I have a college interview this Saturday... and my mother wants to go with me?! -_-"

Parents Forum
1

<p>Yup... pretty much.</p>

<p>I'm from Mexico, currently applying to MIT and other schools. The interview that is scheduled for this Saturday is for MIT, and it's going to be in my hometown: Guadalajara.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, as some of you might know, Mexico is facing many problems with crime, violence, drug cartels, kidnapping, etc. and my mother thinks the interview thing could be a fraud and that "I might be in danger".</p>

<p>Yeah, she's overprotective, I HATE that about her -_-" </p>

<p>Anyway, I tried to explain her many times how admissions work in the US, yet she wants to go with me.</p>

<p>I've tried to tell her everything's OK and that the guy is legit (I double checked with MIT admissions, THEY gave me the contact info of the interviewer), yet she feels it's a scam (wow, what?) and that it looks suspicious.</p>

<p>Why's that? Well, the interviewer graduated from MIT, yes, he works for a big insurance company here as an executive or something (I checked his background online), and just because of his occupation my mom has the "bad vibes", and yes she's the kind of person who thinks that if someone graduates from a school like Harvard or MIT, they automatically become millionaires or something like that.</p>

<p>In a nutshell, she doesn't wants me to go abroad for college. Why? She has many reasons, some valid, others make no sense whatsoever.</p>

<p>What do I do? I intend to go to my interview nonetheless even if I get in trouble with her, but I'd like to find a civilized way of telling her to stop treating me like a 5yr old. For God's sake I'm 19!</p>

<p>Any suggestions?</p>

2

<p>It’s not unusual for a parent to drive or bring a student to an interview. My son had one three hours away and he said he was too nervous to drive that far alone. I shook hands with the interviewer and left for an hour while my son went through the process. Another time one of my sons had an interview in conjunction with a tour. Again I walked into the admissions office with my son, shook a few hands, smiled, made small talk and then left and wandered around campus. Perhaps just explain to her that once she has met the person doing your interview it would be a nice idea for her to go and do something while you have your interview. I’m certain the interviewer does not expect her to sit with you during the entire process. For the interview at the campus I was invited at the end of the interview into the office and the interviewer specifically addressed me and asked if I had any questions, but this was a clear invitation to speak with the admissions dean.</p>

3

<p>Even if she sits outside the room where the interview is happening and waits for you, it’s no big deal. That happens all the time, and won’t look strange. It would only be strange if she actually comes into the interview itself with you.</p>

4

<p>Quite often parents go along to interviews. Sometimes they have to because the student can’t drive, doesnt’'know the area, they’re on campus together for the tour anyway, etc., etc. The parents wait outside the room or at a coffee shop, etc., while you’re in with the interviewer. Quite often, interviewers make a point to “meet and greet” the parent who came along. Sometimes they ask the parents if they have any questions. It’s not unusual at all. </p>

<p>In addition to all of that, your mom probably has a point about the current dangers of Mexico. I wouldn’t want my child meeting a stranger alone, either. Don’t assume her desire to come along is a plan to sabotage your MIT admission and keep you close to home. Her concerns about your safety are probably legit. </p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

5

<p>If it’s a daytime interview in a big office building, park her in the breakroom and give her money for a Coke and some cheese crackers. ;)</p>

6

<p>There is no big deal in your mother going as long as she is not in the room. Here in America parents drive their kids all the time to interviews and they wait with a cup of coffee in the car.</p>

<p>Good luck!!!</p>

7

<p>I doubt that the interviewer will have your mom actually sit in on the interview itself. When my kids were in high school, we drove them to every interview…even ones that were closeby. It really was no big deal. I’m not sure why you would not want your mom to at least drive you to the interview.</p>

8

<p>Take your mom. The interviewer will be able to cope with her. He lives in Mexico too, and even if he isn’t Mexican himself, by this point he certainly knows what Mexican moms are like. It will be OK.</p>

<p>Suerte!</p>

9

<p>My daughter was in Quadalajara a year ago for a college trip, so I can understand why your mom would be worried. </p>

<p>I drove my daughters to all of their college interviews because one didn’t drive and one doesn’t like driving long distances. Several of the admissions people requested that I sit in on the interview, and I did sit in on some of them (and kept my mouth shut unless directly questioned by someone). </p>

<p>I agree with the suggestion that you let your mother come, and encourage her to sit in a waiting room. Sending your beloved child out of the country is scarey business… give her some consideration.</p>

10

<p>It’s just that she has a tendency to try to do things for me, even when she doesn’t have to. Which annoys me.</p>

<p>I’ll talk with my mom and see what she says, but I DON’T want her next to me or listening to my interview! That would make me nervous, and would stop me from actually being myself with the interviewer.</p>

11

<p>I can’t imagine any interviewer allowing her to sit next to you, or within earshot of the interview. They will graciously suggest a place where she can wait for you, and if she doesn’t get the drift, they will tell her the interview is a private matter and direct her somewhere to wait.</p>

12

<p>I am surprised at all the comments of people who ‘met’ the interviewer. I did drive my son to some interviews, but never went inside or even near the interviewer. I figured it was his thing and he could handle it.</p>

13

<p>I agree that many parents drive and the interviewer will instruct her where to wait. Also explain to your mother that many teenagers who are nervous or need to vent after a challenge, tend to blame things on their mother so her best strategy is to just drive you and then stay in an outside room.</p>

14

<p>I never walked my kids into an interview in a coffee shop or home, but if it was at a school I did wait in the nicely appointed admissions office, and generally, they did come out to say hello.</p>

15

<p>I didn’t’ go with my S to any of his interviews and agree with you, that at 19 you can handle a college admissions interview alone. However, the safety issue is relevant in this case and I would make a compromise with her. Go into the building without her, but have her nearby in a coffee shop, etc. </p>

<p>I just saw this thread and there is a post about someone that just had an MIT interview. Thought you may get some of the same questions:</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/246098-thread-college-interviews.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/246098-thread-college-interviews.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Remember to have a couple of your own questions! And know the programs you are interested inside and out. Good luck :)</p>

16

<p>The local MIT interviewer told parents they can show up, say hi, and disappear for 1 hr.</p>

17

<p>Well, FWIW the MIT interviewer sounds cool over the phone, he even told me to bring the list of my backup schools and that we’ll also discuss how to get into the others in case I don’t get into MIT, which, sadly, is likely to happen.</p>

<p>Still, it’s good to hear someone like that :slight_smile: He even told me: “It’s not about the school, it’s about the student” which is true, to some extent.</p>

18

<p>Muy buena suerte. I’m glad the MIT interviewer is ‘chill;’ wishing you the best on this venture. Moms almost always worry, any culture, any place. Glad you found a solution that worked for both of you. Let us know how it went.</p>

19

<p>I am an alumni interviewer for an Ivy League school. Here’s how I feel.</p>

<p>Mostly, parents disappear for the interview. However, sometimes they do not–for any number of reasons. If they stay, some are invisible (very good) and some seem to need to be be part of the interview. I pretty much ignore whatever they want to say. I am interviewing you, not someone else. So make sure that if there is some answer you want to give, make sure it comes from you mouth.</p>

<p>I have not problem with a parent who wants to “observe.” However, if the parent feels a need to take an active role, I do assess how the applicant handles the parent. I would set some ground rules with your parent. Ideally, she will be simply quiet. If you think she wants to “contribute” then just make sure that you are respectful, but firm in keeping control of the process.</p>

20

<p>I had my interview for MIT today…</p>

<p>4 hours in his house, talking.</p>

<p>He saw my high school grades, I explained some things, we talked a lot and…</p>

<p>At the end of the day, he seemed to give me a green light! I even asked him “Sir, you saw my grades, we’ve talked about my past and what I’ve done. Unfortunately I don’t have what many other folks have (like superb extracurricular activities), do you think I’d have a shot?” He didn’t even let me finish my question and said</p>

<p>“First of all, don’t limit yourself. That’s why I wanted to see your grades. if I didn’t see a congruence between what you said and your academic results, I would have finished the interview earlier. IMO you have potential, but I want you to start writing the essays ASAP, I want to review them personally. If you get good results in your tests, you could have a shot”.</p>

<p>I’m literally happy right now, not everyone hear that directly from their interviewer, and I swear I’m gonna do everything to achieve a positive admission result.</p>