I lied to my parents... and now I cannot lie anymore.

<p>First of all, let me say that you are not the first person who found himself in this situation. I have a very close family friend who had a similar experience as far as school being the wrong option for him. He was not a partier, but he had family problems and never really engaged in the academics. After two failing semesters, he left college and joined the air force. Best decision ever for him. He matured enormously, has a job he likes, has been promoted and intends to take classes towards his degree. He is ready for that now.</p>

<p>BTW, regardless of your political leanings, you should seriously consider American military service if you are inclined to that. Serving your country is not a political commentary. Do you think that all soldiers have identical opinions and agree with every decision from their commander in chief? Of course not. Over the course of a military career, there will be many changes in policy and leadership. Soldiers cannot come and go based on a whim. If you join, you must be committed to service.</p>

<p>I would also like to offer this parental advice. Please do NOT let your folks be blindsided in the meeting. You can’t let them go thinking it is about housing and let them find out from the dean that the meeting is really about reinstatement. Tell them the truth ASAP! The better informed they are, the better they can help you. They will see that beating you down further is not the answer. Give them a chance.</p>

<p>One reason I don’t visit CC much anymore. I used to really like the parent section but now there are just too many first time young person posters with very general, hypothetical scenarios baiting parents into wasting their time.</p>

<p>

Bravo, glido!!! :D</p>

<p>Coast Guard might be an option. Day labor/furniture moving is brutal but could help show a determination to work and remorse. </p>

<p>You can’t change yesterday – you can only do the best you can with today and tomorrow.</p>

<p>if you need to go to school, then go to a community college.</p>

<p>“One reason I don’t visit CC much anymore. I used to really like the parent section but now there are just too many first time young person posters with very general, hypothetical scenarios baiting parents into wasting their time”</p>

<p>That’s certainly always a possibility. Even so, I always think that maybe someone else is reading these threads who really does need the advice.</p>

<p>OP fiction or not, I know of two cases where this exact thing happened. The lie was out of fear of hurting the parents. Once confronted with the truth, however, the parents were quiet supportive and in both cases things eventually turned out fine.</p>

<p>If you really want to give college another try, enroll in a class or two at a local community college. This is probably the lowest-cost, lowest-risk way to determine if you are ready for higher education.</p>

<p>As you are well aware now, though, college involves a level of dedication and effort to be successful. If you are willing to make the commitment and put the work in, you can do well at community college and begin to consider options at more prestigious institutions. If you are not willing to put in this effort, however, you would be better off not wasting your time and money and should instead decide what you might want to do with your life. There are plenty of careers available for people without a college education. This is ultimately your decision, not your parents.</p>

<p>Good luck with whatever you decide to do.</p>

<p>“Once my time was coming to a close, I considered joining the French Foreign Legion because it would probably increase my discipline and it would provide a great excuse for not going to college this semester. It didn’t quite work out. Apparently, the FFL officers are allowed to give you corporal punishment if you are too slow physically or mess up. I know I cannot take that and that I’m not physically fit enough to even qualify yet.”</p>

<p>Increase his discipline? Great excuse for not going to college? The French Foreign Legion?</p>

<p>Please.</p>

<p>Apparently, there used to be efforts by college kids to get Ann Landers to respond to patently ridiculous requests for advice.</p>

<p>That was before CC provided a platform for the same mischief.
I think this one can be filed under that heading.</p>

<p>That’s a combat brigade, Emeraldkitty. The very next line says that U.S. troops will remain in Iraq at least until 2011, to advise the Iraqi forces and “protect U.S. interests.” That means if insurgents continue to attack U.S. bases or threaten U.S. troops they will fight. A State Department spokesman has already said we have a “long commitment” to rebuilding Iraq.</p>

<p>To OP - everyone else has given you good advice. I think you have good ideas about taking time off college. Posit it to your parents like this - you weren’t ready to go to college right out of the box, and you may not be ready to go back. If you do, you might do poorly - and waste their money. But if they gave you a trial period and let you work a full-time job and pay rent for a semester or a year, and let you learn some discipline and maturity, then you can go back and do better. Give this idea to them calmly.</p>

<p>Are your parents prepared to pay full freight for you this year? Because if you lost your financial aid for summer & have not filed a financial aid appeal, you won’t have aid for fall, either.</p>

<p>UPDATE:
I feel that it’s necessary to provide an informative update based on the feedback I’ve received here that are all generally insightful.</p>

<p>I searched positions in Americorps and applied with the online forms provided and gave two references. It went through fine and I thought it would provide me with opportunities, but currently as of September 1, I haven’t received any replies other than confirmation of emails sent to my references of which I doubt they’d provide enough information for the jobs I applied for (environmental, childcare, juvenile care, tutoring). Writing it down now seems hypocritical as I’m not that disciplined of an individual to even be qualified at juvenile care. At the time, it seemed a better option because of all the people that are in low-income districts, I wish the children better conditions than their parents and/or adults. After seeing parents waste money on cable TV, alcohol, cigarettes, and sometimes internet, all the while their children aren’t provided healthy foods or activities, it leaves a lasting mark that never leaves you. On a different light, I did relatively well in high school in a highly ranked (in my state) public high school. Of course, public education up to high school is pretty much a joke anyways.</p>

<p>I really did think that I was going to get kicked out. So, as busdriver11 advised, I made plans by 11:05AM on August 30, the day of the appointment, and since it was urgent and could get ugly, I made up plans from A to G. I will state that some of the plans entailed me getting kicked out running home to get my bicycle and packed backpack with essential supplies to trek my way through nearest couch through couchsurfing ([CouchSurfing</a> - Participate in Creating a Better World, One Couch At A Time](<a href=“http://www.couchsurfing.org/]CouchSurfing”>http://www.couchsurfing.org/)), visit an old friend’s house (not a friend anymore, but parents are nice individuals), or if need be to go to the nearest homeless shelter or church. I’ve finally accepted that I was being rash and that I’m more impulsive and irrational than I previously thought because I had planned to bike or somehow get to Texas for the last thing I held onto which was my childhood dream.</p>

<p>With all that aside, I finally told my parents and my older sibling who was going to explain to housing for an exception (yeah, I ****ed up big time) inside the car shortly after 11AM right after I’d finished typing up my plans and bike routes on my laptop. As we drove off the driveway and headed around the corner, I told them I had something important to tell them. They were humored by my serious response for which they thought would be nothing of that sort. I repeated that it was very serious and that it’s important. I then went on to admit that I failed out of college and that I couldn’t go to this semester. They were shocked, ashamed, hurt, and most probably holding back their anger to a degree.</p>

<p>I expected shouting, but received little. My father was the one who was shouting out of anger almost immediately, but my mother controller hers and told him to calm down. He calmed down to a certain extent. They thought that I had ruined my life and understood that shouting wouldn’t help me. I explained to them that my college wouldn’t accept me and that housing was just an excuse to hide the truth. I told them the truth that I was going for an appointment with the dean to check out any options if at all and that I’d get a job before the spring semester to get things in order if I couldn’t get readmitted. I told them about my application to Americorps, but they refused to listen, telling me that job prospects for college dropouts are nearly nonexistent and that nobody would accept me to even serve as a cashier or waiter. I thought it was an exaggeration and still do, but I didn’t talk back because I was the one that screwed up.</p>

<p>My family agreed upon the appointment and they understood that it most probably wouldn’t work out as I had informed them during the trip that the warning was in June. I had procrastinated because I thought that I could get my life in order before the deadline. It obviously didn’t happen. They said that I should have talked to them, that I should I have confessed. They told me that taking forever didn’t make any sense. I told them that was what I was-- a walking generality due to procrastination and inaction.
After I arrived, I signed up to meet the dean and went up after about a half hour later. She talked to me privately and I assumed that there was nothing after the questions she asked and because it really was too late. I already knew that, but I still held a glimmer of hope. She told me that there was nothing and that perhaps getting a job or going to community college will help sort things out. She offered a list of community colleges that had transferable credits and I promptly asked for it. I looked over it and most of them required previous college transcripts, which would hurt me academically before I even started classes. I will tell you that my GPA was abysmal and that I had only passed one course in two semesters. I did have three AP credits, since I had passed the test and got a 5/5.</p>

<p>Yesterday on August 31, my parents, my older sibling, and I went to the local community college to find out if I could apply for the fall semester. We had planned to go yesterday because the other day, my parents had an important appointment in New York City with an old friend who has a local (I think) TV channel. It was extremely late for applications and we went mainly to get an answer. After the front desk, I accidentally got lost on my way to the registrar’s office and went inside a different office to ask where the registrar’s office was. I told her that I’d finished the online application and that it didn’t go through yet. She said that she could pull it up right away and that it didn’t matter if the people downstairs didn’t have it processed. Knowing that it was a special circumstance, she kindly pulled it up and lead me to the testing center for placement testing. I was given the forms and finished the electronic placement test (first time I did electronic version) in about an hour or so. Then, I was sent to counseling to set up my schedule and financial aid to find out my circumstances.</p>

<p>To the utter dismay of everyone involved, the financial aid office stated that if it’s not paid by 8PM on that day, the application would be void and deleted from the files. We were all shocked and I was about to give up as usual. My mother insisted on a payment plan and the person told us to go to the business office. Since it was a community college, late payments weren’t allowed and it had to be paid up front or through an online payment system that was operated by a third party, no exceptions allowed. Getting the money was a frantic race to get the rent one day early (since payment is the first of the month) and borrowing from a close acquaintance. I was surprised that one fellow who lied constantly and acts inconsiderate gave $50 early since my mother considered it to be an emergency. He obviously had more, but I do not fault him one bit as that was a pleasant surprise and it wasn’t necessary to pay early.</p>

<p>At about 6:30PM, the online payment system was completed and processed with confirmation emails. With 1 hour and 30 minutes left, they had amassed enough money to pay for over 50% of the tuition in the payment system. It would have been cheaper for early applicants, but as I said, it was all last minute.</p>

<p>As luck would have it everything had worked out. I was given special assistance to finish the application process at the community college and enough money was borrowed for me to attend today on September 1. I had asked my parents and older sibling to help me maintain discipline by waking me up early at around 6-6:30AM and help me exercise, eat regularly, and go to the community college. I told them that to change my habits, I needed help and that I had failed to change my habits by myself. They agreed about my circumstances and agreed to help me as well.</p>

<p>I woke up at 6:30AM sharp and got up to exercise less than a mile (pathetic, I know, but not enough time), ate breakfast, set up necessary supplies, and went to school. I arrived at my classroom before 8AM and finished in the afternoon. It was a great feeling to start anew and have a determined schedule that will hopefully change my life.</p>

<p>I thank you all for your input during my time of need. I earnestly thought that I would not get any useful advice, but I expected tons of insults. In the back of many of your minds, you probably consider my actions to be horrible, disgusting, and maybe even absolutely unforgivable. I understand, but it doesn’t matter to me because I was given excellent advice that helped push me to confess to my parents and accept going to the local community college.</p>

<p>As for the people suspecting that I am a ■■■■■ and a fraud, I thank you too for the insight you gave me in a wholly different light. It helped me understand that my actions were rash, irrational, and altogether ridiculous to many. I didn’t expect it to be too out of the ordinary, but I guess I didn’t judge myself objectively enough.</p>

<p>I will answer any other questions if anyone has any. I feel that I have answered most in my long update.</p>

<p>Thank you all again for the considerable support. I do not think I would have gotten such support elsewhere in the short amount of time I had. This is the turning point in my life.</p>

<p>If I fail once more, I’ll pay back the community college costs through labor work or whatever else job I can get.</p>

<p>Good luck and I hope you make the most of this opportunity.</p>

<p>Urgent,</p>

<p>I am so glad you are getting a fresh start. I am so glad your family is supporting you in your effort to turn over a new leaf. Please don’t be offended if they sometimes lean on you a little too heavily…it’s obviously going to take a lot to earn back their trust. But in the same vein, don’t be too hard on yourself…you are on a better path now, and all you need to do is take it one baby step at a time. Take things one hour at a time if you have to until you establish a new pattern of behavior–and if this takes a year, then it takes a year. Each step you take on your new path will make your old track record less relevant…and when you are ready, academically and personally, then you will get where you are meant to go. Don’t be afraid to take advantage of all the resources you can find that might benefit you… counseling, study skills coaching, tutoring, whatever you need.</p>

<p>Good luck! There are a lot of people on your side.</p>

<p>It appears like everything lined up perfectly on August 31…the right people were there at the right time and things just seemed to be in your favor. I hope you will take this as an omen that maybe this is just where you need to be at this time in your life. I wish you all the best and please keep us updated during the semester. Stick to your schedule and take everything a step at a time. Go through your syllabi and arrange a weekly calendar with your reading assignments so that you are staying on top of things. How many credits did you register for and how many days will you be attending classes?</p>

<p>This is such great news! Make sure you stick to your plans and make the most of this fresh start. Best wishes to you.</p>

<p>By the way, I never thought any of the things you expected folks to think about you. There is much to learn from our failures … the key is how you respond when challenge is before you. You have come clean & are on your way to rebuilding your life. You have learned some very valuable lessons, and the struggle will help build character.</p>

<p>You have to start telling the truth now. As you found out, once you start lying it just gets worse. I do think it is a shame that you told your parents you weren’t ready for college and they made you go anyway. Although did they really threaten to kick you out or did they tell you that you would have to get a job and pay rent to them or get out? In any case, your parent’s forcefulness is not a reason to lie. </p>

<p>When both of our children were in high school we told them that they had three choices upon high school graduation. 1. Go to college, keep good grades and we will pay. 2. Get a job and either pay us rent or move out. 3. Join the military.</p>

<p>I apologize for not reading the whole thread, but if it has not been mentioned, it is possible that you have ADD. You may not be lazy, just have a mind that is smart but has trouble with staying focused and organized. The good news is that there is medication to help with this. </p>

<p>I am happy that you have a second chance. Just listen to your mother when she tells you to get up, study, etc. Regularly tell her thank you for helping you. It will do a lot for her and your relationship. This is from a mother with a son who went through something similar.</p>

<p>I am happy to read everything is working out for you so far. You made some poor choices…but then you made some good ones. </p>

<p>At least you did not do anything harmful to your health or irrevocable. Hang in there…soon your new habits will be habitual! :)</p>

<p>Part of maturing into adulthood is realizing that mistakes happen, sometimes of our own doing. Fix them to the best of your ability, move on and learn from them. Sometimes the path is easy, sometimes not. You have taken the first steps, and that is the most important thing.</p>

<p>Best of luck to you!</p>