Are you getting counseling? Sounds like you need to consider it. Medication is very helpful, but therapy is a much better solution long term because you will learn how to cope with the overwhelming feelings of anxiety. Anxiety makes you fear every little step in the future. You need to slow it down to what works today. You need to be realistic about what deserves terror. Tell yourself that instead of the worst case scenario, maybe the best will happen. What if everything works out fine?
I like the diagram that says, in essence:
Is there a problem?
If yes, can you do something about it?
If yes, then don’t worry.
If there is nothing you can do about it, then don’t worry.
Is there a problem?
If no, you don’t need to do anything. Don’t worry.
In other words, don’t worry. It’s in your hands to do something about your situation. It will be resolved, whatever decision you make. Tormenting yourself with worst case scenarios is not helpful.
@Lindagaf I did start counseling, it has helped a little. Im hoping to find a therapist who I can connect with more than the one I have currently. I do tend to go down a long tunnel of worse case scenarios. I feel like going to college was such a big step that I wasn’t really ready for and now I just need to take a step in a direction that I feel more comfortable. But then at the same time I feel like that I will regret that decision entirely (there goes my mind again).
@addyprice Have you thought about lessening your course load (even if it takes 5 years to graduate)? Taking less units (but still full time) can make things easier in your personal life and allow for more time to reflect, go to counseling, make additional friends to distract you, etc. This will ensure you will still graduate but still deal with the “I wasn’t ready, I can’t do it” thoughts. Can you set up a person from home to call daily and have daily “talk dates” to motivate you and comfort you? What about making a scrapbook of your school to share with family and friends in the summer and work on it a little day by day? I know it is hard not to worry when people say don’t worry. Take it in whatever periods you can --hour by hour, half day by half day or day by day or week by week. Whatever works. Focus on who you are eating with, spending time with or attending things with today. Let yourself enjoy it. Your family wouldn’t want you to be anxiety ridden
I’ve been feeling the exact same way lately. I was really nervous and dreading going to college for the first few weeks. I eventually made a few friends and adjusted but I struggled really badly with my college course load and had serious anxiety issues with being able to pay off tuition as well as not lose my merit scholarship. I was debating on taking a semester off to figure out what I wanted to do and take a break. I eventually stuck it out and went home often to spend time with my family which definitely helped a lot. You can do it, everything happens for a reason and best of luck!
I was in the exact same situation as you my freshman year. I thought it would get easier so I decided to stick it out. It only got worse, and I finally moved home my junior year so I could commute. When I moved back home I was the absolute happiest I’ve ever been, and I deeply regret suffering for so long simply because I was afraid of what people would think or of being a “failure” like you said. I strongly recommend either taking a semester at home at community college or transferring to a different university where you can commute. This really helped me with my anxiety and I’m in a much better place now.