I need a shoulder...not sure S will ever be ready for college

<p>From the MTA study…</p>

<p>In addition, Owens and colleagues14 found that only 62% of the patients in the best outcome groups (medication management or combined treatment) had an excellent response (defined as reaching normal or near-normal status) compared with 30% of those who received behavior management or community care. In other words, even in the groups with the most favorable outcomes, more than one third of patients did not achieve an excellent response. This sobering fact is important to keep in mind when considering the prognosis for those who have ADHD.</p>

<pre><code>* Group A (low initial ADHD severity, low parental depression) had 73% excellent responders.

  • Group B (low initial ADHD severity, high parental depression) had 59% excellent responders.
  • Group C (high initial ADHD severity and high IQ, high parental depression) had 48% excellent responders.
  • Group D (high initial ADHD severity, low parental depression) had 48% excellent responders.
  • Group E (high initial ADHD severity and low IQ, high parental depression) had 10% excellent responders.
    </code></pre>

<p>OP-I could have written your post. Some days I wish we were in the Midwest where you can still go to the state flagship.</p>

<p>In our house, we have the superstar student first child and Mr. BigFun for the second child. Mr. BigFun is sure nice to be around. Perhaps that is a good thing…</p>

<p>My sympathies! D1 (college sophomore) was a very high-achieving student. Her sis, D2 (high-school junior) is the B to B+ student, but taking some hard classes (2 APS, but not 5 or more APs, like many of the 2012ers seem to be doing). She is not over-amped either on the ECs. And yes, her grades will be A-, A- , A- , B, C, etc going into finals, which turn the A- into B+s. She needs to fine-tune her studying, but she is putting in the effort for sure. B students are still solid students!!</p>

<p>I do look at all the B threads (colleges for 3.3-3.6, colleges for 3.0-3.3 etc). They give me hope. I am seeing much maturity in the way she is preparing for her studies, and in how she handles herself, so I do think she will be ready for a 4-year-college. This kid is a type-B person in a type-A world, she is kind, thoughtful, honest, and hard-working. It is hard, not just on this website, but in many schools where kids seem to get the message that if they do not get straight-As or close to it, they do not rate and they are worthless. (Ok, in my state, you do need the straight-As or close to get into one of the flagship Unis). I am also ok with community college for two years if that is what she decides she wants to do.</p>

<p>I don’t care what the manuals or professionals say. My son is borderline ADHD. He’s been on a low dose medication for almost three years. We’ve had to bump the dose as he’s grown but for the most part his teachers did not ‘see’ ADHD at first glance. MOF, I had more than a couple of them completely scoff at the notion. It was only after they saw the difference of him medicated and not did they admit that he has ADHD and is not merely an undisciplined student and disrespectful kid.</p>

<p>Our D went to CC right after JR year in HS (after being forced to leave her HS) & after her 1st semester at CC, took it upon her self to apply to transfer to her dream competitive U. The only thing we did was provide the credit card to pay for the app fee–no nagging or reminders. She was very motivated but afterwards faltered because she didn’t hear back & figured they didn’t want her. Her grades 2nd semester were not as good as she had hoped and she never did apply as a transfer to any other Us (missed the deadlines & got distracted). She was surprised to get a letter in late July accepting her for January after she had completed her 3rd semester of CC, so yes, dreams can come true.</p>

<p>CC was a very good place to boost her confidence, help get better organizational & time management skills, more individualized attention (most classes had only 20-30 students & same instructors at flagship U). We were happy to have her save $$$ going to CC while she got all of that down & had our support & free meals. She left for her dream U with great confidence and a lot of credits from courses she had completed at CC. The transition was much smoother than if she had left any earlier – she agreed that she hadn’t been ready any sooner than when she started at the U. Fast forward a year later–she’s doing great, has been admitted to the major of her dreams (after applying 3 times–guess 3rd time is a charm) and will graduate with her HS peers & buddies. It has been a challenging road but she & we have learned a lot & gotten stronger through this journey.</p>

<p>CC is also a great place for folks to explore possible passions & try out different careers. They have a lot more practical, hands on type courses and instructors who often have more “real world” experience than Us. There are many fields there, including healthcare, paralegal, art, film, and others.</p>

<p>Great success stories, thank you! As for S having ADHD, we decided not to go the meds route, mainly because we figured at some point he will be on his own, and he will have to survive. He does have some auditory processing issues (I suspect I do too, although I never really thought about it until we learned about his. It’s amazing what you learn about yourself when things surface in the gene pool of your children.)</p>

<p>S can get B’s/C’s on his own, and A’s with intervention (that being tutoring mixed with a hefty dose of intrinsic motivation), although those are rare. He is saying right now he wants to go to CC, but we still want him to take the SAT and apply to 4-yr schools, in case he changes his mind later on. Some of the kids in his immediate peer group will be headed to 4-yr schools (including one kid whom I had no idea was a math whiz-- plans to take AP Calc BC next yr), so I am thinking that this fall when it comes time to apply, some of the 4-yr college fairy dust might fly off his peers and land on him. ;)</p>

<p>Meanwhile, I have to say I am so encouraged by the wonderful success stories, thank you!</p>

<p>Our son was in this league too in HS. He would not take an honors class to save his soul, just said he “didn’t want to work that hard” and that HS wasn’t important. All teacher’s comments on reprt cards said “not working to potential”. Despite this, he knew he wanted a professional lifestyle. He completed his first 2 years at community college and will graduate from one of our state universities in May. His GPA throughout these 4 years has been 3.7 - 3.8. We have no complaints. He is graduating without debt and looking at masters programs for speech therapy. He said that Community was the best decison in his life. I agree, he matured, didn’t party and went to all his classes. What more could we ask for?</p>

<p>My ADHD D is back home after less than one semester away. I think it was just too much at once. She said she loved it, but couldn’t wake up for class, so quit going to the early-morning classes. Now she is living at home and going to our local college. That has been really hard for her. I wish we would have started college while living at home. It would have given her a nice goal to work towards. Let him prove himself at the community college first.</p>

<p>Wow icebat, great story! (My S isn’t taking any honors or AP either, and won’t.) I would love it if S followed a similar path. </p>

<p>One thing that seems to be working is that we’ve tied his getting a drivers license to getting a 3.0 for the semester. When I started this thread, I was so distressed over (what I thought were) S’s semester grades. Just seemed so hopeless. But his final grades were posted today-- 2 A’s, 3 B’s, 1 C (math). So overall a 3.16! I never thought I would see it. He is so determined to get his license and a car (he’s saving for that), so I am so hoping he’s starting to see that hard work does pay off. Not the “I want to get good grades so I have a better chance of getting into college” but rather “I want to get good grades so I can get my license” but whatever works, I guess. For now.</p>

<p>I’m glad that his grades were better than expected! It looks like you found a good motivator. Junior year is really important, so as you said, whatever works.</p>

<p>My friend’s little brother just graduated high school this past Spring after his sixth or seventh year there. At some point he had moved out of the regular public high school and into the alternative ed school. He had no LDs or anything like that, he just wasn’t interested. No one thought he would ever graduate high school. After taking summer and fall off of school this past year to work, he realized he’s really bored without school and that he wants to go back and get a degree so he can get a good job. So he’s started at our local CC. It’s only his first semester so it’s too soon to tell if he’ll be successful, but he is really excited about school and seems to really be enjoying his classes and even his homework. Some kids just grow on their own schedule. Right now, any motivation is good motivation, and any progress forward is good progress. You just have to be patient and trust that you raised him well enough for him to find his way when he is ready.</p>

<p>Thanks for that Emahee!</p>

<p>I don’t want to hijack this thread, and I thought about starting another thread; however, even though my not-so-motivated-in-school son doesn’t get the grades he could, he does some other things that are pretty cool.</p>

<p>This week, we have had some snow in Maryland and it is really good packing snow this time. DS and his friends built a mound about waist-high to get a start for a snowboard run. It is difficult to appreciate without seeing it, but the kids climb up on the mound, slide down a steep, short hill, slide up over the driveway, down into the yard between some trees, turn and go down into the woods over another little jump. After he had made the run several times (and it was light again this morning), he came in and got my camera and filmed the run holding the camera himself. I am sure I will get to see it very soon.</p>

<p>So, even though the grades aren’t exactly what I would like to see, and I wonder myself how the college years will go, I admire some of the work he does when he is motivated.</p>

<p>I had a friend who had a master’s and her H had a college degree. They saw all their kids as candidates for college. They struggles with their oldest son - sent him to a 4-year, then to a Junior College, then back to a 4-year. He worked throughout and they helped, paid out and pushed. I can’t remember how many times he changed his major. After 7 years and no degree, he finally went into the military and is VERY happy. They wasted all that time, energy and money on pushing their son to do something he really was not cut out to do. Sit down and really listen to your son. Some boys need more time to get their lives in order and many who struggled before can grow with maturity. My friend’s son is now talking about completing college, which he hated before. His experience in the military is really helping him.</p>

<p>You know, it is very easy to get a warped perspective from hanging out with other bragging parents and/or many of the postings in these forums. Pretty soon, you start to think that getting into a so-called “2nd Tier” college represents a total failure and that your kid will never amount to anything. </p>

<p>Both of my kids were late bloomers who had GPAs in the low 3s. They both truly bloomed in college and became quite successful, academically. No, they were never HYPSM material, nor AWSMB (Amherst/Williams/Swarthmore/Middlebury/Bowdoin) material, but they thrived and will turn out just fine.</p>

<p>For another perspective, I’d suggest reading, “Colleges That Change Lives”, by Loren Pope.
[Colleges</a> That Change Lives | Changing Lives, One Student at a Time](<a href=“http://www.ctcl.org/]Colleges”>http://www.ctcl.org/)</p>

<p>^^What’s I’m beginning to see with my S is that finding something that lights a fire under his behind can get him academically pumped. Up till this point, there wasn’t anything that could light that fire. Getting good grades for the sake of feeling good about oneself, feeling successful, wasn’t enough. He never saw school as a stepping stone to his future, but rather just an annoyance that had to be endured. He sees school now as a stepping stone to at least getting his license and a car, but I’m hoping over time that he’ll begin to see it as a path to success in life.</p>

<p>Definitely a late bloomer.</p>

<p>This could have been my post also.</p>

<p>Elder son was a class topper, wanted to get to a top 10 school and landed in his dream school CalTech. </p>

<p>S2 is a sophomore in HS and possibly brighter than his brother. He has ADHD and is hovering around a 3.0 GPA. Every teacher tell us that he is not working to potential, is disorganized, does not follow instructions etc. Medications suppress his appetite and sleep and he does not take them. He is bored in class and questions how learning “which general fought which revolutionary war battle” is going to be of any use to him in the future. </p>

<p>The only thing that interests him is his guitar and unfortunately he does not have the grades or the EC’s that will get him to a good institution. He wants to go to for profit vocational school like Musicians Institute as they have no minimum admission criteria. His teachers are shocked. One teacher said “We had one student go to Yale last year and your son is brighter than her, make him aim higher”.</p>

<p>We have no idea how to do that. We even changed schools so that S2 does not go the school that S1 went to so that he does not feel we are comparing him to his brother. S2 is a magnet school which is very difficult to get into. We have told S2 we will change schools if the magnet school curriculum is not what he wants but he is not prepared for that either. He seems satisfied with B’s and C’s and rationalizes that it really does not matter. He does not seem to think that there is anything he can do about grades and refuses to go to a ADHD coach when offered.</p>

<p>oh god, ADD…</p>

<p>can someone provide me a link to the MTA study discussed in post 41</p>

<p>From the MTA study…</p>

<p>In addition, Owens and colleagues14 found that only 62% of the patients in the best outcome groups (medication management or combined treatment) had an excellent response (defined as reaching normal or near-normal status) compared with 30% of those who re</p>

<p>“can someone provide me a link to the MTA study discussed in post 41”</p>

<p><a href=“Findings from the NIMH Multimodal Treatment Study of ADHD (MTA): implications and applications for primary care providers - PubMed”>Findings from the NIMH Multimodal Treatment Study of ADHD (MTA): implications and applications for primary care providers - PubMed;

<p>This link contains some editorial, and is not the original publication.</p>

<p>[Results</a> from the largest treatment study of ADHD ever conducted](<a href=“http://www.helpforadd.com/mta-study/]Results”>http://www.helpforadd.com/mta-study/)</p>

<p>"SUMMARY AND IMPLICATIONS </p>

<p>There is a LOT here to digest. Before trying to pull together what seem to me to be some of the fundamentally important implications of this study, it is important to note that many additional papers will be emerging from this work. In particular, although the children in this study are no longer receiving their treatment as part of the study, they do continue to be followed. This will enable the researchers to examine the sustained impact of different treatments beyond the 14 month outcome data that were presented in this initial paper. Thus, it is certainly possible that results based on 2 or 3 year outcomes may look somewhat different from what was found after 14 months. </p>

<p>Several other caveats are important to note. First, in this study children with the inattentive subtype of ADHD were specifically excluded. Thus, these results can not be generalized to children with this subtype of ADHD. …"</p>

<p>3 year follow-up, link to the actual abstract.
<a href=“3-year follow-up of the NIMH MTA study - PubMed”>3-year follow-up of the NIMH MTA study - PubMed;