You won’t ruin your career goals. You will help them by getting healthy.
Hormones can have a big effect on mood (and maybe vice versa).
Talk to a counselor and a dean and find out the best way to take a leave and go home to get healthier. The fact that you reached out is a huge positive. We are rooting for you.
If you can get a counselor at home, they can help with your parents. Maybe even the one at school can help.
Your school should have a counselor on call - you can call them right now and talk to them and then get on the schedule for a regular appointment plus call your regular doctor on Monday. Make a fuss and let them know it is important - this is the time to not take No as an answer from anyone!
I know you mention that you haven’t felt this way before and it is common for depressive episodes to happen between the ages of 18-22. Counseling, maybe medication (you mention hormonal issues) - all could make a big difference - and, yes - maybe even leaving this semester. Have you tried speaking with your parents? Parents will understand - they will want you to be healthy 1st and foremost.
It is NOT okay to handle this all on your own and it is pretty amazing that you have been able to get up and even attend class when you are feeling this blue - it will pass - but it will pass with the assistance of a supportive group of people helping you that includes professionals and family. Please reach out and do not put it off. View this as a learning time and you will get through this and be able to help others with what you learn and how you handled getting yourself back to health. Take care of yourself.
The thing is even if I do leave I don’t know if I’d even want to come back at all….but I will do as you say. I appreciate the advice. I’m just afraid for the worst…if I can’t leave.
Unfortunately, my parents are not the most understanding people. I wish they were. I won’t take no from anyone. I will for sure figure this out because I want out now more than ever
Is there a university near your home town where you could commute or come home on the weekends? Most people encourage living on campus for socializing or attending the most selective school, but getting your education is the reason for going to college. If out of state isn’t working for you, I’m sure your parents will understand if you have a serious talk with them (it sounds like you’re attending a prestigious school?).
My daughters are adopted, and while one loved her OOS experience, the other hated even going to one wheel long sleep away sports camp while in high school. She hated being away from home due to her trauma in infancy. We actually ended up moving with her to her college town (we worked from home and it was time to downsize anyway), and she is now a grad student who had three out of town summer internships. She also lived on campus and then an off campus apartment. She came home most weekends, but is much more mature, independent, and self sufficient than she was four years ago. So it worked well for her. Maybe being closer to your family is what you need in order to get your education also.
Please go to student health to get seen by a medical doctor. There can be physical reasons behind new onset depression tgst need to be ruled out. They will evaluate you, order any necessary tests, get you started with a therapist, and possibly start you on medication.
The school I’m going to is not prestigious at all. I chose this school due to financial reasons or else I would’ve went somewhere closer. The programs for what I wanted to go for weren’t good near where I live either. I mean I like where I’m at. It’s just I don’t like the way my life currently is. And it’s making me miserable. I just want a life.
I’ve been seeing doctors. Im currently inquiring with mine about getting seen soon. So I’m handling that end. I just don’t know what to do in the meantime except see a counselor at my school. I just don’t want to keep doing this. Im really unhappy being away from home. And I have to make ends meet all by myself. It’s just a lot. And I’d rather actually have a life then have my entire days revolve around school and work
So, what would your life be like at home? What would you be doing besides working out? I think you need to think about that before you make any decisions. You say that you don’t want to work or go to school. What’s there for you?
I would work. And save money in the meantime. And do online school or something more local so I can focus on life. But ideally online school because I can formulate my own schedule that way I can actually feel like I’m growing as a person. That’s what I’m getting at here. I don’t want to quit college or my dreams. I’m just sinking because every moment is about school or work. There’s nothing else.
Like all I can think about is how I want to cry and go home. I feel pathetic saying that. I never felt this way in my entire life and am usually very resilient. But I would go home rn in a heartbeat. If I didn’t have my job and didn’t want to mess up my future.
I never said that I don’t want to work or go to school…I’m saying that I don’t want my every day existence to be. Wake up, go to school, go home do homework/work. Go to bed.
I understand adult life isn’t easy. But what I just described doesn’t sound like living…it sounds like a nightmare. Where you have no time to do anything.
Adult life is sometimes easier than college. No homework after work so you have more time to relax. No tests and studying to stress you out.
But you have to get through college first depending on your goals.
Seems like a break would do you good to work on your mental health and to figure things out.
Hello @Nikki_LC
I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time. We here at CC can see that you are struggling. None of us here is in a good position to know what is the best path for you and would not want to see anyone offer you advice that isn’t right for you. I highly recommend you contact your physician and ask for suggestions about how to proceed.
Meanwhile, I will close the thread so that you can get better advice from someone who knows better how to advise you.