Hi so I came from a small school so I thought it would be a good idea to go to a small college as well. So I am attending the University of Redlands. And I hate it here so far.
The people here seem horrible. Nobody cares about the classes. Everybody just trashes on the professors like it’s their fault they’re failing. Everybody seems to care less than in high school. All anybody ever cares about it going to parties and getting drunk and high. And I personally don’t want to do either. It’s crazy! I see people walking around campus smoking and drinking underage and no one seems to care. Is this normal?
I’ve tried to make friends but everyone I’ve met so far just seems so shallow. They all just want to party. There aren’t many clubs here either. There’s some academic clubs but none that I’m actually interested in. I just want there to be a club for people who just want to hang out…sober.
Lastly, I should say I have a girlfriend. I love her a lot and we both happened to go to the same college. But she feels lonely when I go somewhere without her because she also hasn’t made friends.
I’m so sorry, @ratthew142! I don’t know much about U of R. You must have had reasons for choosing it besides size. What were they?
Looking it up on Niche the SAT range is on the lower end, so the average student was not a strongly academic person in high school - you might be seeing that reflected in the attitudes. You have a couple choices now. First, it is relatively early, give it time. Take hard classes - other people who care about school will be in them. Is there an activity you enjoy (games, sports, outdoors)? Create your own club, post flyers, the people who share your interest will appear. Trust me, they are out there, even at a small school, and might be feeling as lonely as you.
If you truly decide that U of R is the wrong fit for you, you should be hustling now to identify a transfer school, and this time do more research for fit. Pay attention to the fact that small schools often have a less diverse group of students - at a large school you can always find someone who shares your goals and interests.
I feel as if there is a little information missing involving the girlfriend. Were you two together in high school? Did you both choose this school together? Could you have gone to a more academic school but chose Redlands because this was where she was going?
I feel as if I’m reading between the lines that you are at this school due to the girlfriend so you are conflicted about moving on or staying with her. Am I off base here? If this is the case then you have two issues to sort out. You and you alone at this school or making the best of the school which includes her at the moment.
I don’t know much about U of Redlands and typically I don’t suggest students transfer but my sense is that you should consider it. Did you have other options?
What were your HS stats?
Wat classes are you currently taking and what grades are you getting?
Whet are you hoping to major in?
Did you apply anywhere else?
What’s your parents’ budget for college?
Start a board game club. The sober people will come. Your girlfriend can be part of it too.
Meanwhile, you love your girlfriend, but if you go out without her, she is lonely. Where do you go? Why isn’t she coming along?
Your girlfriend is responsible for her own happiness. It seems as though you are holding yourself back from having fun because of her. I agree that we aren’t getting enough of the story here. It also sounds as though you might be at the wrong place, but I am very sure that not everyone is partying there.