<p>Northstarmom - I've found that my kids already have that, though for my daughter, I've had to accept that the "attuned" one is my ex - her Dad - who seems to share and fully understand her most annoying traits. (At least I know who to blame). On the other hand, Dad can't fathom our son -- who has all MY most annoying qualities -- and I feel that my son is practically my clone in terms of personality. Sometimes the key to good parenting is to have two, very different parents, and a good sense of when to back off and let the other one take charge.</p>
<p>I'd like to give my daughter some of the ability to scheme and manipulate and "network" that I'd like to take away from my son.... For that matter, I'd like some of it for myself....</p>
<p>I like the not slouching issue myself.... As for son #1, continuing with the orthopedic theme, I used to wish he wasn't so flat footed-it has impacted his enjoyment of physical activity and is not treatable without surgery. But if GWB has any inkling of reinstating the draft, I happily will rescind this wish. For son#2...not a darn thing.
DD (age 9) thankfully has enough idiosyncracies that she will keep me busy and distracted once #2 leaves in August...and for that I am grateful.</p>
<p>S cannot be drafted if he is flat-footed (I have one too). Bean to dollars GWB goes into Iran within 18 months.</p>
<p>I would have wanted their mother to have been born VERY wealthy!! LOL</p>
<p>Cheers, are you sure about flat-feet being a draft disqualifier? My D (as well as my S) is flat footed, but that was not the thing that the DOD medical board sited as the disqualifier for the Air Force Academy. I've also been told by other people that flat feet no longer preclude a person from military service. </p>
<p>I do hope you're right, however. I would love to know that my children's flat feet would keep them out of godforsaken places, like Faluja.</p>
<p>"Bean to dollars GWB goes into Iran within 18 months."</p>
<p>Wherever would GWB find the troops to send into Iran? The Draft? I don't think so. He can't reinstate the draft without the approval of Congress. And Congress (not even a Republican Congress) isn't about to grant him that permission, nor another blank check to go to war---especially not preimptively. It ain't happenin'. You credit Bush with far too much power. He couldn't have marched troops into Bagdad without the consent of Congress (some of whom were Democrats), no matter how unilateral people now believe that action to have been. </p>
<p>It is a whole new ballgame now. The only way the American people would agree to an invasion of Iran would be if the Iranian Government launched or directly sponsored a catastrophic terrorist attack against us here at home---and the proof of such would have to be irrefutable. As evil as you assume GWB to be, he does not have the powers of a dictator. We ain't going into Iran without compelling reason.</p>
<p>Sorry about the derailment...</p>
<p>Now, what would I change about my kids? Hummmm....</p>
<p>I'd have my daughter become a little more assertive, and less shy (she sometimes wonders if she suffers from some form of Social Anxiety Disorder.). </p>
<p>I'd have my son take his GPA more seriously, excercise a little more self discipline, and pick his clothes up off the floor of his room. Thankfully, however, I'm already seeing signs of the first two things beginning to happen.</p>
<p>Concerneddad,
LOL ! More LOL !</p>
<p>Calmom,
I share the same sentiment that I would not like to change anything. Not that they are perfect. But as Maya Angelou says, 'they are more than perfect - they are real'. Actually I think she said that about women. I just stole her :-)</p>
<p>A few years ago, I used to get irritated and annoyed by the dirty sinks, dirty linen, clothes strewn on the floor etc. But of late, after my elder son moved into HS, the feeling that he and his bro will be leaving soon has been growing on me. I am like 'I will even miss all this mess..'. Since then, I stopped saying anything, and would quietly clean up myself. Then, oh miracle, something came over them, a mixture of guilt, sympathy, compassion and other stuff I think, and then it all became 'mom, we will do it, just go relax'. </p>
<p>Also, I always try to remember my own mind and heart when I was 14, whenever I try to negotiate anything with my children. I use the memory to decide how to ask and how much to ask. </p>
<p>I also remember the prayer, God give me the wisdom to see the difference (between what can be changed and what cannot be). So I never wish for what cannot be changed. Yes, improvement should always be there, in all of, and all our lives, not just in childhood. If we want them to improve, we need to show them how we improve on something in ourselves. Children are like the monkeys in the 'man, hats and monkeys' story. They just imitate us.</p>
<p>The clean rooms would be nice, but at least they keep their doors shut. Wealthy parents would be nice too (thanks concerneddad). I'd like them to understand how to 'network' better, but they still see it as sort of 'sucking up' rather than a useful social skill. They would like to be better athletes, but I only care about that because they care about it. One is a tad bit lazy, but has the kindest heart of anyone I know, which cancels out the laziness in my book. He also has some health problems, so that would be all I would change - a strong, healthy body.</p>
<p>I wish my daughter:
-weren't quite so naive, I think she's in for some rude awakenings
-would contact me more or, at least, not always rush to get off the phone when I call e.g. me: how are you? her: I'm sick again me: oh, I'm sorry to hear that her: well, I've got a lot to do so I have to go.</p>
<p>I wish my son:
-didn't provide enough fodder for a five page thread ("the sullen son")
-wore his retainer to preserve the results of $4200 braces!</p>
<p>LOL about the retainer fredo. I've noticed the retainer sittng in the same position on son's bathroom sink for a week now.....and the braces have only been off for about 6 months. He tells me that he "needs" bonding...just to perfect what the retainer is supposed to handle. Bonding? </p>
<p>I wouldn't change anything except that he would have better body genes so that he could worry less about muscle mass, whey protein shakes and the gym.</p>
<p>I wasn't going to participate because I thought my daughter would hate me for it, but that retainer bit got me going. Besides, she never reads CC.
1. Stop wearing low-slung jeans that show her "cleavage."
2. Stop telling me she has been wearing the retainer when I know darn well she has not.
3. Stop throwing books and papers on the floor around the bed when the desk and bookcase are two steps away.
BONUS #4: Stop pretending she doesn't know how to do laundry.</p>
<p>Patty, I too can relate to the retainer. Plus I can relate to the fact that she would kill me if she read my posts on this thread but she does not read CC. Lastly, as far as pretending to not know how to do laundry, I have major issues just getting her to put her laundry in the pail for me to do as I draw the line in going around her room looking for it all over the floor, etc. </p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>RE: Needs BONDING.......do you think he might mean in the biblical sense? Only kidding.</p>
<p>heaven forbid sgiovinc1...I'm "sure" he doesn't mean that kind because he's a perfect angel :) Riiiiiight!</p>
<p>Ok, so I guess the retainer problems are typical! LOL</p>
<ol>
<li>That my daughter would only use one towel in the shower, instead of three at a time. </li>
<li>That she wouldn't change her clothes when she gets home from school (wear them about 4 hours) and then put on pajamas, and all 3 sets of clothing go into the laundry basket. I'm doing a full load for just her everyday.</li>
<li>That on weekends its not necessary to go to Starbucks, out to dinner, and to the movies with friends, while her parents stay home because we have no $, it was all given to her!</li>
</ol>
<p>Sounds familiar!!</p>
<p>Lowermorelandmom, Why don't you teach her to do her own laundry???</p>
<p>Searchingavalon: you are kidding arent you??? My first S, a former Physics major and graduate of Harvard U.....when he came home from college claimed he NEVER learned how to use a washing machine!!! He only made the final round of the US PHYSICS team and could not turn on the washer NOR the stove for that matter. I call it "selective" learning.</p>