This seems to me a clear case in which parents are trying to force a child to go to a school of THEIR choosing. OP does not want to go to the parent choice school. OP signed the Common App to verify the info on the app is true, but it isn’t if OP is being forced to apply. I don’t view it as going behind the parents’ back if OP states truthfully to either a counselor or the admissions rep that he/she doesn’t want to attend that college.
OP makes it clear that the financial aspect isn’t the issue. We all see posts on this site regularly from students whose parents force them to apply to colleges they don’t want to attend. As long as OP is 100% clear that the money aspect (or some medical condition, family crisis, etc…) is not the issue, OP should take action to ensure he/she is denied. Maybe the parents will be angry if they find out. I probably would be, if I am honest. But I would stop and think about what my motives were, versus my kid’s motives. Then I would get over it. It seems that this student is mature and responsible. Time for the parents to let him spread his wings.
@austinmshauri , what is all that “Any kid who tanks their GPA” stuff? What are you talking about here?
I was explicitly referring to the relationship between the GC and the college adcom, and how the GC has both the right and responsibility to tell them the truth if it is known.
I don’t know what “tanking a GPA” even is. Are you suggesting that someone would fail out on purpose after they agreed to go? Who would do that? Your comment makes no sense and has no context to the OP, in my opinion, as he has not stated he would fail on purpose or even enrolled anywhere yet.
Can we try and be helpful? Isn’t that the point here?
@HRSMom, I apologize for being so abrupt. That could have been phrased better. I realize both you and Linda stressed having affordable options, but I think it’s very easy for students to skip over what they don’t want to see and concentrate only on the parts they want. I should have said “unless your parents can also be full pay,” tread carefully.
It concerns me that the student expects to be paying a lot of the costs from their full-time job, scholarships, and grants. They haven’t been accepted to the 2nd college yet, so unless the college offers guaranteed merit we don’t really know that it’s affordable. I hope it is.
Postmodern, I was simply responding to your direct comment to me. When you said sending a kid to a school they don’t want to be at is “a recipe for failure,” I assumed you were talking about grades. I apologize for not understanding your question, but I agree it probably has no bearing on the OP who will likely do well wherever s/he ends up.
@austinmshauri
Understood. I would also say “unless your parents can and want to be full pay”…maybe they can pay but prefer the less expensive option, which is their right.
I would also recommend being honest, as the behind the back stuff is not a great idea when you are trying to be an adult, and when parents are paying. I’m not sure why they will insist on school A over B. OP: why do you think they will make you pick this school if you get in?
@marvin100 - I have no way of knowing if the student was the one to come clean or not. It’s certainly possible that the AdCom directed them back to their son.
Of course the overwhelming best advice is to talk with your parents honestly. You have said this is not an option. I accept this at face value because I do not know your situation. In that case, the second best option is to ask/reflect on the objectionable school: is it truly some place where you will be unhappy (conversely, is the school to which you have been accepted your favorite, “best” choice)? Realize that anyone’s preferences can change in a span of a few months. Assuming that (1) talking to parents is out, (2) accepted school is the ideal place for you, then yes, (3) tell the guidance counselor to contact the school and/or the regional representative. If the GC won’t (they are adults too and can often refuse to listen to the “younger”), then you need to contact someone else directly. Did you have an interview? Tell them. Do you know the regional admissions officer? Tell them. I am fundamentally uncomfortable telling you to go behind your parents’ back, but I get that it can be the only option sometimes.
Email the regional rep and tell him/her that you would like to be denied because your parents forced you to apply. Tell them to keep this confidential. Done
I would not send an email as that could be traced back. If I was going to contact an adcom and ask to be denied, I would do it by phone - a pay phone or a burner phone that could not be traced, which I would buy at a cheap place that doesn’t have surveillance cameras. I would wear opposite gender clothing and a hoodie or a hijab and pay in non-sequential bills, while wearing gloves and one of those masks people wear so they don’t get flu germs. I would treat this as a truly confidential operation befitting of Seal Team 6.**
As for the adcom that may have told the parents, perhaps that student signed the FERPA portion allowing the parents full access to their info? My kids all did. It was a requirement for me to pay their tuition.
However, I urge the OP to really think about why they don’t want to attend the parents’ choice. Is the major OP wants not available, is the student make up not OP’s preferred type, is it too Greek or not Greek enough and the like? If the only reason OP doesn’t want to go is because mom and dad want it, I would urge OP to reconsider.
@huh12huh I never thought I’d say congrats to a student who DIDN’T get accepted somewhere- but congrats! I’m glad you don’t have to go to a school that you don’t want to attend.
Is DC dependent child? If so, then no- a parent isn’t legally obligated to pay for whatever school and/or major a child wants. That would be a little crazy- say there is an in-state school that’s $25,000 a year and a child wants an out of state school at $70,000 a year. Why should parents be forced to pay for that? Once you turn 18, you’re an adult. Whatever your parents pay for after age 18 is kind of frosting on the cake, right?
You all are making me sound a little too crazy… I did not want to go to the school that my parents were so insistant I go too because of family heritage, reputation, etc. However, I did not get in. I am not forcing them to pay for anything! They are more than happy to still send me to the school I am going too now. No lawsuits going on here. lol.
I wonder whether the school that you did not want to go to somehow got the hint. Regardless, congratulations to OP for a good outcome, and for being able to go where you want go.
Keep up with the homework, have some fun, and best wishes!