I’m posting here because I’m not really sure where else to post. I’ve just finished my second year at UC Berkeley and I’m so sad. I struggled with severe mental health problems all throughout high school, but graduated high school in such a better place mentally and physically and was extremely excited and hopeful for college. Since starting, it has been a rollercoaster of struggles. While it’s important to note I had mental health issues anyway, UC Berkeley has done nothing but worsened my situation and I don’t know what to do. I started college feeling confident in my abilities and believing I was an intelligent girl, but currently I feel so stupid and discouraged. Last semester I got my first ever C, and it was probably the grade I’ve worked hardest for. It’s near impossible to get the classes you need, it’s so hard to get help from advisors (getting an appointment with one is hard enough), and I’m so tired of working endless hours and suffering sleepless nights just to get a bad grade. The pressure and the environment is too much for me. I have good friends, live in a sorority that I really like, and love the Bay Area, but I’m clearly not smart enough to go here and don’t know how I even got into this school. Transferring isn’t an option as settling into another school would be far too difficult for me and I feel like I’ve just gone through too much to get to where I am now. I will most likely never get a job as I can’t even get an internship. I guess I just needed to vent somewhere that maybe someone will understand at least a little bit of what I’m going through.
I think it is crazy that students these days are that traumatized by getting a C even when they work hard. I got Cs in Macro, Intro Chem, and Finance in college (yes, I still remember). Squeaked by business law and German with B-s that should have been Cs but for the grace of instructors. And got lots of Bs.
And lest you think things have changed since then, my kid who graduated last year had multiple Cs, some in her major. I know she had at least one C-. Her GPA wasn’t terrific, but she graduated and is in grad school in her planned field. Oh, and she had trouble landing an internship after soph year, too. Some of her classmates ended up taking an extra semester or two to get through, but graduated and eventually got jobs.
Pull yourself together. Take a semester off if you need to. Go to counseling. Your expectations are honestly unreasonable. Don’t compare yourself to people with perfect grades, shiny internships after soph year, etc. Get off social media, enjoy time with your friends. If you can’t find an internship this summer, get some other kind of work to earn some $ and kept busy. Maybe see if you can volunteer in some way in your major area. Stop comparing yourself to others. It is counterproductive.
Yeah, the only B I made in my life before college was in 5th grade, and yet I made a C my first semester at UT, in physics. I also got a C in an Architectural Design class (I was an Architectural Engineering major because I wanted to be a structural engineer - art is NOT my strong point, ha). Like @intparent, I also had Bs that probably should have been Cs. I still managed to get a full fellowship to grad school at UT. College is HARD. And finding a job can be hard, no matter what you major in. My husband and I sent out almost 300 resumes, all over the country, before we found work in Maine - we had to move 2,500 miles from my hometown. But it turned out to be a wonderful place to live, and now we run our consulting business out of our house.
Remember that this won’t last forever. I also think you should get a counselor - he or she can help you think about your options. And there are a LOT of students who are struggling academically more than you, if you got your first C as a sophomore!
The first thing you should do is talk to someone about your problems–student health has mental health counselors. If you don’t want to do that, talk to someone else that you can trust and that will listen to you.
You say that you have good friends, like your sorority, and love the Bay Area. Focus on these things! Don’t feel that everything else (i.e. grades, school, career) has to be perfect. You got your first C at Cal? That means you’ve gotten As and/or Bs up till this point. You’re doing well! Lots of people graduate from Cal with less than a B average and go on to do great things. Or from lesser colleges and go on to do great things. And when I say “great things,” I mean “go on to have a life that has meaning for you.”
Re-evaluate what is important to you. Prioritize your mental health. College is a time to learn–and one of the most important things to learn is how to pace yourself, and set expectations and priorities so that you can thrive. It’s not giving up, it’s not quitting, it’s not letting yourself or anyone else down–it’s doing what’s best for you. Getting through two years at Cal is already a tremendous achievement. Celebrate that achievement, and then get back to work–except from now on, that work should focus on building balance and enjoyment into your life.
I agree that Berkeley is competitive (no one has ever tried to steal my homework or lab notes or whatever, and even if they did, I doubt it would help much lmao, as I’m not very smart) but it’s a pressure cooker because everyone tries their hardest and it can be devastating to not do as well as you’d like after so much effort, when it seems like everyone else is doing so well or has it more together than you do. That’s how I felt as a freshman.
And as for getting a job–many employers don’t really care much about GPA when making hiring decisions. It’s about appropriate skills for the job, how you handle yourself, interpersonal skills, leadership, etc. And of course, being a good match for the position. You can work on these things, but again, they will come most naturally when you’re in a good state of mental health–that’s priority number one.
MODERATOR’S NOTE: Let’s not speculate about what the OP wants to do for a career since she didn’t mention it in her post. Please stick to giving her helpful suggestions.
Thank you everyone for you advice - I really appreciate everyone taking the time to respond. I do see a counselor which helps a great deal, but I wanted to post somewhere where someone might say “hey I feel that too!” Since I’m in an environment where it seems everyone is doing better than me/has everything together, it can be really hard so say “I’m struggling” when it feels like you’re the only one. What I will ask is that people don’t tell me to “pull myself together” - believe me if it was that easy, I would.
@undergradgal I definitely felt the same way you did at Berkeley; I felt like everyone had everything together unless they told me they didn’t, and also that they were doing better than me, unless they said they weren’t. That’s why I was hesitant about being open about my struggles and why I also find it hard to pull myself together at times
Developing resilience is important. If you got into Berkeley, likely you didn’t have any bad grades before that to speak of. My Cs mentioned above were at Michigan, which is comparable to UCB. College was a HUGE step up academically from my HS. There were a lot of people with better college prep, more savvy about when to drop a class or get a tutor, more people with better study skills, some people who repeated intro classes they could have placed out of to get a good grade, lots of people who were better at figuring out who the easiest profs and TAs were, and quite a few people who were flat out smarter than I am. There are lots of reasons college is harder than HS.
Life has a lot of twists and turns where things you thought would be easy and/or great don’t turn out to be. Learning to roll with that and accept that everything isn’t going to go exactly as you planned is an important skill.
Never had a C until college. It might have been Calc3 but there were a few more after that.
I walked out of a midterm and dropped the class (Computation Theory) 25 years ago because I couldn’t do a single problem. I took it a second time and got an easy B just by understanding the professor’s thought pattern.
You will get through this and a degree from UCB will look always look fine on the resume.
@ OP. Know that you are not alone other kids will be feeling overwhelmed. As for the school if you were not smart you would not have been admitted. As for a C in a class, that’s a passing grade. You doing great, it’s Berkeley it’s meant to be hard, if it were easy everybody would be going there.
I think sleep deprivation definitely adds to any mental health issues, so it’s important to look at your schedule and see if there is anything you can reasonably cut down on so you have the ability to get to sleep earlier.
I don’t know what your major is, but some majors are infamous for having some classes that are really, really hard. Is it possible for you to take one of your harder classes over the summer to make your schedule easier?
About your C. I even had 2 Ds in college and ended up getting into a top grad school. That’s because I continued to study in the field and took upper level classes in it and ended up steadily improving. I wrote my grad school admissions essay on how I wasn’t going to let those initial bad grades get in the way of what I wanted to study, and I think the schools liked my determination and ultimate ability to succeed. If that’s not your story, and your C is in something that you never have to do again, I don’t think that C is going to really mean anything to an employer or grad school. For example, if you’re an engineer, the fact that you got a C in French isn’t relevant.
Our child got a D or F in a subject in middle school but still got a top into the elite prep high school. She also took an extra year to get her BA (due to low grades in her major) but has been doing jobs in her field, despite no internships.
I would join a group…get involved. See a counselor. Volunteer this summer doing something you like helping other people. Exercise every single day. Keep a journal of what you are grateful for even if it is just for sunshine and no humidity. I know these ideas sound trite but your mental health is important and you sound smart and worth more than you know. A good counselor can really help redirect your thinking. I had a whole ton of B’s and C’s and I got a job.
If you only got one C in college, and you are a junior, most of your grades must be better. Your GPA has got to be pretty good overall, and there’s no reason why you couldn’t get a job. Maybe you would have been better at a small liberal arts college rather than a large research university, but if it’s really too late to transfer, I think there is no reason why you won’t still be OK. A lot of your fears appear to be due to anxiety and maybe depression. If you get on well with your sorority sisters, this has got to be something supportive and positive, and maybe you could talk to them about how you are feeling. Or possibly consider seeing a professional counsellor. But there’s no doubt college can be tough, and you’ve got to get enough rest and try not to be too hard on yourself. You are doing fine.