<p>There are people like that at every college. You just have to seek out the ones who are more like you. You can't just sit around and expect them to come to you. Join something that interests you, or something like that.</p>
<p>Yeah...what she said.</p>
<p>This is a very worthwhile discussion because many kids are faced with this same dilemna when they get to college - or even when they're out in the working world, pursuing a career. You're going to meet all kinds of people - wherever you go. You just have to try to put yourself in situations where you will meet people with whom you can relate and feel comforable. Remember, you meet people through other people. Keep you social circle wide, if possible. If not, stick with the couple of good friends you made, and together try to increase your activities/social circle. Someone made the previous comment about visiting a favorite professor and starting up a discussion. Great idea! Who knows who else might be in his office asking the same thing? Professors who are mature and have been around young adults enough know that there are social issues going on. The last thing they want to see is a good student give up the school academically because they're unhappy with the college life. With age comes wisdom, so give yourself another chance, especially if you enjoy the school academically, you worked hard to get there - don't give up too readily! :)</p>
<p>No college is going to be THAT intellectual, after all we are all 18-21 years old, so that type of maturity can not be completely expected. Sure kids are a lot more intellectual in high school, but they still are kids. It seems like when people transfer that they sometimes bring the problem with themself, just a thought. GL</p>
<p>I agree with people who suggested joining a club or organization with a more "serious" or academic focus-- the debate team, or a service fraternity for example. This way you're meeting people who you know are committed to something positive, and hopefully have more in common with you.</p>
<p>I take major offense to whoever said "transfer to a school without Greek life". As someone who is involved with Greek life, I know for a fact that not everyone who is Greek lives up to the drinking/partying stereotype. And many, MANY students who are not in a fraternity or sorority drink heavily and party often. I hope that you (the OP) don't take this advice, and keep an open mind to at least possibly befriending people you might meet who are involved in Greek life. :)</p>
<ol>
<li>Stop caring about others and learn to appreciate solitude.</li>
<li>Grow a spine.</li>
<li>You'll come across people with similar interests; just give it time.</li>
</ol>
<p>Quite frankly, I don't understand why you care so much about finding "friends".</p>
<p>Wow! I totally get how you feel. Although, to avoid exactly the situation you describe, I will be attending a college with a certain "elite" reputation (I'm not in college yet). I know that sounds simplistic, so, I have prepared myself for what you are describing, because there are class-less, juvenile adolescents at any school, from Harvard on down. What is the reputation like of the college you go to? When I was college searching I paid particular attention to this so as to avoid being in a situation like the one you describe. </p>
<p>Anyway, you'll be transferring so things should improve. But, in the meantime, can't you find scholastic lectures to attend? Symphony concerts? Museums? Things that are more your speed? Good luck. </p>
<p>Also, you should know that most colleges are more like diploma factories than anything. Really, when one is paying pay $30,000+ a year, one expects a job at the other end. It's sort of like investing in a house. This has certainly deteriorated the scholarly, learning-for-the-sake-of-learning side of college.</p>
<p>I thought the same way my freshman year until about this time. Then I realized "Hey, maybe the reason I'm not meeting people is because I'm not doing anything TO meet people." I was stuck in my little bubble, shell, whatever, still doing the shy high school thing, and then I was like, "well... if I want to meet people I can't stay in my dorm all the time can I?" So... I did stuff. I started swing dancing, I joined some organizations (and I'm in a leadership position in one this year), and I've met some really cool people through both of these. And you know, you CAN take classes that interest you that don't necessarily fall within your major range. They might qualify for gen ed requirements or something. But if you're taking it because you're interested in it, then common sense would tell you that there's probably other people in there for the same reason. Talk to people. I promise not everyone is talking about how they got wasted at the bar last night, or whatever. Some people are in college for reasons other than "Daddy's paying for it so I might as well", even at state schools. I'm at a state school because they gave me a full ride, not because I was too dumb to go anywhere else.</p>
<ol>
<li>Stop caring about others and learn to appreciate solitude.</li>
<li>Grow a spine.</li>
<li>You'll come across people with similar interests; just give it time.</li>
</ol>
<p>Quite frankly, I don't understand why you care so much about finding "friends".</p>
<p>Really, there's no reason that you have to be best buddies with your roommate and all your hallmates if you don't actually like them. I never spoke to any of my hallmates (most of them were kinda ditzy and the ones that might not have been weren't ever around) and my roommate and I just sort of silently co-existed. We didn't go to the dining hall and whatnot together after the first week. If you don't have anything in common with them, just don't bother with them...it's not like they won't let you into the dining hall if you're by yourself, or like your hallmates are going to tie you up, kidnap you, and bring you to a frat party every weekend, if you decide you'd rather do something else. And if you've already got 2 close friends, you managed better than I did and it's not like it's some sort of travesty if you don't have 20.</p>
<p>I am not really convinced that students at elite schools really have more 'intellectual curiosity' than students at other schools (although I'm sure they like to at least claim that they do). Almost everyone goes to college nowadays, so you're always going to find all kinds of people.</p>
<p>This is sort of what I'm really afraid of in college. I go to a charter school and it's pretty alternative and small. I have a really amazing group of friends, many of whom I have been friends with since elementary school. I have good social skills and I'm not worried about actually meeting people in college I'm just worried I won't be as happy with them as I am here. I don't see how anyone can expect you to settle for not finding friends. Friends are possibly the most important thing in my life.</p>
<p>
[quote]
a pretty reputable state school, actually.
[/quote]
Try a private school next time.</p>
<p>dood, why don't you just try new stuff. There's nothing wrong with drinking a bit, nothing wrong with smoking a little pot, nothing wrong with trying to get laid, that's part of WHY you go to college, not just intellectual pursuits.</p>
<p>I go to Berkeley, and there's TONS of partying, hell I could be drunk and stoned every night of the week if I wanted to, but I prefer to leave that to the weekends...and thursdays. but through that I've still found people i've connected with intellectually, and have plenty of deep conversations, met cool people, taken great classes.</p>
<p>It's all about not being shy, leaving your old self at home and becoming something new, thats what college is, a WHOLE experience, not just a diploma factory. So go out.
As Dispatch says, "Take a shower, shine your shoes, you got no time to lose, you are young men you must be livin'!"
Stop worrying about every little moralism and experiment, try something new you might enjoy it.</p>
<p>so to the person who originated this thread:
iowa. they only admit people based on ACT scores, so i'm sure that lots of annoying/*****y/obnoxious/immature/unintellectual people get in and go there every year. if you're going to transfer, try applying to a school that requires essays and really looks at the person as a whole. then maybe you'll be more likely to find people that you like :)</p>
<p>There's no guarantee of anything these days... You have to be your own best friend and get out and do things you enjoy - then you'll meet other people who like the same things...</p>
<p>You are obviously going to the wrong college for YOU and I think your decision to transfer is a very good one. Being an older person (53) I would think that the most important thing about college is not just about getting an education in the book sense, but also in the 'life' sense. So many kids go off to college with these grand ideas that those 4 years are going to dramatically change their lives when the truth is there are many things they will encounter that can and will change their lives, and being aware of ones environment and whether they are learning and growing in every sense of the way is very important. It is a very difficult decision to choose what college to attend especially at the young age of 17 or 18 when most kids are still living at home under their parents wing and clueless to the world around them....they cannot begin to imagine how different things will be away from the environment of home, school, and lifelong friends so don't be so hard on yourself. For as long as you live you will be learning about yourself and how to cope in this world and you won't learn most of it in college....use that time wherever you are to not only educate yourself but to make yourself a better person, a stronger person, a person with depth and compassion for others and you will find the kind of life you are looking for. College is a time to experience ones first real comittment to something important and your life after college will be full of them so learn how to choose wisely.</p>
<p>I felt that way in highschool. I was friends with people I absolutely disdained.</p>
<p>I only hung out with them so that I could say that I have people I hang out with. I finally decided how stupid that was and left them.</p>
<p>I spent more time with people who really were my friends and met their friends. I went to different places and met different people.</p>
<p>Just grow legs and walk around. There is a whole world waiting for you!</p>
<p>im in the same boat, minus the 2 friends
:( why do people waste thousands of $$ just to drink? im here to learn and get out...</p>
<p>theyre at private schools too</p>
<p>the funny thing is that those loud people might very well be your employer someday. I suggest that you learn to deal with them because theyre everywhere. Learn to create sides to yourself, be able to hang out with those drunk people and have fun and also be able to have those discussions you want. If you can get through this and manage to make friends out of both groups, you know you'/ll be successful socially forever</p>