Wow, I'm Embarrassed! (Declined on Facebook)

<p>I've known my roommates info. for probably two weeks now. I decided I would finally send this guy a friend request, I would have done it sooner but he still hasn't joined the college network. Anyways, it turns out he declined it! I really don't get that.. I even added a Hi I'm you roommate personal message thing. My family really wanted to me contact him because of the microwave/fridge/tv thing. I don't know what to do now. I'm sure when I finally meet him he will have some stupid excuse..</p>

<p>Sounds like a jerk. Have fun with that.</p>

<p>He's the one who should be embarrassed!</p>

<p>At the risk of sounding insensitive but are you serious? Before you rush to assign motives and assume he has "some stupid excuse", how do you know he even realized who you were? It's just as possible he saw an unfamiliar name/face and automatically clicked decline than that he intentionally snubbed you. Try contacting him through the traditional avenues like email or even calling him before you automatically write him off. You'll have plenty of time to decide whether he is a jerk based on first hand experience once you actually meet him and start living with him. If you move in with a negative outlook I can guarantee you're going to have a rocky year. Perhaps he's as apprehensive as you were about making contact. Sometimes living with a roommate needs you need to grow some thicker skin and give the other person some slack occasionally when they make a boneheaded move.</p>

<p>i don't see how that applies though. he would have seen my message attached and my network, not to mention my last name which is quite distinctive. the odds of him not getting the housing letter with my name and contact info are highly unlikely.</p>

<p>That's annoying...
have you tried email or IM?</p>

<p>no not yet, i thought facebook would have been the best way</p>

<p>I a similar quandary my own. I was given my roomate's name, home number, and college email about a week ago and still haven't contacted him. I don't have facebook/myspace/etc, so I really don't know if we will contact each other at all before going back to school.</p>

<ul>
<li>Should I send him an email telling him I am his new roomate? This upsets me a bit because he could very well take the iniative to contact me. We still have a month before school begins, so I guess there is still time.</li>
</ul>

<p>Dpad, your roomate's response is very bewildering. Do you plan on contacting hom again?</p>

<p>maybe that's not him on facebook it's just someone with the same name.. that could be possible.</p>

<p>Maybe he's someone who doesn't add someone unless he's really met them in person? Maybe he doesn't use Facebook much anyway? Could it be that he got the housing letter and tossed it aside to be read at another time and didn't see your name? I've confirmed friend requests without realizing there was a message attached because they rarely come w/ messages so I just overlooked it. </p>

<p>Or...perhaps he knows that you'll be living together for nine months and Facebook is basically pointless for two people who see each other every single day and night? He could be shy or need to meet you before letting you see his personal profile. It doesn't mean he's a jerk, some people are just different like that. Chill.</p>

<p>Are you sure he declined you, or is he just late responding? Also, it's possible that he didn't see the personal message and declined you because he didn't know who you were. I would try emailing him.</p>

<p>i was actually hesitant to contact him until he atleast joined the college network but i did anyways (my sister pushed me to do so) and i dont think i will try to again. it is the same person because his city matches his high school's name. </p>

<p>im just a little upset and frustrated now (idk these kind of things really mess with me). i see what you mean cards4life.</p>

<p>as far as declining, i am positive. after you click add to friends it will say in gray friend request pending and that is not there. i sent it yesterday and saw that it had declined this morning</p>

<p>yeah idk i think im done as of now</p>

<p>Let him reject you a 2nd time then get ****ed.</p>

<p>Why don't you just bite the bullet and email or call him? I mean, nobody wants to do it, but he could be sitting there thinking "why doesn't this jerk email/call me already? Why should I have to initiate communication?" It goes both ways. I waited a couple of weeks before emailing my roommate last year, and finally decided that it had to be done, no matter who had to send the first email or make the first phone call.</p>

<p>Try just sending a facebook message, stating who you are. No friend request yet.</p>

<p>maybe he doesn't know your real name or forgot it and though you were some bot/troll trying to add him</p>

<p>Is no one paying attention to what the OP said? He/she sent a message with the friend request explaining who he/she was. </p>

<p>Sorry, but your future roommate sounds like a jerk. Personally, I would hold off on any further communication. If he/she doesn't contact you by the end of summer, I would send him/her an email with any questions you have regarding a fridge, fan, etc. See what happens from there.</p>

<p>The message is included in the friend request notice. I have missed quite a few messages that are sent with friend requests just because I read it quickly. </p>

<p>We are saying that he should send a seperate message, one that actually shows up in the Inbox. I think he probably just didn't recognize your name because he didn't read the letter about roommate assignments or he just didn't memorize the OP's name. </p>

<p>I don't understand why people are just saying the roommate is a jerk for declining his friend request. There are so many reasons why he might have done that. A lot of my friends decline people that they've never met in person. It's not a big deal. Just email the guy and introduce yourself. Ask about his major, interests, who's bringing what, etc. Whatever you do, don't just assume he's a jerk, because then you won't really be open to being friends with him when you actually meet him.</p>

<p>I would think it strange if someone who was given my e-mail address and phone number didn't want to "speak" to me personally but instead added me as a friend on FB, even with a message, without contacting me in a conventional way first. If you want to speak to this person, contact him the way the school gives you; they give you the information they do for a reason.</p>