I need some objective advice from other parents

Parents Forum
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<p>Sorry it’s so long....feel free to drop to the **** if you don't need the background ;-)</p>

<p>Some background:
D has already applied to all her schools and has acceptances into all but one of her top choices. She won’t know about that school until Dec/Jan, but more than likely will be deferred (applied EA), requiring teacher/guidance recs, essays, etc. I should note that even if she does get in, she is not sure it would be THE choice…it is the best school, ranking-wise, she applied to…just maybe not the best fit for her. She’s a 3.3ish student who doesn’t like school, but loves learning so we don’t push her too much…I want her to continue to love to learn. She’d much rather be playing an instrument or a sport or about anything else than reading a book....she is a visual/audible/hands-on learner - does not learn well just reading about something.</p>

<p>The issue:
She is in a magnet program and therefore required to take certain classes. She REALLY struggles with the lit classes. Made a C in Honors Lit last year – she does admit she could have tried a bit harder, but doubts she would have made much more than a low B. She has to take AP lit next semester and she is really stressing about it – TONS of reading! (“what if I don’t pass and can’t graduate?”, “I don’t want to drop [sport] my SENIOR year”, “My friends in it now are telling me they are getting only 2 or 3 hours sleep some nights”, etc…)</p>

<p>****She wants to drop the magnet program so she can take an easier lit class AND, I'm guessing, so she won't have to complete her Senior Project (even though she has put TONS of work into it already). H is supportive, doesn’t want her to have a bad last semester. I’m for staying in magnet and pushing herself a bit. I already offered to read all the books along with her for support and any help I can provide. D says if we force her to stay in magnet, she’ll drop sport and then cries for a while.</p>

<p>I talked with her guidance counselor; her comment was she is only taking two APs next semester (Lit and Comp Sci) and two EASY classes so it shouldn’t be that bad. Plus, she’ll be taking lit her first semester in college as well as other harder classes, being involved in ECs, living on own, etc. She also said that she has not had any parents or students come in who were worried about grades in that class this semester, nor has the teacher asked her to talk with any students who are borderline. Also, if she drops magnet, she will have to change counselors and any rec she may need will come from someone who really doesn’t know her at all.</p>

<p>D asked me to talk with Magnet director – who, of course, will suggest she stay in magnet. I talked with D some more last night and stopped when she was getting too upset. Later, D asked me to get some opinions from CC parents - how ‘bout that! :-)</p>

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<p>The only thing that I would point out is that the colleges that accepted her are all expecting her to take the course of study that she indicated on her applications. If she is going to make changes, she needs to check with them first to see if this would make a difference. But don’t assume that they will tell her not to make the change. My son wanted to drop French his last semester of senior year, and I made him contact the college to see if it was OK with them. They had no problem with it, and he dropped it. But dropping from the magnet might be a bigger deal.</p>

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<p>She planned for that :slight_smile:
Put “AP or H Lit” on her aps AND other than a few schools, she didn’t mention that she is in a magnet program - and then only in passing on while answering a short-answer question about making friends or something.</p>

<p>But, I like the idea of her contacting the school…might make an impact.</p>

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<p>Yes, when they accepted her, there was an assumption her work would continue on at least the same level as when she applied. (It’s a bit of truth-in-lending.) Sometimes, the “cost” of the change is a new expectation she will excel in the replacement class(es.) This 11th hour move could be more stress for your dau than maintaining course, (considering the program and GC changes, as well.)<br>
My dau had a similar issue with an AP calc . She also spoke with the college adcom. The more competitive the college, the more it may matter to them that she stay on track. Mine dropped back to senior level calc, but worked at max to get an A. The decision was right for her, but she didn’t get off easy, not at all.
Would your dau continue with Lit? That may also be an expectation. I would ask the accepted colleges first, test the waters, before contacting the final one. Don’t assume no one knows she’s in the magnet now- this could have come out in the GC recc or it may be clear from the school profile that is sent (ie that her classes match the higher order of the magnet program.)
Good luck. It’s great you’re willing to help.</p>

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<p>She should ask the teacher for the reading list for the class now. It would be easy in Lit to work ahead a bit and read one or more of the books over winter break to get a head start. She also might get some of the books on tape from the public library so she can listen instead of reading.</p>

<p>College has ‘tons of reading’, too (most courses are comparable to AP classes, that is the idea). So she needs to get used to it. I personally would give my kid a pep talk and encourage them to stick with the magnet program. She is so close, and she will feel like she has really accomplished something (and she will have) when she finishes it.</p>

<p>.</p>

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<p>If it’s really about the AP Lit class, I’d encourage her to stick with the magnet program. AP Lit will be great preparation for college, and although many students do, I don’t think now is the time to step down one’s game. Would she really be unable to do her sport and this class? I find that difficult to believe, especially in light of what the counselor has said. I agree with the poster who suggested getting the reading list now. Getting a jump on some of the reading seems like a great idea. Ultimately, I think it has to be her choice, but I’d push hard for her to stay the course.</p>

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But haven’t these schools already seen a transcript? At least, they will expect her to finish year-long classes.</p>

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<p>She may not have told the colleges she was in a magnet program, but her counselor rec might indicate that and note if she drops from the magnet program in the eighth semester. My daughter was in an academic magnet housed in a larger high school and the school profile was very specific in mentioning the magnet program and the program’s accomplishments. The schools may rely on that.</p>

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<p>A bad last semester can be a disaster! A D or F can lead to an acceptance being rescinded. I’m all for pushing the envelope–but at this late date, you have to also think about minimizing risk.</p>

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<p>What does D think of the AP lit teacher? Is D expecting there to be a problem with her? Is the teacher approachable, such that D could speak with her about her concerns?</p>

<p>It would be good to know for sure the consequences regarding the senior project. In my opinion, colleges would also have to be told that she is dropping BOTH the senior project and the AP class, if that were the case.</p>

<p>Does D have a problem with the senior project?</p>

<p>To follow up on lookingforward’s and thatmom’s comments: I feel sure that colleges know that she is in a magnet program. It seems strange and improbable to me that a high school would have a magnet program yet never let colleges know that a student is in it.</p>

<p>I’m quite struck by the depth of her feeling about this issue: planned for it in advance, very emotional, would give up senior year of sport. As intparent said, she is going to need to read a lot in college. What about suggesting that she see a counselor to help with this issue?</p>

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<p>Knowing the Senior AP lit teacher at our school, I really feel your D’s pain. My D refuses to take AP lit next year though she’s acing AP lit this year and loves it in general! </p>

<p>My thoughts are: what does her present Lit teacher suggest? She knows your D as a lit student, and probably knows the Sr. teacher and her class well, too. She might have an angle you hadn’t considered. </p>

<ol>
<li><p>Have you thought about downloading books on her ipod, so she can listen? We did this when D had to read Crime and Punishment in 3 weeks last year-- a lifesaver. </p></li>
<li><p>Which college does she most want to attend? If she’s sure, she can call them and ask what makes sense. Perhaps a more rigorous science course and a non AP level English, so she can show rigor without killing herself in a subject she’s likely to avoid in the future anyway. She has applied to college and been accepted–I’m thinking an honest chat with the admissions office would put this in perspective one way or another. </p></li>
</ol>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>I’m thinking I’d rather her tackle a tough lit class when she has your support this year rather than face it on her own next year.</p>

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<p>Thank you all so much! You’ve given us both a lot to consider.</p>

<p>We have done the ipod thing before and that was very helpful. I didn’t think about meeting with the Lit teacher. If she knows there is a concern going in, but that Ds willing to work hard (<em>if</em> I can get her to that point!) maybe that would help.</p>

<p>She’s on a block schedule so 4 classes this semester and 4 next, so no lit right now - she is reading a book for history that is also on her lit list (which is frowned on, but…)
Her ONLY requirements for graduation (after this semester) is a Lit and health/PE. The GC suggested she drop AP Comp Sci and take an easier science or even something else easy, but she really WANTS to take the CS class so I don’t want to discourage that…plus APCS was listed on aps.</p>

<p>I guess the transcript does show a couple classes that have “magnet” in the name, so that would be obvious, even if “magnet program participant” isn’t specifically highlighted.</p>

<p>As far as the Senior Project. I would LOVE for her to complete it (it’s a magnet specific requirement) - it is VERY involved. Had to take a class for it last year, has already completed a 25 page paper, gathered lots of data, etc. Has to present (thesis-like) in front of a panel, etc. No grade - just an accomplishment. I think it would be great preparation for not only college, but life. I know a lot of kids drop magnet in their senior year just to get out of doing it.</p>

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<p>Augh!! I SO think that the kid should be able to catch a break. Gads. We drive these kids like mule trains. She sounds like a great kid – who wants to do her team sport and enjoy a bit of senior spring. This is not the same as taking up bank robbery. </p>

<p>Why not cut a deal? She gets to drop the awful class, but with the understanding that she will replace it with something that she will work very hard for an A. It doesn’t matter if it is ceramics or bookkeeping or astronomy. She’s to be in class, be respectful and do the work assigned. I really, really could not see any admission officer anywhere telling her “gee, you got an A in basket weaving, but that’s not good enough.” It just ain’t gonna happen. </p>

<p>Admissions get yanked when a kid goes off the rails (D’s, F’s, arrests, etc). They don’t get yanked because a kid decided to breathe. </p>

<p>All of this mirrors all of life’s choices. You could choose to eat healthy meals every meal of every day. You could choose to never, ever spend a nickel in a frivilous manner. You could have a rigid bedtime and never stay up to see the shooting stars or a late night thriller movie. Me, I think it is ok to occasionally do something “naughty” like have a slice of pizza. </p>

<p>Again, this student is not asking for the earth. I hope you’ll give her this one last chance to be a kid.</p>

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<p>I agree with Olymom, but I also wonder how she will fare in college, if she is not willing to push herself. It doesn’t sound like she has a super intensive course load.</p>

<p>How will she deal in college when she has to take mandatory classes toward her degree program - and will have to deal with lots of reading on her own, without mom to read along with her? Especially if she wants to go to a school that’s a reach for her.</p>

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<p>Coming after Olymom, I’m gonna sound like a big meanie. But like martina points out above, it’s not like dd has an onerous workoad; she takes just four classes a semester, and next semester one of them is health/PE? Oh, c’mon – this is hardly robbing her of her childhood.</p>

<p>Is it possible to drop Lit and still do the Senior Project?</p>

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<p>Thanks martina99 & youdon’t say - I was almost swayed over to olymom’s side…which is probably why I’m having such a hard time - I see both arguments…and agree with both in some ways.</p>

<p>She has had a fairly rigorous schedule, maybe not compared to other CC kids, but…
Up until now, she takes 3 Honors or AP academic (usually 1 AP/semester) + 1 arts each semester and is in both a fall and spring activity. We live 30 min+ from the school, so figuring in practices and games, she usually leaves the house at 7:30a (6:30 some mornings she has club meetings) and won’t be home until 8 or 9p so her days are very long. And in the Fall her Saturdays are out and she is pretty involved at church so that takes up Sundays. She’s a busy kid.</p>

<p>We have NOT pushed her into any activities or classes. In fact, I tried to talk her out of going into the magnet program…I wanted her to be a kid as long as possible.</p>

<p>BUT…I have a son who didn’t push himself at all in HS (one AP he failed!) and he REALLY struggled his first year of college so I do think she is a bit more prepared, but he LOVES to read and she hates it…I feel like she might need the “practice”.</p>

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<p>Yikes.</p>

<p>I think it’s time to turn off the helicopter and let your D decide how to approach the situation. From the side comments in your description of the situation I get a strong sense that she knows herself and her strengths and weaknesses.</p>

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<p>Her preparation for college would be my main concern, too. She can’t repeatedly drop classes because she doesn’t like the readings/wants to play her IM sport/etc. And to see so much effort already invested in that Senior Project – well, I’d have a hard time letting her quit that. But if she insists she can’t keep up with her academics and sport and wants to quit the sport, I’d let her do that, unless she’s going to school on a sports scholarship.</p>

<p>I understand about the long days – we have the same deal here. And the same deal with a kid who wants to do it all, and then seems overwhelmed by it. He used to thrive on all the activity, but this year has cut back some. Of course, with that cutting back his grades actually have dropped, which doesn’t really surprise me because I think he works best when he has a lot to do. Now, he just doesn’t feel challenged. Kids! ;)</p>

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<p>Correct me if I am wrong. We don’t use the block system here.</p>

<p>Under the block system, as I understand it, students complete full-year courses in a semester. There are fewer periods in a day, and each period is proportionately longer.</p>

<p>Thus, DD does not have Lit now, but she will have a full-year course of AP or H Lit in the spring. </p>

<p>A student who takes three AP courses per semester under the block system, then, has the workload of a student who takes six AP courses in a traditional system.</p>

<p>[Block</a> scheduling - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Block_scheduling]Block”>Block scheduling - Wikipedia)</p>

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<p>I regret it when those who who may favor letting a child decide a certain issue for herself feel the need to resort to name calling.</p>

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