@TheGFG Thank you for your post, and it’s great to hear that your kids got into great schools. Reading this thread made me ask what was wrong with my kid. I’m wondering if the kids who are doing so many hours of activities get out of school earlier (my D’s last class is 4:10) and if they have some free periods during the day to get some work done (mine has no breaks other than lunch). It turns out my D will be doing less ECs this year than I had imagined. She has been doing about 5 hrs of HW/studying most nights mainly due to this one AP class. Like your kids, most we know go to bed very, very late, but my D really has to be in bed by 11 the absolute latest or she wouldn’t be able to do what she has to do each day (dancing 3hrs a day etc.) I always wonder how athletes like your function on not enough sleep. I guess youth comes into play:)
You are also right about scheduling differences from school to school. Around here, unlike at our large public, the private schools have activity periods built into the school day. That way, all the kids can do clubs without it interfering with sports or homework. For example, some of the Catholic schools have a half day every Wednesday, so that is when their non-athletic school-based activities meet.
The “clubs” at our school seem not to do much, unless by clubs you mean things like SciOly and AcDec? The clubs meet at lunch and do a few weekend things.
SciOly, AcDec, debate, model UN, etc., I don’t know how anyone would do them with a sport. It’s pretty much in the same afterschool block of time and with weekend events for both sports and those things, it wouldn’t work.
That’s a great idea, and it makes so much sense. It’s also humane lol @TheGFG
My daughter’s schedule is kind of ridiculous, high school dance team, 12 hrs a week of practices year round, extra practices during vacations and days off, another 6-8 hours at her dance studio per week to remain at that competitive level, NHS and CSF volunteer hours to get in, plus a few other clubs, 4 AP classes on campus and 3 college classes at the local community college. Thankfully she won’t have those college classes once dance competition season starts. Right now with college apps and test prep she just doesn’t sleep.
There isn’t a set rule about how many hours before it causes problems. It depends on the person, schedule, how much time is spent on academics, how things are prioritized, etc. I’d favor an approach of prioritizing what the student is passionate about and limiting when it gets to the point where it is interfering with other important things whether they be academics, social, family, sleep, etc.
When I was in high school, I didn’t spend much time on typical ECs. I did a quiz bowl like competition between schools, Math League, and some other math contests. All of these only involved showed up for the event, without any kind of practice, so the average between these was less than 2 hours per week. I tried band, but didn’t like it, so I did not pursue it beyond ~9th grade. I also didn’t spend a great amount of time on academics compared to other posts I’ve seen in this thread. Instead I spent most of my free time playing video games, and to a lesser extent online/board/card games. I played often enough to be mentioned in publication a couple times for being the first person to finish a game, which I may have listed on my college apps (do not recall for certain). I wouldn’t recommend this approach to others, but it worked out okay for me.
In college I became more open to new ECs. The different environment made a huge difference for me, and perhaps the extra time from not playing video games. This different environment included more obvious opportunities to pursue ECs I found interesting, as well as generally enjoying spending time at college much more than I did in HS. I was on 2 sports teams for a period (not at same time), one of which exceeded the NCAA 20 hour per week rule, when you include travel time and such. I also had part time jobs (2 at the same time at one point), started a business, assisted with research, was involved in clubs, etc. It was enough to take time from studying, so I often combined activities, such as studying while traveling or when possible while working out or on job (favored taking jobs that allowed this). I finished my degrees ahead of schedule and did well enough to get in to the 2 graduate programs I applied to at Stanford, but likely would have had a higher GPA and pursued more social activities, with fewer ECs.
My S is a junior, and he’s in the following clubs:
Drama Club / Thespian
Anime Club
Science Fiction Club
Writers Society
When he’s in a play or a musical (roughly half the year), the rehearsals are 12 - 15 hours a week.
The other clubs are 5-6 hours a week.
He’s taking 5 weighted classes (3 APs, 2 Honors) plus a DE class at the local CC. He does not have a part-time job.
On rehearsal nights, he gets home around 6:30 pm and homework starts at 7. He’s usually done between 9 and 10 pm. It’s a rare night that he’s up til 11. On non-rehearsal nights, he gets home around 4:30 or 5 and usually has homework done by 7,
This is his third year doing roughly this schedule. Fourth, actually, since he started with drama in 8th grade. It’s given him excellent time & workload management skills. It’s not at all unusual for him to be doing homework on Monday night that’s not due until Thursday or Friday because he knows he doesn’t want a backlog on rehearsal nights.
My S is a junior. This year he’s taking six AP classes. This semester he’s also taking a four-hour test prep class every Saturday plus doing test prep on his own (2-3 hours per week). He runs cross country and track (15 hours a week) and has a part-time job as an IT tech (4-6 hours per week). Soon he will start Destination Imagination (4-15 hours per week depending what they’re working on) but by the time it really ramps up he’ll have already done his PSAT, SAT, and ACT and will have room in his schedule without all the test prep. He’s in a competitive STEM magnet program at a large competitive Texas high school, and his ECs pale in comparison to his classmates who are winning national prizes at ISEF while leading multiple clubs AND excelling in music or sports. He doesn’t really aspire to a super selective college though, and should be well within the auto admit range for the Texas schools (currently in the top 2% and unlikely to drop out of the top 7%). His magnet program is well known by the UT Austin CS department and his headmaster tells me the students from that program have never had a problem getting into UT Austin CS. So although my S doesn’t have any leadership or community service ECs, I don’t worry about it because he isn’t dreaming of CalTech or Stanford or MIT.
I think most HS’s do. IIRC, it was a 2.0 average, but my parents would not have allowed sports with a 2.0.
This will vary by school/sport/coach. I did a lot of HW on the bus going to away games, and sometimes read a book between sets on weight training days. For regular practice though, there was not enough downtime to be practical, plus the teachers weren’t really enamored with receiving HW covered in dirt. 
^^In Texas, the public schools are governed by the UIL (University Interscholastic League, odd name for an organization that oversees high school activities) no-pass no-play rules. It isn’t up to the individual districts or schools. And UIL encompasses more than sports; debate, band, academic competitions, etc all come under the UIL umbrella.
In California is is CIF. Same thing.Governs athletic eligibility and competitions.
@citymama9 What I posted was D’s schedule last year. She just started junior year but because her schedule is still changing, I don’t know yet how it will be this year.
In any case, D gets out of school at 2:30pm. Home by 2:40pm, gets right to hw. No down time. Works straight to 6pm. Eats dinner while watching dumb TV. Leaves for practice at 6:30pm. Back home by 9:45pm (this includes at least 30 min of socializing in the locker room). Chats on her phone for 20+min. Leaves her phone charging downstairs and in bed by 10:15pm. Up next morning before 7am.
Works Friday evening shift and volunteers Sunday afternoon. Studies here and there on weekends, but mostly either socializing or competing at sporting events. During HS season, will sometimes miss practice to compete in week night events. Will also miss practice when there’s a major test the next day. Also, for half of the school year, she has one free period when she can study. But never gets less than 8 hrs of sleep.
I also know that she skips classes sometimes during school to hang out with friends or bf. I don’t talk to her about it as long as she keeps bringing home those straight A’s.
@bestmom888 thanks so much. that was very helpful
I wonder if any parents on CC let their kid play sports with a GPA below 3.0. I won’t.
@citymama9 Another thing I want to mention is that D never does all of her hw. She seems to have a group of friends in each of her classes with whom she divies up the hw or takes turns doing it. They post pictures of their work on their group chats so that everyone else can copy. She tells me that EVERYONE does it, Do your or anyone else’ kids do this? Because that certainly cuts down the hours needed to do hw…
^ really?! That’s called cheating.
@bestmom888, I have very heard of such.
My daughter and all of her friends do this, it’s mostly for study guides and vocabulary in AP English and science classes. According to the teachers it’s ok, they are tasked with learning the material, how the complete the study guides is up to them. I thought it sounded shady so I investigated and was told it’s fine.
The vast majority of D17’s homework this year is writing up labs in HL chem, studying for HL chem, and then writing, writing, and writing some more in her other IB classes. There’s just no way to get around it.
@bestmom888 No. I would imagine that the teacher would notice if everyone gets the same wrong and right answers