I’m a current sophomore in high school and I find myself panicking or feeling anxious about the near future very often. I am a B average student, with an unweighted gpa of 3.14 and a weighted of 3.64 I take GT and AP classes but I am only barely getting by while many of my close friends are straight A students which makes me feel even worse about myself. I live in Maryland, and my mother doesn’t want me to go out of state, but MD has very competitive universities, UMD is probably out of reach for me but my counselor said I definitely have chances for UMBC (even though I wish I could go to a bigger school). I have extracurriculars in orchestra and choir and the track team and will join science olympiad and maybe MESA next year. This summer I am going to do hours of volunteering and study as much as I can for the SAT. I hope to turn myself around and get more As junior year but I feel like what if that ends up as an empty promise and I don’t improve. My schedule for junior year has 3 AP classes and I want to do more extracurriculars and I will do standardized testing (I’m planning on taking the SAT at least twice) and I’m afraid I will overwhelm myself and just shut down. My counselor has told me that I’ll be fine and that I will get into college but I think my environment is full of high achieving students that I feel dumb and stupid even though I am overreacting it makes me very very anxious. I hope I get better grades junior year and do well on my SAT and ACT but right now it all feels like so much of a stretch and I feel like I’ve dug myself in a hole and I feel hopeless about the future and about myself. I don’t know what me posting this here will do, I just needed to express some of my frustration somewhere because these days it’s all my mind can think about. I am a 15 year old girl and I’m always spiked with anxiety about college and the future even breaking down in the middle of a math test because I just couldn’t do it. I know I am too hard on myself but I feel so low and stupid I don’t know what to do with myself.
Believe your counselor. Stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on doing your best in HS in every way possible (grades, ECs, socially etc.) and then seek out colleges that are good fits.
Believe me, high achieving students also often feel dumb and very anxious. It’s super common at your age. This doesn’t mean you cannot do anything about it.
Have you tried therapy? If not, is it a possibility? It can give you tools to manage your anxiety.
Otherwise, don’t just “hope to turn yourself around”, think about your goals (what do you want to do in life and what are some ways to get there) and make a step-by-step plan how to reach them so you achieve a little every day. Remember that mistakes also help you to learn. Read about growth mindset as opposed to fixed mindset. Be realistic about the number of extracurriculars you can do and leave time for rest and enjoying yourself. Over all, compare yourself not with others around you, but with your own self a month or a year ago.
There will always be someone smarter, faster, prettier, etc. That’s just the way life works. Maybe there are a lot of smarter people you are surrounded by, or maybe you just don’t test as well. Maybe it isn’t as bad as you think. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
In the long run, honestly, it does not matter. Obviously you need to try, because you will get better outcomes if you do. But things usually work out. Not always the way they would ideally, but they work out fine.
Don’t waste your life worrying. It is about college now, but it can morph into something else, then something else. Please for your own happiness don’t let that happen. Seek help. Seriously. My oldest met with a counselor a few times and it helped him develop some coping mechanisms and made s huge difference in his happiness level.
Also I have a friend who is hugely successful, a bit younger than me. He frequently says that he isn’t that smart and that school was a struggle. His kids still struggle. School just isn’t their strong suit. But he’s a super nice guy and works hard. And because of that, things seen to always work out for him. He struggled through a directional U with help. Now some of the people who used to help him in school work for him.
I’m quite a bit older than you. One of the things I have learned is that life is short. Don’t waste time worrying about things you can’t control. Most things aren’t as important in hind sight as we think they are at the time. Enjoy the stage you are in, and don’t waste you life worrying about how to get to the next stage.
It sounds like you’re really struggling, and I feel you – that’s a really common position for high school students to be in, regardless of what grades they get!
First of all, you’re a sophomore, so it’s not time to panic yet. Like you said, you can still get good grades junior year to boost your GPA. Also, while of course it would be awesome to have a 5.0 GPA, a 3.14 UW / 3.64 W is still a great GPA! That means that you’re getting at least a B average and probably not failing any classes, right? Many, many people cannot make that statement. The fact that you’re taking AP classes shows that you’re challenging yourself and working to your potential, which is great; grades aren’t everything, even though they are important.
One thing I would say is to stop comparing yourself with others, even though it’s really really hard. If all your friends had 2.0 GPAs instead of straight As, would you feel smarter? Maybe in comparison, but in concrete terms you’d still be as smart as you are now. Likewise, just because others have 4.0s doesn’t make your 3.14 any less of an achievement. Would you tell a student who works hard but only gets a 2.5 GPA that they’re not good enough? Probably not, so don’t tell yourself that either – it’s not true. You are good enough. You’re not stupid, I promise.
You can definitely go to college, even if it might not be UMD (I don’t know anything about Maryland, so I can’t say). There’s a school for everyone! Check the threads here about colleges for B students; I’m sure you’ll find one you like. Even if you got Cs in every class next year, I’m willing to bet your community college or local colleges would gladly take you; whenever I was stressed about college, it helped me to remind myself that I could at least go somewhere, no matter what. With hard work and some As and Bs next year, just imagine how far you can go!
Lastly, I noticed that you mention anxiety a lot in your post. Maybe it’s a figure of speech or maybe it’s a real issue for you, but I would consider seeing a counselor a few times if possible. A professional therapist would probably be best, although your school counselor would work too, and there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Talk to your parents about how you feel. Talk to your friends; they might feel the same way, and you could ask them to talk less about grades and college and activities to decrease the stress level in your environment. Your teachers could probably give you a pep talk too (did you talk to your math teacher about the test?).
Nothing is hopeless! You will be able to go to college, do great things, and have a fulfilling future. Don’t get burnt out and try to keep a balanced schedule with lots of sleep, relaxation, and time with friends and family. College isn’t more important than your sanity. Try to ignore it for the rest of the summer. Challenge yourself next year but don’t stretch yourself too far. Hang in there – best wishes! 
If you feel overwhelmed, consider taking only 2 AP classes next year instead of 3. There is no magic number. And really, try to stop comparing yourself to other people. Do your own best work, do the ECs you enjoy to the best of your ability, and it will work out.
Remember, all you can ask of yourself is to do your very best. Your best will be good enough - worry not.
The most successful person I know (now a Vice president of a company, a 1%er, who also happens to be a very good person), was a B student. He went to a small liberal arts college which was good but not an ivy league by any means.
I also love to tell younger people how the only person I ever worked with who, was not asked to renew his contract, was the Harvard graduate.
The recipe for success involves so much more than high grades. We sometimes forget that in high school and when going through the college process.
“Just keep swimming!” I’m sure you will do great things in life. Try to enjoy life as well. You’ve got this!
There are 2500+ 4 year colleges in the USA. There is one for you.
You mom probably has some good reasons for you not going out of state. I think that a combination of therapy and perhaps career planning/life visioning would be good for you. Maybe if you begin to get an idea of where you want to get to in life, you’ll focus more on that goal and less on the idea of college as the path there. College is important, sure, but also it’s just part of the puzzle. The other things, like learning to handle adversity, setting goals, building a team of friends and family you can trust–those are all equally or more important.
Here’s an exercise I did with my daughter: she has an idea of where she wants to get to in life. So we looked up a firm that does that kind of work, and then we looked at all the biographies of the people who work there in high levels. Lo and behold, we discovered that very few of them had gone to prestigious colleges, and many had gone to colleges she and her peers would have considered “beneath” them. It was a good dose of reality.
You might want to limit yourself to 2 AP’s, aim for a B in them, and ace your non AP classes.
Do you get 7-8 hours of sleep a night?
Note: staying instate will make things a bit more difficult since there aren’t as many colleges in MD as in nearby PA or VA. UMD is unlikely anyway, so keep it for a reach, and try looking into actual target and likely colleges: McDaniel’s, Towson, Loyola… (a bit farther away: Susquehanna, Lycoming, Lebanon Valley, Juniata, Muhlenberg…)
Talk with your mother about costs.
Oh my goodness, sweetheart. You are much too young to worry about your future. I know that doesn’t help, but it’s breaking my heart to read your words. You have been put on this earth for a reason. You have skills and talents that make you uniquely you and that will benefit society and be in demand. The trick is just to figure out what those are and how to cultivate them. You are too young to know now what they are. Your job now is to explore your interests and different opportunities presented to you to figure out what sorts of things appeal to you and where your skills lie. Don’t worry about your grades right now. School is just one part of the equation. Just do your best, but focus on taking care of yourself and exploring your interests.
you’re a sophomore (so young!) and YOU are good enough! Don’t give up now and just try your hardest. I go to a very very competitive high school outside an Ivy League college. It’s so easy to compare yourself to others … but realize, when you’re focused on others you’re not focusing on yourself. You matter more. It’s not ALL about getting into a top college, but what you make of your time there. Good luck!
There’s still so much time and so many opportunities ahead of you. Work on being the best you can be and try not to compare yourselves to others. It doesn’t help you in any aspect, only makes you feel worse about yourself.
Believe me, It’s super common at your age. This doesn’t mean you cannot do anything about it. Stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on doing your best in every way possible (grades, ECs, socially etc.) and then seek out colleges that are good fits.
I’m sorry you feel so down on yourself. A 3.0 is not a bad gpa especially with a rigorous curriculum. Do you think cutting back on some AP courses would reduce stress and improve your grades? An upward trend in grades is also looked upon well