<p>I started a similar thread for the students and I've been so touched and informed by their responses. Wondered if anyone would be interested in letting them see how the other half thinks.</p>
<p>My three would be:</p>
<p>1) Acknowledge how wonderful and accomplished you are as a person, student, athlete and take joy in it.</p>
<p>2) Continue to seek your independence from me, but maybe with a little less rejection?</p>
<p>3) Talk to me, about anything. Just talk to me.</p>
<p>Dizzymom</p>
<p>I have two very different children so I would have to have 3 very different things to change about them. For my daughter, the three would be 1) better organizational skills, 2) better ability to deal with stressful situations 3) greater self-confidence in her own path in life. For my son 1) better control over his temper 2) the understanding that not every acquaintance is a true friend 3) more compassion for others.</p>
<p>1) I bought you a car. Why am I still taking you everywhere important? Drive it somewhere that helps ME.</p>
<p>2) Do you and your Mother have to communicate by yelling? It sounds like The Blue Mountain Hollerin' Contest when you two get going.</p>
<p>3) Would you please use that great big brain of your's to invent an Einstein machine so we can go back to 1987 and do it all again? Just one more time, I promise.</p>
<p>I wouldn't change a thing. Really. </p>
<p>I'm not saying my kids are perfect. Just that I love the imperfections and quirks just as much as their strongest qualities.</p>
<p>I will admit that neither of my kids is living at home right now. I do know that when they are home I don't like the part about finding a sink full of dirty dishes when I get up in the morning. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder....</p>
<p>Curmudgeon, Are you sure your real name isn't Dave Berry?</p>
<p>I wouldn't change much. So far I'd say that D1 keeps an incredibly messy room and D2 watches too much TV. But if those are the the worst kid-related headaches I ever have to deal with I will be truly blessed.</p>
<p>for oldest
be able to manage ADD tad better
Less anxiety about things like driving
umm I will get back to you on number3
youngest
less anxiety overall
more confidence</p>
<p>Since I have no kids and I can read my dads mind I will go that direction.</p>
<ol>
<li> I wouldn't have him drink so much.</li>
<li> He should have found Laci's real killer.</li>
<li> Damnit Joe, dont drink so much.</li>
</ol>
<p>Although I could wish he were a bit more ambitious for himself, given the incredible talents he has been blessed with, I can't really wish for any changes at all. Anything different would make him a different person, and I wonder almost daily how I could possibly have been given the gift of a son such as the one I have-- a gentle spirit, a strong heart, a loving mind, and a complicated, powerful intellect--I'd be a fool to ask for a clean room or more ambition. </p>
<p>A butterfly flaps its wings in the rainforest and a hurricane develops over the ocean. I woudn't change the smallest thing.</p>
<p>We just got back from the mother/daughter college search road trip....</p>
<p>Big discussion.... lots of tears. So now, in that context....</p>
<ol>
<li><p>I wish she would have more confidence in herself.</p></li>
<li><p>Take an objective look at who she is surrounding herself with at this time. Okay, that's obscure but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings on such a public forum.</p></li>
<li><p>Seize this opportunity and use her good stats to reach further than her own (rather large) backyard (Texas).</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Hmmm... I could think of a few things I'd like to change about my kids, but they would not be themselves anymore. So I'll pass up.</p>
<p>I'd like my daughter to improve her posture and stand up straighter. She'd still be my daughter--she would just look taller.</p>
<p>Three things??? That's not enough. But I'll give it a shot...for CMU daughter for now...will come back for the others...HA!</p>
<ol>
<li><p>STOP!!!!! telling me you don't need my help and then call me to correct every mistake you made!!! e.g. HER: "I need bakeware! How can I bake without bakeware? Can't make brownies, cookies, etc. without BAKEWARE!!" So, ME: "Okay, I'll buy you bakeware," then carrying 30 extra lbs on the plane so dad and I have to rearrange suitcase loads as the plane refuses to take me or my luggage! Call last night....HER:
"Tell mom there is NO pie pan in that bakeware set. How could she? She knew I had to bake an apple pie for sleeping bag weekend!!!" ME: "DUH!!!!"</p></li>
<li><p>Buy your own damn clothes! e.g. HER: "You know, you're leaving me here in boring Pittsburgh and you and dad are going off to Bavaria for a week. DRAT! How 'bout you buy me some Birkenstocks?? Love those Birkenstocks...in brown, okay?" ME: "Brown leather....and oh..what size?" HER: "Yeah, whatever." ME: in a high pitched shrill.."But, what size?" HER: "Whatever." After carting shoebox of brand new Birkenstocks direct from Munich to her apt. HER: "These are NOT brown suede!!! I asked for brown suede...and look! They're too small...my toes are over the front edge! How can I wear these???" ME: mumbling swear words under my breath, "I'll wear them! Oh look..your roommate has smaller feet than you, you can give them to her as a Christmas gift." HER: "They're fine...they're made to mold to your feet." ME: "Duh!"</p></li>
<li><p>In anticipation of what is YET to occur....There are times mom is right about silly things...like the weather in Pittsburgh. ME: "Don't you think you're going to need a winter hat? It gets very cold in Pittsburgh." HER: "Oh, chill, ma. I have a scarf....that's all I will need. I bought this in Nova Scotia...Isn't it cool?" showing me flimsy open-knitted scarf that perhaps the cat might have dragged in. ME: "Whatever." Can't wait for the NEXT phone call....sometime in early December, I suppose...It should go like this: HER: "Ma, it's FREEEEEZING here! How could you send me to a school like this without a winter hat!" ME: "Duh!"</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I appreciate that some parents wouldnt' change anything about their kids, but when your 14 yr old is afraid to go around the block or downstairs by herself even though she can do things like snowboard a blackdiamond run, I wouldn't hesitate to take some of that anxiety away.
I would like to have some of her pictures back too, she used to cut her face out of any she found out of the few we managed to take.
Another scissors story that is too recent to be funny.
She cuts up lots of her tee shirts that are supposedly too small and makes them one shoulder- tied up the front and other odd things that her sister says is "punk".
Ok I don't get too upset although I do try and keep the scissors hidden from her.
But the latest straw is when I found her brandnew soccer uniform that hadn't even been washed yet with a new "scoop" neckline.:eek: I have no idea where she thought she was going to be able to wear that!</p>
<p>Carolyn, with regard to Curmudgeon's funny posts, did you mean Dave Barry, instead of Dave Berry? I would think you meant Dave Barry but uh, Dave Berry might get a kick out of your post. </p>
<p>Sgio....loved your post. Ah, some of these teenagers can drive one nuts at times, so I can relate! </p>
<p>I feel funny posting what I would change about my child, given that some have posted they would not change a thing and love them as they are and if they were to change them, they would not be the same kid. I do agree with that of course, and truly love both my kids. That does not necessarily mean that there are some things that would make it easier to live with or be more desirable for me, even though they are who they are. There are definitely some moments that are challenging that I wish went differently, even though they are who they are personality-wise. </p>
<p>Also, I feel my list looks so unbalanced and implies that one kid is better than the other which is simply not true. One, however, is easier to parent than the other, so I guess that is more what I mean. I love both the same and both are who they are and I accept that. One is just more challenging to parent. </p>
<p>For oldest D, I would have to think hard as to what to change. Right now, I can only think of the most minor thing....speak louder sometimes so I am not always saying "what?" Then again, I have seen her give speeches in front of crowds of folks and speak loudly and with conviction but in every day dialogue, sometimes she is so soft spoken that I think I am asking "what?" often. Surely this is sooooooo minor. She happens to be delightful and has been so easy to parent along the way. NO attitude like most teen girls often display (I now realize she is the exception and my other D is more the norm). I have never had to discipline her, which seems rather rare to me. So, this does not make her better but simply easier for me. </p>
<p>Second daughter....love her....so many strengths and positive attributes. But since this thread is to do with things we might change....I would love if:
-she were cooperative with me
-she was respectful to me
-she was more organized/responsible and took care of her things
-she picked up after herself
-she acted more appreciative of what I do for her</p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>Heh, heh, Guess I've been reading College Confidential too long. I'm mixing up Dave Berry with Dave Barry now. :)</p>
<p>While I love what Ctymom wrote, I wish my S would stop slouching, stop losing things (like cell phones), and call home once in an eternity.</p>
<p>Despite thousands of attempts to 'improve' :) manners, habits etc, over the course of eighteen years, I wouldn't want direct responsibiiltiy for "three changes". </p>
<p>What if you get it wrong? What if you dampen some characteristic that will lead them through life? </p>
<p>I'm big enough to admit that some of my previous interferences were downright terrible--like the two prom dates I arranged for older son. :p. I'm lucky he still loves me!</p>
<p>Emeraldkity - my daughter cuts up everything too. I also have lost some treasured photos and seen her take the scissors to newly purchased clothes - though fortunately she also sews, so I've learned that the clothes are merely being customized. Neck lines come down, and the tops of jeans get cut down to make them into low riders. Oh - and I hide my good scissors not to keep her from cutting, but because once she gets hold of the scissors they disappear into the black hole of her room and I never see them again. </p>
<p>But like I said above, I wouldn't change a thing. We've had a few fights -- but life is much more interesting this way. The thing I really like about my daughter is there is always something new with her -- life with her is like being inside a tv sitcom, a new comical misadventure every week.</p>
<p>If I could change one thing, I would give my kids parents who were more attuned to their needs and personalities.</p>