<p>From what I'm reading around here and elsewhere, is that all-girls seems to have negative reactions at first and then the reality is so much better than anyone imagined. And all-boys is the opposite. That's why I'm specifying all-boys instead of asking about same sex schools in general.</p>
<p>So, anyone has some real-life experience with all-boys boarding high school? Please share!</p>
<p>Suggest u use SEARCH function to find threads on specific boys schools</p>
<p>I did. I only found one somewhat useful thread. I’m going to try hyphenating it and see if that changes the search.</p>
<p>Search on the name of the school, e.g., Salisbury, Woodberry, Avon, etc.</p>
<p>Also trying searching on single-sex.</p>
<p>Check out avon old farms website.
They make a pretty good case.</p>
<p>My DS went to an all boy Jr. BS. The academics, sports and some ECs were good, but the culture was VERY boy, with a lot of student pressure to conform on every way (dress a certain way, talk sports in a certain way, very physical). That meant that some boys fit in VERY well and others not so much, and faced some isolation and some bullying. That’s just to say it totally depends on the kid-- some fit, some don’t. To be fair, this was a junior BS, and high school age might just be different. It was all ok for my son, but he’s much happier now at a coed school, which is much more diverse culturally and much more accepting of all kinds of kids. Just do your homework-- really talk to people who go to the schools you’re looking at and try to visit more extensively than just taking a half hour tour.</p>
<p>this helps a lot, thank you! My kid is more minecraft and magic cards (it’s 99.9% male at those magic card tournaments) than sports, but he does love recreational sports and outdoor adventure type activities, like camping and hiking and building. He’s all about building and taking things apart.</p>
<p>I am in favor of single sex for females, they develop great leadership skills and the evidence supports this premise. My daughter thrived in an all girls school. On the other hand, my son was in an all boys middle school and was accepted into an all boys boarding school. He said it was fine for middle school but by the time you get to high school it gets old. He observed on his visits that the academic environment seemed to include a lot of horsing around and the students didn’t seem to be as serious about academics. I think it helps boys develop better social skills in the coed environment. He did not want to attend a single sex school for high school which is one of the reasons he is away at school now. Although I think the novelty of coed was short lived, he was being followed around by someone who was interested in him but he wasn’t ready for that. I still think it is nice to have the opportunity to develop friendships with girls.</p>
<p>Regardless of same sex or co-ed, the mixing only happens in classes and clubs, correct? Wait…I guess meals, too. Okay, yeah I see where it’s a big difference. I just can’t find the root of his sudden resistance when he was okay with it a few months ago. I think it’s something more than simply being interested in girls. And if he has some distorted perspective then I want to make sure he sees the reality. Whatever that is.</p>
<p>Granted, my kid is at a co-ed school, but based on his experiences, I’d be very cautious about sending my son to an all-boys school. The boy code is definitely geared toward boys who are big, strong, athletic. As my kid points out, the other boys–the ones who love computer games and building stuff–will rule the world as adults, but for now, things are definitely more slanted toward the athletic boys. In a co-ed school I think that works out okay, but I’d be hesitant to send my kid to a school where the boy code isn’t balanced out somehow (and I have an athletic kid). </p>
<p>That said, a school with a strong math/science focus or a popular outdoors (rather than traditional athletic) program might be a great experience. I’d just suss it out pretty carefully, knowing that boys are pretty good at hiding that nasty competitive macho stuff from adults. I’ve worked with teenagers for most of my adult life, and I’ve learned that sometimes the most charming, disarming, outgoing boys are the ones who are ruthlessly picking on the boys they perceive as weak–and they know how to hide. Girls, however, are great at sniffing that kind of bullying out, and most won’t hesitate to rat out the charismatic bully. They also tend to be good friends to those “weaker” boys. Hence the balance that co-ed schools provide.</p>
<p>I agree that classical mama makes a great point, you need to understand the school environment to determine if it is a good fit. An athletic powerhouse tends to favor the big athletics kids. Personally, I went to an all boys athletic powerhouse and I was not an athlete even though I had the size. I did not fit in and I do not have fond memories of those 4 years. The bullying was very prevalent.</p>
<p>The all boys middle school my son went to had great out doors stuff and my son actually loved all his sports teams (he’s not a huge jock, but was a very solid player in the same 3 sports he did every year). The issue was the boy culture, as well as, as firstgen pointed out, a certain amount of horsing around in class (even in honors classes, although somewhat less there). Again, he wasn’t miserable, but didn’t really ever feel he fit, the way he does now. He has more friends who are boys than girls still, but just having girls around really changes the culture. At his middle (boarding–though he was day) school, there was just a lot of pressure to be ONE certain way–which might fit a specific boy, but might not. And there definitely was some bullying, often treated by the school as “boys will be boys-- they’re just competitive and physical.” But some kids absolutely thrived there, and the academics, sports, outdoors stuff, and facilities were all great. Just check it out carefully. SPEND TIME there.</p>
<p>With respect, our airing our prejudices against different types of schools is not helpful to the OP. Middle school is not high school. Every school has a different culture, frequently determined by the adults in charge. I could just as well opine that the presence of girls forces boys to behave in a more gender-stereotyped way.</p>
<p>ItsNotHogwarts, I’ve bumped a thread on boarding school parents. <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/1283753-bs-parent-resource-list-4.html#post16735691[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/1283753-bs-parent-resource-list-4.html#post16735691</a> I suggest you contact parents who have sons at single-sex boys schools for their opinion of the matter. As it’s break time, their sons might be home.</p>
<p>I have one son that graduated from an all boys school 2 years ago and one son that went to the same school for freshman year and will be graduating from the local high school in May. So I have seen two very different kids have very different experiences at an all boys school. </p>
<p>Feel free to private message me for more info at any time!</p>
<p>There is a lot of mixing at my D’s school - everything except study hall and sleeping. The friend groups are very much co-ed.</p>
<p>My D was originally drawn to BS by looking at 2 schools online and their view books. One was an all girls school. Once it came time to visit and complete applications she was completely off the idea of a single sex school and only applied to one to please me (as she made abundantly clear). My feeling is that she’d spoken to a few of her friends who were not supportive. In any case, I think it’s best to go in the direction the kid is naturally drawn.</p>
<p>I agree with Periwinkle that there are big differences between middle school and high school. Firstgen’s personal experience was at high school though, albeit a generation ago. And I’d say that the boy culture that is being described here is very similar to the athletic boy culture at prep school. All that stuff still happens; the difference is that in a co-ed environment, it’s not the primary culture, and can be more easily disregarded or put into perspective. It may well be that there are all-boy schools that also offer real alternatives. Again, all I’m suggesting is that families go into a visit at an all-boys school looking carefully at the culture.</p>