I think I need to shorten my friend zone...

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>To try to make the background story short. The group of friends I was hanging out with last year (my Junior year) I've known since freshman year since we lived on the same floor (let's just call them A,B, and C). At the time, I didn't know them but so well since the only time I did chill with them was to smoke. Come sophomore year, I wasn't chillin the friends that I hung out with all the time freshman as much just for the simple fact that it was just hard to get up with them at times. No big deal, so eventually I end up hitting A,B and C up to hang and we kicked it for the entire year. I even went up and stayed at A's house for a couple days the summer after. Sounds like normal stuff, right?</p>

<p>Well enter my Junior year and A,B, and C got a house, so you know that was my chill spot for the year. Well, I started to notice that things seemed different hanging with them. Individually, they all seem cool, but when they got together it was like the peanut gallery. All they would do is joke on somebody for ANYTHING, I mean throw insults on topics from what you wearing, to the way you did something or said something a tiny bit off-kilter. In their minds it was all in good fun, and at times it was funny, but this started to get obsessive and annoying. I don't believe this is any different than the year before, but it seem like this go around they were at it on another level. Sometimes it felt that when they threw insults at me, they tried to make it the most heinous out of the other ones for some reason. At the time, I was struggling with school and other stuff, so you can imagine that my confidence was a bit low and they were not helping.</p>

<p>Looking back, some of the stuff they said was stupid and wasn't worth getting sensitive over(something I've improved on in myself), but there were times I felt like they were trying to straight-up play me, and these are my "friends". Needless to say, after one night where they really tried to make me the laughing stock of the room for unsuccessfully trying to talk to this one chick, I had a epiphany that maybe I shouldn't associate myself with A,B, and C so much anymore. I previously had felt I was obligated to show up at their house so they wouldn't think I stayed away from them because of their insults, but realized that I shouldn't be in an environment that I don't feel comfortable with and with A,B, and C and their group of friends, it felt like I was back in high school, and I HATED high school.</p>

<p>This coming year they already said they gonna come over my apartment all the time since my roommate is good friends with them too. If that's the case I plan on being as busy as possible so I don't have to be around their antics at all times. I really posted this to see if anyone can relate to this story or had friends you thought were your friends until they showed their true colors.</p>

2

<p>I realized just how shallow a lot of people are. I still hang out with them at parties and stuff, but I don’t consider them close. Their people I’ll have a drink with, but that’s about it. They just gossip all the time (guys too) and talk about things I find meaningless. </p>

<p>I think they feel the need to insult people to improve their self worth. But we’ve had a lot of good tines and I have fun when I’m with them.</p>

3

<p>Sheesh guy, learn to laugh at yourself. If you can’t, then yeah you’re right maybe you shouldn’t be around people who don’t take themselves so seriously. I mean come on, you gotta relax. What’s the worse they’re going to do to you? Laugh. And if you laugh at yourself then it’s okay, but it becomes a problem when you take them too seriously.</p>

4

<p>That’s the thing, I can laugh at myself easily. I used to be one to take myself too seriously but I’ve grown outta that as time passes by. It’s not that I can’t take a joke, it’s that it started to seem like they were trying to disrespect me instead of just pulling my leg, and that’s not cool. I got many friends in different places that I can joke around with and there’s no problem. These cats just try to take it too far ALL the time and it got really annoying.</p>

5

<p>It probably is best to spend little time with these guys. Best to find people that you feel good hanging around with and are more positive about themselves and others. Nothing wrong with kidding around now and then but it sounds like this is excessive and getting to you. When you find some other, nicer, more laid back friends you will look back and think how come you wasted so much time with these jerks.</p>

6

<p>I’ve had the same problem. Individually those kinds of people are fun to hang out with. When in a group, they’re the absolute worst. They’ll find someone to turn into the butt of all their jokes. It just isn’t good no matter how you try to put it. They’re taking advantage of you for their own advantage. If it’s to improve their self-worth, other ways could be used.
I’ve also met people who kid around and are very light-hearted about it, so you know it’s all in good fun.
My advice is to slowly cut contact with these people. Don’t make it completely obvious and exaggerated though. If they invite you to something, politely refuse. If you happen to come across them at a street or store, wave, smile, and be on your way. If they stop you to talk, tell them you’re busy and don’t have much time, do it all with a smile though. One good trick is to ask them for the time, and then go “GAH, I have to do [insert event here] by [a nice round number time that’s near the current time]” Use that sparingly if you happen to come across them a lot. </p>

<p>You’ll feel a lot better. As for the apartment problem, invite friends over when they’re over and make an agreement with your friends to keep contact with them at a minimum without being rude.</p>

7

<p>It happened to me. It was funny until they took it too far, and then it became offensive, politically incorrect and just wrong.</p>

<p>Cut away, just do it slowly. Don’t make it obvious that you’re angry, just allow them to think you grew apart.</p>

8

<p>I knew people like that in high school. Never came close to liking them, and I made it very clear. A lot of people thought I was an *******, but it never really bothered me. Don’t see why you would pretend to be friends.</p>

<p>If you’re worried about things like that though, just ignore them. Find other people to be busy with.</p>