I hate my college

<p>Several of my daughter’s friends “came home” after the first semester last year. Some enrolled at community college and took GE classes. Better check quickly to see if you can still get in. If your parents will let you come back, that’s your best bet.
Otherwise, stay in your classes in the SEC, get good grades, and you’ll be home before Christmas. Get involved in some EC’s, so you can build your transfer resume. Then go to community in the spring, and transfer next fall. Be sure to register early for CC, classes fill up. If you can get mostly A’s this year, it will make your transfer transcript look better than the 3.0 in HS.
Don’t pledge a fraternity now. If you do end up going to a different school next year, the house you choose may be totally different at the new school. Just wait. But do get involved in some other clubs and be open to the experiences!</p>

<p>What school are you at, if you don’t mind?</p>

<p>

Talk to someone face to face in the registration office as soon as you can after the open tomorrow. Do not talk to a student worker. Talk to someone who looks old enough to have real experience.</p>

<p>You’re young, working hard in school for 3 months won’t kill you. Put ALL your time into getting straight A’s on the classes you have. Then, don’t return after Xmass break. Take a semester off and apply with a 4.0 GPA to the college you REALLY want to go to. You should also join at least one club, or two, so they see you were involved, even if you hate it. Then you can say in your transfer essay, “even though I was really involved and doing well, I always just wanted to get to my dream school”. Yes, you may be miserable for 3 months, but keep focused on the end game. </p>

<p>You sound determined to hate this school no matter what.</p>

<p>I think you should stick it out for one semester. If you quit this after just one week, then it doesn’t bode well for your ability to persevere in any situation in the future that doesn’t immediately appeal to you.</p>

<p>No, I completely understand your attitude.<br>
It is originally a place that you did not want to go to and it was your only 4 yr acceptance. So, your parents and social environment (HS) pressured you to go to a place that you had no desire to attend. </p>

<p>I can tell you right now that your grades are going to suffer tremendously because your heart is just not in this school, yet you attended just to make everyone happy except for yourself. </p>

<p>There’s a difference between “wanting” to be accepted (like my daughter was at her college-she loved the school, but was having a hard time initially adjusting), and
absolutely “knowing” in your heart that no amount of trying will get you to ever like where you are (My friend’s daughter, Melanie, who graduated from a school, that she absolutely hated, but went there to please her parents. Parents also ended up not being happy with the school’s support system and that daughter received no job offers).</p>

<p>So, you need to talk to someone in the administration building, no students! First go online and look up on your schools website, how to drop/rescind your acceptance without fipenalties. There is a drop deadline that should be coming up soon. Research it thoroughly. Then contact your local CC and see if you can start some of the later GE classes. Then talk to your parents</p>

<p>Look up on other posts about “fit”, since I know some people here on CC might not agree with what I’m saying. The school has to be the right fit for you, not anyone else. Tell your parents that overall, you need to save them money, time and heartache. Go to a community college until you can find the right school.</p>

<p>@aunt bea,
if “fit” is such a big deal then why is “fit” at community not a consideration?</p>

<p>Could be a consideration too. </p>

<p>I just know that my daughter loved her school and toughed it out, in the beginning, because she knew it was the right school for her. She loves her school and friends now, but she is different from the OP and was actually motivated by the school itself and this motivated her to try.</p>

<p>Melanie, however, knew she didn’t like her school from the beginning, but her parents were into the “prestige” factor, so Melanie went to their choice. Melanie just wanted to go to the local big inexpensive college, but her parents thought Melanie could do better. </p>

<p>Well looks like we’re in the same crew on the SS diareah</p>

<p>Fit is highly overrated. It is a ‘nice to have’ not a requirement. I see the same problem sometimes with my younger children. They decide ahead of time that they will not like something…food, travel option, party, whatever. Then it takes a team of horses to help them understand that the reason they don’t like it is only because they prejudged.</p>

<p>If you are this unhappy after 1 week and you refuse to make a legitimate go of it, then quit. No point in worrying about grades or transfers or CC. You will be unhappy everywhere as well. Nothing will ever live up to your imagination of what ‘could-have-been’. If the next option does not work out, you will simply blame your current school for ruining your life. Start thinking about career choices that suit your dream and join the workforce. Maybe once you have put in a couple of years of living in the real world you will understand that the college was not the problem.</p>

<p>I don’t know the actual percentages, but there are thousands of students like you who after a few days have had buyer’s remorse. (even some at whatever school you thought would have been Nirvana) You are now looking for people to enable you to continue to take yourself down a self-destructive path. College is a means to a better life for a lot of people. For some, it is the center of their existence. They never let go of college. For most people the reality is more about getting a degree in a field that will help you get a job doing something you love (or at least like) for the next 40+ years.</p>

<p>Sometimes our choices are not what we dreamed. Buck up. Do the very best you can and actually try to see beyond what you ‘want’ and use this as a learning opportunity. If you give in when you reach a hurdle, it will become easier and easier to do so as you get older.</p>

<p>I know this sounds harsh. Your parents clearly love you and understand that it is more important that you learn to cope. You can do this! Believe in yourself.</p>

<p>Im going to try and stick it out for a semester, but thats the longest ill ever stay at this place. Im am going to devote most of my time to my studies so that should keep me fairly busy. Thanks for the advice guys.</p>

<p>You say you are having trouble meeting people but then you decided not to accept a fraternity bid (of which you had many)? Are you so convinced you are going to be miserable at your school, you are creating a reality where that is true?</p>

<p>If you are at a big school, that means you have tons of resources, tons of options, and tons of different types of people to meet. There is variety at a big school, take advantage of that! Your situation is not impossible AT ALL, so instead of deciding it will be awful, why don’t you put effort into making it work for you? </p>

<p>You could just be homesick…which is completely normal, but try to see past it and realize that even if you do end up going home in the near future, it is worth putting in some effort now so that in case you do end up sticking around for a semester (or longer) you haven’t completely ■■■■■■ yourself over in the first week and you actually have some friends!</p>

<p>Acknowledge your emotions, accept them, and rationally tell yourself that you need to just continue on for a little bit longer and make the best of things. There is always transferring! Keep that window open and don’t do anything abrupt.</p>

<p>I am, i didn’t accept the bids because i want to rush next year at a different university. I have accepted the reality of the situation and I know I’ll be fine.</p>

<p>hi @unit17! Have things gotten any better? Have you been able to do well in classes even though you aren’t terribly happy?</p>

<p>Things are a little better but not by much. Yes I’ve been doing well in all my classes i currently have all A’s.</p>

<p>Still doing ok? Glad to hear you’re getting all A’s! thats so important if you plan to transfer. How is your room mate?</p>

<p>Do you a history with depression? All I know is that one year ago I was in your shoes. Because of money, I had to attend UIUC, my state school. I hated it there. It was huge, in the middle of nowhere, all most ppl did was drink, and it made me feel so isolated. Every day I just dreaded being there. I saw a counselor & psychiatrist, had friends, and did ok in class (3.3), but after my first semester I left. THANK GOD. Now I’m at a community college, which sucks, but I’m transferring to a school in Chicago this Spring, which I’m so excited for. Unlike everyone else, I’m going to tell you to withdraw. You don’t have to stick it out. Your happiness should be more important; it’s your life. Eventually your parents will get over it like mine did.</p>

<p>Im doing ok, i feel a lot less motivated though. Idk what to do now honestly, and no i don’t have a history with depression but i have had a lot of bs in my life the past few months…</p>

<p>@unit17‌ I have to ask, as someone who’s also at the only school that accepted her and wasn’t thrilled when she started, do you have anything outside of school, your parents, etc. that you can turn to? For me, it was my religion, and it really helped me find comfort in turning it over to God. Not that this has to be a religion, it could be your personal philosophy, or just a counselor to talk to, not necessarily about depression, but just about some of your troubles. This really helped me, and to be honest, you seem like you could use anything and everything that might help.</p>