<p>UPDATE:
I feel that it’s necessary to provide an informative update based on the feedback I’ve received here that are all generally insightful.</p>
<p>I searched positions in Americorps and applied with the online forms provided and gave two references. It went through fine and I thought it would provide me with opportunities, but currently as of September 1, I haven’t received any replies other than confirmation of emails sent to my references of which I doubt they’d provide enough information for the jobs I applied for (environmental, childcare, juvenile care, tutoring). Writing it down now seems hypocritical as I’m not that disciplined of an individual to even be qualified at juvenile care. At the time, it seemed a better option because of all the people that are in low-income districts, I wish the children better conditions than their parents and/or adults. After seeing parents waste money on cable TV, alcohol, cigarettes, and sometimes internet, all the while their children aren’t provided healthy foods or activities, it leaves a lasting mark that never leaves you. On a different light, I did relatively well in high school in a highly ranked (in my state) public high school. Of course, public education up to high school is pretty much a joke anyways.</p>
<p>I really did think that I was going to get kicked out. So, as busdriver11 advised, I made plans by 11:05AM on August 30, the day of the appointment, and since it was urgent and could get ugly, I made up plans from A to G. I will state that some of the plans entailed me getting kicked out running home to get my bicycle and packed backpack with essential supplies to trek my way through nearest couch through couchsurfing ([CouchSurfing</a> - Participate in Creating a Better World, One Couch At A Time](<a href=“http://www.couchsurfing.org/]CouchSurfing”>http://www.couchsurfing.org/)), visit an old friend’s house (not a friend anymore, but parents are nice individuals), or if need be to go to the nearest homeless shelter or church. I’ve finally accepted that I was being rash and that I’m more impulsive and irrational than I previously thought because I had planned to bike or somehow get to Texas for the last thing I held onto which was my childhood dream.</p>
<p>With all that aside, I finally told my parents and my older sibling who was going to explain to housing for an exception (yeah, I ****ed up big time) inside the car shortly after 11AM right after I’d finished typing up my plans and bike routes on my laptop. As we drove off the driveway and headed around the corner, I told them I had something important to tell them. They were humored by my serious response for which they thought would be nothing of that sort. I repeated that it was very serious and that it’s important. I then went on to admit that I failed out of college and that I couldn’t go to this semester. They were shocked, ashamed, hurt, and most probably holding back their anger to a degree.</p>
<p>I expected shouting, but received little. My father was the one who was shouting out of anger almost immediately, but my mother controller hers and told him to calm down. He calmed down to a certain extent. They thought that I had ruined my life and understood that shouting wouldn’t help me. I explained to them that my college wouldn’t accept me and that housing was just an excuse to hide the truth. I told them the truth that I was going for an appointment with the dean to check out any options if at all and that I’d get a job before the spring semester to get things in order if I couldn’t get readmitted. I told them about my application to Americorps, but they refused to listen, telling me that job prospects for college dropouts are nearly nonexistent and that nobody would accept me to even serve as a cashier or waiter. I thought it was an exaggeration and still do, but I didn’t talk back because I was the one that screwed up.</p>
<p>My family agreed upon the appointment and they understood that it most probably wouldn’t work out as I had informed them during the trip that the warning was in June. I had procrastinated because I thought that I could get my life in order before the deadline. It obviously didn’t happen. They said that I should have talked to them, that I should I have confessed. They told me that taking forever didn’t make any sense. I told them that was what I was-- a walking generality due to procrastination and inaction.
After I arrived, I signed up to meet the dean and went up after about a half hour later. She talked to me privately and I assumed that there was nothing after the questions she asked and because it really was too late. I already knew that, but I still held a glimmer of hope. She told me that there was nothing and that perhaps getting a job or going to community college will help sort things out. She offered a list of community colleges that had transferable credits and I promptly asked for it. I looked over it and most of them required previous college transcripts, which would hurt me academically before I even started classes. I will tell you that my GPA was abysmal and that I had only passed one course in two semesters. I did have three AP credits, since I had passed the test and got a 5/5.</p>
<p>Yesterday on August 31, my parents, my older sibling, and I went to the local community college to find out if I could apply for the fall semester. We had planned to go yesterday because the other day, my parents had an important appointment in New York City with an old friend who has a local (I think) TV channel. It was extremely late for applications and we went mainly to get an answer. After the front desk, I accidentally got lost on my way to the registrar’s office and went inside a different office to ask where the registrar’s office was. I told her that I’d finished the online application and that it didn’t go through yet. She said that she could pull it up right away and that it didn’t matter if the people downstairs didn’t have it processed. Knowing that it was a special circumstance, she kindly pulled it up and lead me to the testing center for placement testing. I was given the forms and finished the electronic placement test (first time I did electronic version) in about an hour or so. Then, I was sent to counseling to set up my schedule and financial aid to find out my circumstances.</p>
<p>To the utter dismay of everyone involved, the financial aid office stated that if it’s not paid by 8PM on that day, the application would be void and deleted from the files. We were all shocked and I was about to give up as usual. My mother insisted on a payment plan and the person told us to go to the business office. Since it was a community college, late payments weren’t allowed and it had to be paid up front or through an online payment system that was operated by a third party, no exceptions allowed. Getting the money was a frantic race to get the rent one day early (since payment is the first of the month) and borrowing from a close acquaintance. I was surprised that one fellow who lied constantly and acts inconsiderate gave $50 early since my mother considered it to be an emergency. He obviously had more, but I do not fault him one bit as that was a pleasant surprise and it wasn’t necessary to pay early.</p>
<p>At about 6:30PM, the online payment system was completed and processed with confirmation emails. With 1 hour and 30 minutes left, they had amassed enough money to pay for over 50% of the tuition in the payment system. It would have been cheaper for early applicants, but as I said, it was all last minute.</p>
<p>As luck would have it everything had worked out. I was given special assistance to finish the application process at the community college and enough money was borrowed for me to attend today on September 1. I had asked my parents and older sibling to help me maintain discipline by waking me up early at around 6-6:30AM and help me exercise, eat regularly, and go to the community college. I told them that to change my habits, I needed help and that I had failed to change my habits by myself. They agreed about my circumstances and agreed to help me as well.</p>
<p>I woke up at 6:30AM sharp and got up to exercise less than a mile (pathetic, I know, but not enough time), ate breakfast, set up necessary supplies, and went to school. I arrived at my classroom before 8AM and finished in the afternoon. It was a great feeling to start anew and have a determined schedule that will hopefully change my life.</p>
<p>I thank you all for your input during my time of need. I earnestly thought that I would not get any useful advice, but I expected tons of insults. In the back of many of your minds, you probably consider my actions to be horrible, disgusting, and maybe even absolutely unforgivable. I understand, but it doesn’t matter to me because I was given excellent advice that helped push me to confess to my parents and accept going to the local community college.</p>
<p>As for the people suspecting that I am a ■■■■■ and a fraud, I thank you too for the insight you gave me in a wholly different light. It helped me understand that my actions were rash, irrational, and altogether ridiculous to many. I didn’t expect it to be too out of the ordinary, but I guess I didn’t judge myself objectively enough.</p>
<p>I will answer any other questions if anyone has any. I feel that I have answered most in my long update.</p>
<p>Thank you all again for the considerable support. I do not think I would have gotten such support elsewhere in the short amount of time I had. This is the turning point in my life.</p>
<p>If I fail once more, I’ll pay back the community college costs through labor work or whatever else job I can get.</p>