I Think My Roommate Hates Me and I Have Not even Met Him Yet

So, today I recently found out who my roommate is for college (mind you college starts in a week) he’s black, i’m white, and i am not racist, so i am hoping there’s no race issues. And I contacted him today through text and maybe I got off on a wrong start, he’s a two-time champ with high school football, extremely talented, and seems like the party type, nothing wrong with that since I am turning into a pretty nice extrovert with working out and etc. But is there anyway to know if he does not want to live together or not? I don’t mind asking directly but should that really be the approach. He said “okay” after and that was really it, seems cringy. Any help?

What gives you the idea that he does not like you?

^^ maybe he’s just bad at texting. A lot of people seem a lot more harsh over text/email when in reality they don’t mean to come off that way. I think you should just wait until you live together to make any assumptions that he hates you.

The fact that you felt the need to mention you’re not racist is cringy. Or that you’re white and he’s black. i’m sure it will be fine if you don’t act like you are

I’m not sure I understand the situation. Are you concerned just because he chose to use the word “okay” instead of something more strongly positive/enthusiastic? It sounds like you’re splitting hairs. I agree with @itsintheprocess If my read on the situation is correct - wait until you meet IRL.

I get why you are concerned - he didn’t say much, and maybe even seemed disinterested. You’d expect a little more communication since you are about to be roommates. I also disagree with the poster that thought it was “cringy” that you said you aren’t racist. It’s a post and you’re trying to frame the situation. No harm…people are too critical. If there is more information why you are concern, let us know.

The only thing you can really do at this point is meet him, be roommates and see what happens. My DS will not be playing any sports in college and I’ve told him that if he gets a roommate who does the great thing is that their sport will take up a lot of roomate’s time freeing up the room for him! There’s practice and more practice, games and travel to away games.

My son had very little contact with last year’s roommate-- the kid didn’t respond to questions about the fridge or anything else.

We were thinking it could be an issue.

It wasn’t. Dave simply isn’t a phone kid. He had a fridge, they shared all year. They weren’t best friends, but they were great roommates.

Your roommate may be nervous about starting school, he may be busy with a part time job, he may just not like texting. Don’t borrow trouble-- don’t look for issues before there’s any indication that they exist.

Just curious: how did the race thing come up? My son realized that Dave was black (my son is Asian) when they first met-- the other 2 kids in their suite were white and black respectively. But the words were never said. I’m curious about how you know already.

@bjkmom : With a name, it’s not hard at all to find a person on social media, etc., and I would expect a state football standout would have his picture in the paper a few times.

and his name plus social media

What am I not understanding? Was something edited out of the original post to give this context? Why would him saying “okay” mean that he hates you? I read this twice to see what I am missing. I think you need to relax and just wait to meet in person. As far as texting goes, a lot of people, even teens, respond with bare minimums. The problem with texting is that things get lost in translation. No idea what you texted him about, but if you are worried about, think carefully before you text.

What exactly did you say to him? If you just said “I’m your roommate” and he said “okay”, I don’t know why you’re extrapolating that to mean that he may not want to live with you…

Also why would you ask him “directly” if he doesn’t want to live with you? That conversation sounds like it wouldn’t go well. Regardless of whether I liked someone before, I’d probably dislike them if they randomly accused me of disliking them based on one text. I think you’re overthinking this.

Wait and see how you actually are as roommates before assuming they hate you.

So what gives you the impression that he does not like you?

You only mention that he is black, is a football player, is talented, seems like a party type, and replied “okay” to an unspecified message. None of these as described gives any indication that he does not like you.

Well what was the message that he replied “okay” to? That’s a pretty important piece of information you’ve left out.

I’m assuming that’s what got edited out by a mod. OP said they also got warned for this post so it may not be a good idea to repeat what the mods deleted.

Wait, is this for Clarion? I thought the COA was ~$26k/year and you only got a $3k state grant. Your dad won’t/can’t pay and your mom can’t pay even though your EFC is ~$24k. Did your mom take a ~$20k PLUS loan for your freshman year? How will you pay next year if she’s not approved? Commuting to Edinboro seems much more prudent. I think you have more pressing issues than prospective roommate problems.

@bodangles ah thanks, didn’t realize the post got edited.

My DS was terrible in responding to his new roommates. He was busy at home and has spent all his free time texting, talking to, or going out with his girlfriend. Just living in the moment and the college moment isn’t here yet, as far as he is concerned. OP, just be a good roommate and assume you two will be fine until you are not.

I think half of my text messages are like 5 characters or less. Some people just don’t like to text. Or he could be a butthole. You don’t know. You don’t know him yet.

Just wait until you meet him. Don’t try to get a read on people through words they type. It’ll probably all work out.

This post has been up for almost a week, OP has been back, and hasn’t answered any questions.

My guess? It’s the OP with the race issue, not the person on the other side. There’s no indication the other person knows or cares what the OP’s race is- especially since (I assume) the OP isn’t google-able unlike the champ.