessly in some majors, but I would be beating my head on the wall because it wasn’t challenging enough. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone.
2) Don’t try to mimic your high school career by joining the same type of clubs. Find other clubs that seem interesting and take a chance on those. You might discover something new you like.
3) I’m in a long-distance relationship as well. Somewhat tough but easy if you’re with the right person (going on 4 years).
4) You probably haven’t researched it enough. Do heavy research on schools that look like financial options and if you are performing well academically you may even qualify for merit-based aid or scholarships. I know as a transfer student I got about 15K merit aid from a private school I was interested in and I wasn’t THAT great of a student. Probably if I had done better they would’ve gave me more money.
5) Eh, I think college is overrated in the way that it should be some of the most fun years of your life. That generally I think involves a heavy amount of drinking, partying, that whole mass stereotype. I’d say the best years of your life will probably be if you get a good job and reaping the benefits from it. However, yeah this school doesn’t seem like a fit for you. So like I said in #4, look into transfer options. I am doing that (although my tuition is paid for).</p>

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<p>OP,</p>

<p>from your post it seems as if you are trying to recreate your high school experience so you can stay in your comfort zone.</p>

<p>It isn’t there any more. You need to move on.</p>

<p>What is it about a journalism major that is attractive to you? Try to go in that direction…get involved in publications of various sorts–you will meet more “intellectual” people. Are you involved in the paper, the radio station, any blogs or websites/ digital media? The alternative paper? Literary or poetry magazine?</p>

<p>Do you like to write? Research ? Interview?</p>

<p>Debate? Open your self up to a new skill set…or find a high school local to your university and offer to coach a team for them in the style you prefer. Or round up other high school debaters who prefer the same style you do, and launch an additional debate squad.</p>

<p>Try 3 or 4 things that are totally out of your comfort zone but might provide a new interest to you. My S1 had not sung since his fifth grade class assembly…he ended up joining an a capella group and giving improv comedy a try ( he was awful!)…he met a lot of new people–and was exposed to people with a variety of interests–and made new friends. Another son has taken classes in sculpture and glass blowing.</p>

<p>It sounds from your post as if you are expecting the school to entertain you. It won’t. Especially not after freshman welcome week. The school provides a framework for students to develop their interests and skills…and it provides a setting for students to create clubs, etc., that cater to their interests. So it’s up to you after that.</p>

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<p>Thanks for your response, CalDud. </p>

<p>1) I actually tried majoring in Biology first, and my honors intro to bio class was the only difficult class I’ve had. However, it was difficult in that the prof gave loads of busy work and crammed way more info into his lectures than he should have without actually teaching or explaining. No class discussion at all. I did everything I could to follow along but that class kind of smothered the interest I had in Bio before I took it, so I don’t think there’s really a middle ground between getting my butt kicked and, as you said, beating my head on the wall. I guess I’m hoping higher-level journalism classes will be tougher, and if not, I’ll have no choice but to switch to something else. </p>

<p>2) I actually did try two entirely new clubs (fencing and sailing) and in both, the members were hugely into partying and not really my kind of people. Also, they all grew up in the area and knew each other for years and weren’t very accepting of outsiders. I quit both of them after about three months each because they weren’t improving.</p>

<p>3) Congrats on having a happy LDR. My only problem there is that my bf goes to school 12+ hours away (driving) so we only get to see each other two or three times a year. I think he’s the right person, I just wish I got to see him more, and it makes it difficult when my friends want me to go out to clubs with them and I don’t want to.</p>

<p>4) I doubt any smaller schools would match the merit aid I’m getting now, especially because my family doesn’t qualify for any need-based scholarships at all, and it’s so tempting to stay at my school for the money, but you’re probably right. </p>

<p>5) I’m relieved to hear you say that college is overrated. It is hard when everyone I know is excited about school, but then again, a lot of them do drink and party, so I guess I should have different expectations. </p>

<p>Bosyx3: </p>

<p>I’m not trying to recreate high school as much as I am trying to continue doing the things I know I loved before (which is what you’re supposed to do in college, right?). If I know I am (or was) passionate about something, I don’t want to just stop doing that. As I said above, I’ve tried new things and so far haven’t fallen in love with any of them.</p>

<p>I picked journalism because I love reading and writing and I don’t want to major in English because I don’t think I want a career as a teacher. I think you made a good point about trying to get involved in publications. I haven’t done this yet because I just picked my major at the end of last semester. I’ll look into it when I get back to school. </p>

<p>I’m not expecting the school to entertain me, but I’d like it if there were at least some sort of attention being paid to the students who don’t spend every weekend at fraternities, especially when those of us without cars are basically trapped on campus. Three people I know were mugged last year (usually at bus stops) among countless other incidents. I am very supportive of going out of my comfort zone, but not when it’s actually dangerous to do that.</p>

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<p>You said the market for law is bad, what exactly is the market for a Journalism major?</p>

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<p>This is only one possible solution for part of your problems, but I really recommend going to the gym. I started lifting weights last month, and since then I’ve developed a new interest in getting strong/healthy and eating well too. During freshman year, I had really bad habits - being lazy in general, sleeping late, eating junk. It’s not the most social activity, but it’ll help you get out of your apartment, your comfort zone (without being dangerous), and you’ll be in better shape too. By the way, I am (slowly becoming ‘was’) a totally unathletic female but that hasn’t stopped me from starting. If you’re interested, there’s a bunch of programs online. You can message me too.</p>

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<p>For a law degree, I’d have to go to law school. I wouldn’t have to do this for Journalism, which would save time and money, plus I still have time to add in another major and double in something else. Law school is so oversaturated with graduates that one attorney is suing a bunch of law school for misrepresenting their employment prospects. (Source: <a href=“http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/jun/17/unemployed-lawyers-sue-schools-over-promises-of-jo/?page=all[/url]”>http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/jun/17/unemployed-lawyers-sue-schools-over-promises-of-jo/?page=all&lt;/a&gt;). This isn’t happening in Journalism, so I think I’d have a better chance with that. I think I’d be a very skilled journalist. </p>

<p>AwesomeBread: That’s a great suggestion. I don’t like cardio at all, but I think lifting could be fun. I will look into that :)</p>

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<p>@OP As far as academics, Just take it one day at a time. Major in journalism! That is one that I’m actually considering (or psych or poli sci, first year college student here). If you feel it is right, then go for it. Not all majors are equal in terms of the careers they unlock. Do some research on law school. There are always pretty good careers in the legal field. Law school is tough and expensive but look at some average salaries for attorneys, paralegals,etc… Research the LSAT, job opportunities, stuff like that. I know it’s a ways off (you should really be focusing on your major for now) but it’s always good to plan ahead and motivate yourself. If some of you’re classes are boring then take harder ones! Or just ask for extra credit opportunities! Occupy yourself!</p>

<p>As far as friends and partying, I totally understand. I just don’t go out and party if I don’t feel like it. Honestly, I’d rather just relax and get a good snack and watch TV or listen to music. With or without friends. Mature friends. It does get annoying when everyone is YOLOing all over the place. Whatever. It’s just not my thing. A little is okay. Going out and meeting people is always a good thing. But if I’m feeling cynical or just plain bleh about going out, then I just find something else to do. Or recommend something else to do. I’ll say, “Hey just go get some coffee.” </p>

<p>Trust me we don’t all want to YOLO all day long; some of us want a good college experience, socially and academic. We’re out there You just have to find people like this (us). It can be hard though, because we all don’t want to mingle. Sometimes I’m reluctant to go out because I’m not much of a party animal (that was high school lol). But still I want to meet people! I like being a bit of an introvert, but nobody wants to be lonely. It seems like many people can have these confilicting personality traits and emotions. It sucks because what ends up happening is there is no spark to ignite sturdy friendships. We’re afraid to spark what could easily become just a bunch of empty partying. And you’re right: clubs don’t seem like they’d help much haha.</p>

<p>I’ve a little depressed lately too and I think I understand where you’re coming from. It’s a hard place to be in. I’m a freshman though, so take my advice with a grain of salt ;)</p>