If You Could Do It All Over Again

<p>@GMTplus7, which school did your son choose?</p>

<p>My daughter applied to seven boarding schools and she got accepted to four schools.
We broke down schools in tiers, Tier 1 (top schools), Tier 2 (middle/very good schools) & Tier 3 (safety).
My daughter does very well in school and she plays a number of sports. So we looked at schools with a balance between academics, sports, community service and the arts. </p>

<p>If you’re a parent and you’re interested in sending your child to BS, start the application process now.
Research each school, visit each school, rank them and visit them again before you fill out and pay the application fees.
If your son or daughter isn’t a strong test taker, prepare to take the SSAT/ISEE exam more than once. My daughter worked with a tutor and used study guides. Personally, the Ivy Global SSAT test prep guides were a great resource to use. You can purchase the books on amazon</p>

<p>My regrets:

  1. I started the process in the Summer and it was a bit stressful. Now is the best time to start.
  2. My daughter received multiple acceptance offers and it was very difficult making a decision. </p>

<p>If anyone has a question, I’ll be more than happy to help. Just send me a message.</p>

<p>Best of luck</p>

<p>@dadcoach, Diy your d apply for FA? Did she go to public or private for middle school?</p>

<p>Wait
 @dadcoach You started your process in the Summer and it was stressful??? I started my process at one school in September and two others in November. I agree with starting as early as you can but being stressed out and having 5-7 months to apply is a bit extreme. Also what schools did your daughter apply to and get into? And I wouldn’t complain about having to choose between schools around here
</p>

<p>@needtoboard I know there’s a lot going on here, but there’s no need to harsh on @dadcoach. This thread is about what we’d do different and passing on information for others. Paying it forward. </p>

<p>This is the second time we’ve been through the process. And similar to dadcoach we started early and had a bunch of stress throughout. That’s the biggest lesson – starting early doesn’t equal less stress; the stress just fills the available space. With that, you can get more done which is what is needed.</p>

<p>We started in the summer gathering materials and talking about schools. We visited over 12 schools. Interviews at 11. Applied to 8 schools – from Canterbury to Groton. A very wide field since we needed 80%+ FA.</p>

<p>My D2 took the SSAT three times; the first two were heartbreakingly bad. We’d used tutors, but finally I ended up tutoring her myself. Her SSAT still wasn’t great. ‘Next time’ I’d learn the SSAT tricks early and make sure my child knew them cold too.</p>

<p>My daughter had a great year at a private middle school. She’s got sports, EC, and leadership going for her. Her counselors and the headmaster went to bat for her. But we didn’t take anything for granted until the end. </p>

<p>On M10 she had a number of acceptances to choose from; and we’re very thankful to the schools, AO’s, and coaches at all of the schools we applied to.</p>

<p>@steelguy, I do admit I came of as a bit harsh, but I did not mean to. I like what you had to say about how starting early does not equal less stress and now I understand. Rereading that post, I do sound like a jerk and I apologize for my ignorant comments.</p>

<p>@needtoboard, I was new to the boarding school process and I’m just sharing my thoughts. If my comments bothered, too bad. </p>

<p>@steelguy, thanks for posting your comment. It’s great for parents to read and share information.</p>

<p>@steelguy, congratulations to your daughter. I went through the same experience. Great job!</p>

<p>The purpose of this post is for us to share our experiences, good or bad with fellow parents.</p>

<p> @needto,

</p>

<p>S1 had 2 weeks to apply (we decided at xmas time to pursue BS). We weren’t even sure whether he would b able to take the SSAT because he was only able to register late as a “standby” for the Jan date. Now that was stress!!!</p>

<p>For S2, we planned 2 years in advance, and it was still stressful. Once we arrived in the U.S. for tours/interviews, S2 finally spoke up that he didn’t want to visit half the schools I spent 2 years researching bcs they didn’t offer his EC. I was literally in the rental car cancelling appts at some schools and calling other schools to beg for a slot for the nxt day. So much for planning
</p>

<p>@GMTplus7, I have talked to @dadcoach and I have sent him my sincerest apologies. I now understand the stress that has no correlation to time and I won’t be making anymore ignorant comments like that.</p>

<p>I agree that work/stress expands so as to fill the time remaining
 like ideal gas.</p>

<p>So I’d plan the process with family personalities/dynamics in mind.
If you and child prefer working under pressure and adrenaline rush, don’t start the app until November.
If you or child crack under pressure, start early in May. </p>

<p>The point is that it is possible to start the process too early. The interests of adolescents evolve VERY quickly. S2’s non-negotiable EC was something he started in Sep; his interviews were in Oct. In the end, all the schools he applied to offered the EC.</p>

<p>When evaluating what schools might be a good fit, one should reexamine how the child has developed since the last one time considering fit. </p>

<p>

Too bad? I know @needtoboard‌ 's comments may have come off as harsh, but I was shocked by @dadcoach‌ 's even more harsh reply. I mean she did just finish giving you a quite sincere apology and even admitted that her actions were wrong. Shouldn’t we be mature here and be able to quite frankly, build a bridge and get over it? Not trying to be rude, but sometimes when I see things like this, it truly upsets me. People are holding grudges over one simple comment on the internet that was apologized for. Sorry for the rant.</p>

<p>^Thanks for defending me @prepschoolhopes, but I’m a guy
</p>

<p>Ooopss
oh well @needtoboard‌ </p>

<p>Regarding the pitfalls of starting too early
 We live in Madagascar. Our son is in 7th grade and will be applying for the 9th grade. That means we will be applying to schools this fall, and coming to the states to visit them in early December. We began the preparation process this past January, because the things we need to accomplish require time. </p>

<p>(1) We needed to help our son understand our decision to send him to boarding school (the high school here is simply not up to our standards) and be on board about it. Check. He totally gets it and agrees with the decision. </p>

<p>(2) We need to get him familiar with the SSAT, everything from the content to test taking tips. We are doing that. </p>

<p>(3) We need time for him to reflect on his life and experiences in a meaningful way. We’ve lived throughout Africa since he was a baby. Our lifestyle is fascinating to people outside of our experience, but it is completely normal to him. Being a 13-year-old, he has really never stopped to think about what it all means, and how it sets him apart from his peers. That process of self-reflection is just that - a process - that must be thought through meaningfully. We are helping him to do that. </p>

<p>(4) He needs interview practice. He is a soft-spoken and reserved person, and very unassuming. If you get him talking about science or art or Greek and Roman mythology, he can run with the best of them. Ask him about himself, and you might think he doesn’t understand your language. We are working with him to be more comfortable talking about himself and his experiences. </p>

<p>All of this takes time. We are working with him in each of these areas at a leisurely, but deliberate, pace. I believe he will experience a lot of personal growth during this process, and if we can do it without adding unnecessary pressure, we will have achieved something more than just a BS acceptance.</p>

<p>@MadagascarMom‌, just a quick tip. Have him interview with people he is comfortable receiving criticism from but that he respects, doesn’t know very well, and maybe intimidate him a bit. One of your colleagues you’re friendly with might fit this bill, or a teacher or friend’s parent. It was very helpful for me, and I got some great tips. I was much more comfortable with the actual interviewers as a matter of fact!</p>

<p>I’ve posted a few separate posts on here, I want to combine everything into one. First of all, I’d apply to more schools. Second, I’d make sure to meet with the head of the English and Spanish departments. In my application, I’d outline my family situation, and lastly, I just wouldn’t go in with so much hope.</p>