<p>I've been at college for about three weeks, and I am absolutely miserable. I was really homesick at the beginning, and then it started to get a little better, but now I just feel more homesick than ever. The school itself I really do like, and my classes are okay, it's just socially I am having so much trouble. In high school I was on the cheerleading team, I had so many friends, I was just overall really happy. But here, I literally have no one, and I never expected it to be this hard to make friends, and I've never been in a situation before where I haven't been able to, and it seriously is the worst feeling in the world. I'm fairly outgoing, I love to go out and have fun, I'm friendly, I'd even consider myself to be pretty, so I just don't understand what's wrong with me. It's gotten to the point that I'm just so discouraged I don't even want to put the effort into meeting new people anymore because I feel like it's just hopeless. I met a group of girls last week that I thought I'd become good friends with, but we only ever hang out if I initiate it and they are all already friends, so I don't want to be clingy and annoying. I honestly don't know what to do, and I just want to go home. I hardly ever even eat here because I never have anyone to go to the dining hall with and I'm too embarrassed to go alone. I would honestly give everything to rewind back to high school, I don't know why I was ever so excited to come here. I miss my old friends and family more than anything, but I don't want to tell them how upset I am because I don't want to worry them and seem like such a loser. All I do is cry and I just want to go home, but I'm scared if I do go home I'm not going to want to come back, and that it will be even worse when I do. I don't know if I should transfer or what, but I really can not take this anymore.</p>
<p>Does your school have a counseling center? Not to say that you need therapy or anything, but maybe telling someone about this in person will give them a chance to ease your mind. You sound like what you need more than anything else is a big hug and someone telling you that you’re awesome and that even though it doesn’t seem like it now, you’re going to have great friends soon, and you’ll wonder why you were ever sad about this.</p>
<p>I wish I had better advice, but I really think talking to someone (and since you don’t want to worry your parents, not them) would help you out!</p>
<p>Don’t be one of those people for whom high school (cheerleader, lots of friends) is the high point of your life. You need to square your shoulders, eat in the cafeteria (take a book if you want something to do), and keep working at joining clubs, study groups, etc. If you don’t have a job on campus, consider getting one (getting to know your co-workers is one way to meet people). Look for volunteer opportunities on campus – helping organize a big event is a good way to work side-by-side with people and get to know them. Think about joining an organization like the school newspaper or yearbook staff, those people spend a lot of hours working together and it is a good way to get to know people. If your college has a Greek system, you could consider rushing. Or look into whether there are any Greek groups that don’t have houses, but do volunteer work as a group. Look for posters of activities on campus and go to them, whether you have a friend to go with or not. And if your social life doesn’t blossom as quickly or completely as you hope it will this semester and next, hit the books hard for good grades, which you will be very glad you have down the road.</p>
<p>These things take time, don’t give up hope. 
Just keep trying, maybe join a club or something if you’re having trouble meeting people.</p>
<p>Please don’t let something like this keep you from going to the dining hall. When you’re eating, do you judge others for eating alone? Probably not, I doubt you even notice them. So don’t let it get to you, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You could also go at busy times (hey, there’s nowhere to sit, can I join you?) to meet people, or at late/early times when it’ll be emptier if you want to avoid people.</p>
<p>As for what to do, I think you just have to stick it out a bit, keep saying hi, keep being friendly. Transferring usually makes things like this worse… I went to three different schools, and every time I had to start over and make new friends, it was never easy, and there were days when I’d go home and cry because I missed my old friends so much. It gets better after a while, I promise.</p>
<p>How far away is home? If it’s within driving distance (meaing an hour or so), go home and destress for a couple days. Don’t go home every weekend or you’ll be cut off socially, but home can make a bad week feel better. Or if you’re worried you won’t want to leave, have your parents come visit you at school, maybe go out to dinner somewhere nice. Again, that’s only if you happen to be near home, otherwise Skype is the closest you can get to a visit home.</p>
<p>It’s college. You are starting over. Some kids can’t wait to get away from high school. Seriously you will have the same problem at any college.
What’s wrong with eating alone?</p>
<p>Hang in there it’ll get better! Just try to get involved with clubs or volunteer work since those are great ways to meet tons of people. Also there’s nothing wrong with eating alone, tons of people do in college all the time.</p>
<p>Go meet the college’s students activities director and tell him/her you want to help and mention that you’re feeling really isolated so could he/she help you connect to some other students. Ask for a task of some sort that will connect you to students. I’ve seen this work. </p>
<p>If you think about it, I am sure you didn’t make all of your friendships in three weeks time when you were younger. Give yourself some more time, and just put yourself into lots of social situations. The larger the setting, the harder it can be, because when you are in a smaller environment with limited numbers of people, your options for friends aren’t so many, and you sort of make friends with whomever is available. At a larger college, there are more people, so exposure may be greater, but depth of getting to know people may take more time. What about your roommate? What about just going to eat and looking for other people who are alone and might like company. The more you get together with the same people, the more familiar you will become. Developing friendships is something that takes time and you just didn’t think about it when you were little first meeting kids in school. Then some of those stay your friends and you have that back up as you meet more kids in middle school and high school. When you leave college and get that first job somewhere, or go to grad school you will have to do the same thing all over again, so you might as well get used to it. Good luck!</p>
<p>OP - please read my previous posts - you can search them. My D sounds just like you, even the part about not wanting to go to the dining hall alone. She eats lunch most days in her room alone and won’t go to the library to study cause it’s “awkward” to go in alone and find somewhere to sit.</p>
<p>As a mom, I can tell you that I think you should call your mom and talk to her (or your dad if you are closer to him). Though it breaks my heart to hear my D so sad sometimes, I think it makes her feel better to talk to me, even if I can’t solve the problem for her, nor do I want to. I can just be the listening ear, the one person who doesn’t need to be told the “backstory” since I know her so well. Then, the next day (or later the same day) she is calling me with something exciting, just like the previous call never happened.</p>
<p>Even her friends that were very outgoing, party types are having a time adjusting to school. Those cliques and friends from high school are now scattered all over the country. What makes her feel better is to Facetime or Skype her besties from high school. Finding out they are missing her just as much makes her feel a little better in a weird kind of way.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>