I think my dad is being unreasonable. What do you think?

Parents Forum
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<p>According to Wiki, the median U.S. household income in 2007 was around $50,000. (Comfort depends on location and lifestyle). Also, many households have only one wage-earner.</p>

<p>Back to the original topic: no need to make any firm decisions now or argue about potential careers. Get to college first and see what happens. Even in college, many, if not most, pre-med students change their minds after a semester or two.
I’m surprised your dad is taking so much interest in this since you haven’t lived with/grown up with him.</p>

<p>Medicine is not something to go into just for the income. It is a vocation that can be very demanding for the whole family–including many years of difficult training,living in poverty, dealing with debt, and knowing that care of patients will take precedence over family. When H (doctor) asked S (then in high school) if he’d ever consider a career in medicine, S actually cried and said, “After I’ve seen YOU come home late, in a bad mood, or not at all every day of my life—why would I ever want to do that?!” We wouldn’t encourage our kids to go into medicine. We wouldn’t talk them out of it, either. Their lives, their decisions. (Granted, there are some specialties and work situations in medicine that are more “family friendly” than others). Students: when choosing a career, think carefully about what else you might like to do with your lives outside of work–spouse, children, travel, hobbies, etc. Money isn’t the only thing that makes a lifestyle. You can’t buy your time back.</p>

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<p>Post #16 is right on the money!</p>

<p>Making more money is all well and fine, BUT (and this is a direct camera shot at my life) the more you make, the more it costs to survive. Hightened State of Poverty. That is what my dad calls it. Pull $400K a year and live in a 750K home, drive a 6 figure car, send your kids to private school and at the end of the month you will be pay check to pay check like half of america. And on top of that Uncle Sam wants his part and it will be bigger the more you make (fact of life, not political advise) From age 22-28, I made no more than $50K a year. I owned a home in Atlanta, lived by myself, drove a decent car, and by the time I reached, 28, I had saved over $100K and had paid off half my mortgage. I took a trip every year, each involving airfare and at least a week away. I always invested in nice “basic” clothing and shoes and NEVER used credit cards. I hung out with my friends, chilled at the movies, etc. You don’t have to make huge money to do those things, you simply have to MANAGE your money.</p>

<p>Now with all that said, the issue here has NOTHING to do with money. Your Dad has a dream. He wants his son to be doctor. He has wanted it all your life. He uses money as a reason to show you that you are making a poor choice. What he is feeling inside is that his dream is falling apart. But what you have to understand that it was not his dream to own. It is your dreams that really matter in this situation, but you have to give him time to mourn the loss of his dream. You have to understand that it hurts him. All parents have dreams for their children. I used to be “that” parent. It took getting the first two through college to realize that, my “wants” for my son’s lives have no place. I have four grown sons who each have their own occupations. Some work for our company (which is my husband’s dream for them) One is a musician (which I love…he is certainly the most poor, yet happy…yet NEVER asks for money because he manages it so well…yet H sees NO valve in that) And the other works in banking. I guess my point is, money is an object, it can make life easier, but it also complicates matters. At the end of your life, be proud about who you were, and what you did, not how many great pieces of art you have and how much money you have in your pocket. (because if you have those things, uncle sam will be happy to help you spend it, via estate tax…lol)</p>

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<p>“Could be jealousy on my part, but if they decide to “go with their heart”, I would expect them to accept whatever limits that might bring, and not to come back home, or need long periods of financial support.”</p>

<p>I don’t call that jealousy: I call that correctly expecting your kids to be responsible for the consequence of pursuing their dreams.</p>

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<p>But if they follow your dream for them, they are welcome home and sure to get all the financial support they need?</p>

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<p>OP- You went along with your dad’s dream of being a doctor for years, smiling and nodding as he bragged. Now you drop a bombshell and reveal that you want to be a PT. He’s just wants you to be sure you don’t close the door completely on medical school since falling in love with being a PT. You can understand the prestige and salary of an MD (in your father’s mind) is greater than a PT. Do as the above posters suggest-take courses that are prerequisites for both and let’s see how you feel in your sophomore year, when you will apply for PT school. Good luck, both jobs require commitment and dedication.</p>

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<p>PT used to be mostly a masters degree program; but increasingly schools are offering a doctorate in PT. Northeastern has a 6 year program (very difficult to get into) that allows you to enter as a freshman, and end up with a bachelors and DPT. Otherwise, you’d probably major in Bio, Exercise Science, or Kinesiology (I’m SURE I spelled that wrong), and go to grad school, either for a masters or DPT. I know that Elon recently changed their grad PT program from masters to DPT. </p>

<p>With an increasing aging population , PT is a growing field. If you ended up owning your own PT practice, I would think your income would be substantially higher than $60k. I’m not sure where your dad pulled that figure from. With the rise in HMO’s, cuts in Medicare reimbursement rates, and skyrocketing malpractice insurance, not to mention Med School loans, I’m not sure that being a physician is any guarantee of a high income. And as you know, there’s more to life than money.</p>

<p>You’re not rejecting the entire medical field, but your Dad may subconsciously see your rejection of being an MD as a rejection of his choices in life, so tread carefully.</p>

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<p>I have a nephew who is looking at PT as a career. $60k in his part of the country is a nice salary. OTOH, the PTs and OTs I know are all making more than that!</p>

<p>Agree with other posters that first you’ve got to get through core sciences in college. That may influence your choice of career far more than anything your father could ever do or say.</p>

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<p>"But if they follow your dream for them, they are welcome home and sure to get all the financial support they need? "</p>

<p>My dream for them is that they become self sufficient…that’s IT…that was always the message in my family of origin…so, no…</p>

<p>No matter what, I probably would have them back home, but would feel as if I’d done something wrong.</p>

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<p>Wow. I really feel sorry for the OP’s father and the various posters on this board who cannot imagine living on $60K a year. I’m thinking they all must lead horrible, pressured, trapped lives that you can’t even imagine functioning on the amount of money that is median income through most of the country. (Yes,they may think life is good… but what’s the point if life career choices are so constrained? ) I’ve spent my entire life doing work that I love… and my son is now doing the same – and my daughter has become a world traveler on the cheap.</p>

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<p>“various posters on this board who cannot imagine living on $60K a year”</p>

<p>Did somebody say that? I don’t think I did. I’ve lived “that way” most of my life, but my kids haven’t.</p>

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<p>I have not read any of the posts, but I would not waste any energy on arguing it. Go to the university which is the best fit for you, take your general ed courses, take the pre med/pre PT courses as part of the premed and see where it all leads.</p>

<p>In the meantime, be involved on campus, find your passions-club sports, IM sports, Greek, music, drama, volunteer, etc. Find “your people” find yourself. </p>

<p>Way too many people find themselves unable to qualify to apply with an MCAT below 27 and a GPA below 3.5 (well you can sometimes get in with less than these, but they are the general rule of thumb) Why bother arguing before you get anywhere close.</p>

<p>By the same token don’t be a fool and tank intentionally in those courses, whatever you do with your life, better grades give you more options.</p>

<p>So, don’t get into arguing, just tell Dad you are willing to consider it, that you will explore it and then see what happens. </p>

<p>My DD was totally unclear whether she wanted to pursue medicine or not. She knew she liked science, but went in undeclared, dabbled at being a math major, pursued her GE reqs and ended up a bio major. She did not decide on medicine until AFTER she took the MCAT in the summer before her senior year and it was really her senior courses that confirmed it for her.</p>

<p>She is now applying. Another DD thought about maybe medicine in HS, but the keeners & gunners in her intense public school totally turned her off to that fight, she is pursuing a PhD instead, she found her passion.</p>

<p>Find your passion, but don’t cut anything off the list from the start, just keep an open mind</p>

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<p>My daughter wants to be an Occupational Therapist and I am thrilled. No, she won’t bring home the salary of an MD or other medical professions. But, like Physical Therapy, OT has a high rate of job satisfaction and a good job market outlook per US News 2009. Allied medical careers are in high demand, especially with the aging baby boomers. I was even hoping that my daughter might consider Physical Therapy instead (just because the career has more recognition. :slight_smile: But, I’m thrilled that she’s considering OT. And best wishes to YOU! Show your dad this: </p>

<p>[Overrated</a> Career: Physician 2009 - US News and World Report](<a href=“http://www.usnews.com/articles/business/best-careers/2008/12/11/overrated-career-physician-2009.html]Overrated”>http://www.usnews.com/articles/business/best-careers/2008/12/11/overrated-career-physician-2009.html)</p>

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<p>My husband is a high school teacher–25+ years at the same school and doesn’t make much over $60,000. And this is in an expensive area on the central coast of California. He also makes some money during the summer and with a “hobby job” he calls it on some weekends–probably totalling maybe $80,000 gross. I stay at home. No, we don’t live “high on the hog”. We bought our house 15 years ago, so our mortgage is very manageable. We don’t drive the newest cars, nor have expensive hobbies. But, we’ve also managed to take 9 cruises since 1992. Granted, all on the West coast. Anywaaay, what I’m trying to say, it’s do-able for us. I certainly don’t feel a lacking for anything. Well, okaaay, maybe a nicer landscaped backyard. ;-)</p>

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<p>AMEN!!</p>

<hr>

<p>lunitari wrote:</p>

<p>Living well and comfortably is more about living within your means than it is about sheer salary size. I know people with 6-figure incomes who are in serious financial trouble, and people who make $45K who are doing just fine.</p>

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<p>My dad decided to go law school in his 30s while raising a family. It was a struggle holding down the “day job” and pounding away at a typewriter every night into the wee hours of the morn sometimes. This was in the '60s. But, he graduated summa cum laude at age 38 and proceeded to work as a criminal lawyer. However, as time when on he became disillusioned with the judicial system or the clients he defended. He wasn’t the type to drive an expensive car or collect all the “toys” that many of his colleagues did. He felt like he didn’t belong to “the club”. He later told me that sometimes he wished he had just gone to work for PG&E or the telephone company after high school, worked for 30 years and then have a decent retirement (like some of his old buddies.) Of course, that sort of thing doesn’t happen nowadays. But, back then there was something to be said for being employed in the same company for 30 years with good benefits and retirement. I suppose the reason I even brought this up is…because at the end of the day my dad questioned whether going to law school was ultimately the right choice for him, after all.</p>

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<p>On the other hand, if you have the academic ability to easily get into medical school and become a physician, then maybe you are selling yourself short going into PT.</p>

<p>You could take a medical specialty that may look a lot like PT, but give much more financial advantages, such as orthopedics.</p>

<p>I can see rejecting medicine to become a lawyer or kindergarden teacher or a bee keeper, but not to go into one of the ‘allied’ professions.</p>

<p>Making 300K is a LOT better than making 60K !!!</p>

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<p>“Making 300K is a LOT better than making 60K !!!”</p>

<p>Being happy on one’s job is better than making $300 k. Earning $300 k doesn’t mean that one is going to be happier than if one is making $60 k.</p>

<p>Money doesn’t buy happiness, and a person who really wants to be a PT may not want to be a physician. The jobs are different, and attract different types of people. For instance, a person who wants to be a PT may enjoy being able to spend an hour with each patient personally helping them through hands-on methods. They may not wish to be a physician who has to keep an eye on the clock, making sure to keep their interaction to 15 mins. or less, so they are compensated by insurance enough for their time. They may not like the relative impersonality of being a doctor.</p>

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<p>A physician has a lot of flexibility and choice, but still with a big edge in income. You can develop a practice wherever you want and spend whatever time you want with patients. You don’t have to get sucked in the trap of being a well-paid slave for the insurance company.</p>

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<p>If you’ve got big loans to pay back for medical school, you don’t have that much flexibility when it comes to developing your practice. You can end up being a slave to paying back loans.</p>

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<p>From where I sit, being a PT is NOTHING like being an orthopedic surgeon!</p>

<p>(Also from where I sit), you cannot just set up a cash only practice ANYWHERE ( location and timing are key… maybe not at all in the near future), doing any specialty you want, and manage your overhead, let alone be successful enough to have “a lot of flexibility and choice”.</p>