<p>I have a problem. I need all the money I can get from scholarships etc. for college.</p>
<p>I'm also gay, but I'm not out to anyone at all. (waiting for college, I'll be completely out to everyone but my parents probably..)</p>
<p>So I want to apply for scholarships from gay organizations, but I'm afraid my parents will obviously find out, since I got a scholarship from them.</p>
<p>Is there anyway for me to get a scholarship without my parents knowing who it came from?</p>
<p>I guess I would seek out a variety of scholarships- from Republican/Conservative organization, gay organizations, religious ones, etc. and just keep them guessing.</p>
<p>But really, I would just tell my parents. They probably already know/suspect, and are there really still parents who would ‘disown’ their kids if they gay???</p>
<p>You just gave me an idea…</p>
<p>I’m straight by the way.</p>
<p>I’m not your stereotypical high-pitched gay guy. Really I act more straight than a lot of my straight friends.</p>
<p>The only evidence they would have is that I haven’t dated anyone seriously, but again, a lot of my straight guy friends haven’t either.</p>
<p>And yes, there are still people who will disown their kids if they were gay. Even if it doesn’t come to that, your relationship with them is forever changed (in either a negative or positive way, and in my case it will probably be the former).</p>
<p>You would need to ask the organization granting the scholarships. They will tell you what the procedure is for awarding the money, also there would be tax implications – which my not matter depending on whether or not you do your own taxes.</p>
<p>But mostly, it just feels a little opportunistic. If you are not open about your sexual orientation, then how would a gay organization know if you’re even actually gay? Couldn’t hetero students just say “I’m gay, but no one knows and I don’t want anyone to know. Can this be kept a secret?”</p>
<p>Not to mention that a gay organization would probably be less inclined to award money to a student who has not had to deal with any of the potential issues that go with being gay because no one knows they’re gay. Wouldn’t they rather direct that money to someone who’s taken the lumps and stands up anyway?</p>
<p>Which is not to say that people have no strong reasons to keep that information secret, but you’d need to make the case for why that is, I would think.</p>
<p>I guess it just depends on the organizations granting such scholarships. You should inquire with them because if your status would become public as the result of getting a scholarship, you should know that ahead of time.</p>
<p>Book, take this for what it’s worth- but living such a secret from your parents is terrible for you. I hope that you can come out to them and be honest, it takes a lot of energy to live a lie. They may be angry or wierded out at first (no parent wants to think of their kids having any kind of sex) but in the long run, unless they’re pathological, they will accept and of course continue to love you! good luck!</p>
<p>That’s the thing, I’m ready to be out to everyone but my family. I’m planning on completely out completely in college, joining organizations, political groups/awareness, dating etc. on campus.</p>
<p>I just don’t want to risk being thrown on the streets with less than a year left of having to live with them, you know?</p>
<p>I realize the whole hetero thing, but I don’t really see myself in having a choice. Should I just suck it up and work more, to make up for the couple of thousand dollars I could lose?</p>
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<p>I completely understand, I thought the exact same thing, till I actually came out (mom was awesome).</p>
<p>Think about it this way. If they asked you what clubs and stuff you are in college, and you couldn;t tell them about the gay stuff, would you be okay with that? I’m genuinely asking. If you would, then I don’t think you should apply for the scholarship. There’s only so much you can hide.</p>
<p>If you aren’t ready to come out to them, I wouldn’t bother with the scholarship. First of all, a lot of times outside scholarships, or big parts of them, get deducted from financial aid you’d get already. If you think there’s a chance that it could endanger the amount of money you get from your parents, then on a practical level, it probably makes sense to go for the parents’ money first. </p>
<p>Only you know your parents and how much of a risk it is to tell them about being gay. But it’s possible that if they love you, they already know. It’s always going to be hard to tell them for the first time, so it’s up to you when to do that. </p>
<p>If your college is anything like my son’s college, you will be VERY happy to be there and feel very comfortable being out and gay. Do what you have to do to get there!</p>
<p>Is the scholarship only for students entering college? If not, just apply for them in in the next few and try to earn some money in a different way for now. Good luck telling them!</p>
<p>Tell the organizations about your concerns, and ask how they handle awarding the scholarships. I’m sure that they’ve heard from others who are in the closet, and the organizations probably have a discrete way of making the awards so that family, etc. wouldn’t know.</p>
<p>Don’t they just send the money to the college?</p>
<p>Or, might they send mail to your house?</p>
<p>Not that it’s any of OUR business, but…if something did “leak”…that could be an “opener” - a hint - a start - for your parents to start wondering and getting used to the idea. Far be it from anyone here to tell you if/when you decide to come out. </p>
<p>What are the “requirements” for the scholly? Surely they don’t say “must be gay and out”, right? I second Northstar…ask them about their procedure. The purpose for giving a scholarship is often to get “brownie points” (companies want to advertise their philanthropy). If you say “but you can’t use my name”…that might actually prohibit you from receiving the monies. Guess it could go either way. Make a phone call or e-mail. Luck to ya.</p>