<p>ELW,
If the parent is showing progress after the kid states that they are interested in a boarding school. Not if the parent isn’t improving when a child states that they are interested in boarding school.</p>
<p>NOTICE “possibly” in the excerpt that you quoted.</p>
<p>You are only being cruel to yourself if you put your entire life on hold for your parent. The key concept here is resentment, and it is a terribly consuming feeling that just eats away at you. I also believe that some of you are muddling the parent-child relationship. Who is supposed to be the care-giver in that relationship? The answer should be obvious. THE PARENT</p>
<p>That is not true at all, unique6. So when a parent is old and sickly, the child doesn’t need to care for them at all? That’s ludicrous. Furthermore, since when did this turn into putting your whole life on hold for your parent? If you don’t go to boarding school, your ENTIRE life is on hold? Honestly, not going to boarding school isn’t going to hinder your life from progressing.</p>
<p>And if one resents having to care for another human being, instead of just themself, that person should learn more about “Non Sibi” and what life is all about.</p>
<p>Haven’t you heard of parents kicking their children out of the home for bad behavior? They don’t need to provide you with any thing if they don’t want to and I don’t believe there is any such thing written into the constitution to do so.</p>
<p>Omg, lolagirl you beat me to it. I think ludicrous is an appropriate adjective.</p>
<p>Once again, this is a question of opportunity, not boarding school. Also, I wasn’t talking about when the parent is old and the child is grown up. I’m referring to other teens here, so I don’t know why you are using a different situation entirely just to substantiate your point. I’m speaking of when the child is a teenager, and every child should have the opportunity to have a strong role model and support system in their life. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always happen. I think you are being a bit judging especially since you don’t even know what it is like to be in that situation. Non-Sibi does represent caring for others, but everybody needs to know their limits. If your heart truly isn’t in it, you will only start to resent, and you can’t just force yourself to always keep giving. There always needs to be a line drawn somewhere. So please think twice before you call somebody ludicrous (especially since I’ve been there done that, and you haven’t). Just because you disagree with somebody doesn’t mean you get to bash them. Understanding and respecting the views of others is something that Andover appreciates (since you seem so inclined to bring BS values into this).</p>
<p>To be fair to the OP, I think it is time to go back to the original topic of this thread. :(</p>
<p>ADDITIONALLY, at times I do in fact resent taking care of my mother. Why? It’s not because I don’t love her because I very much do. It’s because I feel like I’m giving too much of myself away. I feel like I’m carrying a lot of responsibility, and I start to feel the burden of all the pressure to be responsible for another human being at such a young age. Also, I am human. I am not going to be altruistic all the time. I save that for those more saintly than myself. I’m used to pulsar’s nonsense, but I really am disappointed in you, lolagirl. I don’t mind other people having different points and views. I don’t mind when they express them either, but what really bugged me was how attacking you were. You insulted me because you didn’t agree with me. Also, you say that my opinion is “not true at all.” Obviously there is some truth in it. I see parents taking care of kids all the time. Maybe you should have said that my view is not always true. You called me ludicrous, but I’m seeing a bit of closed-mindedness. I’m not calling you that due to your opinion. I’m saying your closed-minded because you shut down mine.</p>
<p>Pulsar walks out of the kitchen.</p>
<p>People who have kids that behave badly enough to get kicked out of their own home are clearly not particularly good at raising kids. 
</p>
<p>I think this forum would run so much more smoothly if users would stop being so BLUNT.</p>
<p>exactly… none of us understand unique6’s situation so i think it’s a good idea to STOP PASSING JUDGMENT. none of us (i’m assuming) are in his/her situation so we have no right to be “righteous” or judgemental. </p>
<p>now let’s get back on topic <3</p>
<p>Yes, back to the original topic.
If I get accepted, it all depends on how much FA I get. If my parents can’t afford it, then I can’t go. But, if my parents can afford it I would go in a heartbeat. I’ve wanted to go to boarding school since early seventh grade, and I’m still just as passionate about going as I was in October last year.</p>
<ol>
<li>“I also believe that some of you are muddling the parent-child relationship. Who is supposed to be the care-giver in that relationship?”</li>
</ol>
<p>It is not my fault that you were blunt. I am supposed to gather from that statement and question that you DON’T mean the parent-child relatioship? And that you mean only part of the relationship? OK.</p>
<ol>
<li>“I think you are being a bit judging especially since you don’t even know what it is like to be in that situation.”</li>
</ol>
<p>Wow, you are judging and jumping to a conclusion from what I’ve written. I have never been in a situation similar to that? I’m glad you can discover people’s life experiences from their posts. Your argument against judging is obviously faulty seeing as you have judged me. And incorrectly, might I add. </p>
<p>3.“You called me ludicrous, but I’m seeing a bit of closed-mindedness.”
Can you please show me where I called YOU ludicrous? I’m pretty sure I stated that your statement was ludicrous.</p>
<p>I do however change my viewpoint after re-reading this thread. Thank you for having this conversation with me and for putting up with my immaturity. </p>
<p>"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” - Carl Jung</p>
<p>Hey, lola. After rereading my post and yours, I think that I read a bit too much into yours. The difficulty in these forums is that you don’t have the ability to see facial expressions and hear tones of voice when you read these messages. The whole message can be very misconstrued, and I think we just had a hideously large miscommunication. I will shoulder quite a bit of the blame on this part. I also inferred that you’ve never been in the situation because you referred to your friend who is in this situation. I believed that you would have referred to yourself if you had lived or are living through similar circumstances. I hope we can move on, and I am very glad that I have been able to share my insights you. I’ve also appreciated yours! FWIW, I am taking this new cold medication that makes me very drowsy in the evening. Couple that with my insomnia, and we’ve got a big mess on our hands! I really wasn’t thinking clearly last night, but that is no excuse. I sincerely have no ill-wishes towards you, and I hope you feel the same.<br>
Back to the topic, as an FP applicant, I can’t say that I know what it is like to apply for FA. I’m not even going to insult people by pretending that I know what I’m talking about in regards to that process. However, I am quite interested to see how a lot of the applicants feel about applying for FA. Do you feel that it is hindering you? I kinda want to know the emotions behind this. Please know that I am not just some “rich kid” trying to make fun, but I really would appreciate the opportunity to glimpse at the mindsets of others. Also, I think that my question could spur on some great conversation for this thread! From what I’ve noticed, the emotions involving the FA process are not really discussed that much here.</p>
<p>I actually haven’t thought much about the Financial Aid aspect.</p>
<p>Any one having second thoughts about going? Worry about leaving all your friends and family behind? How are you planning to continue your ECs that you are currently in?</p>
<p>That last one was a good question, pulsar. I am sure that there are many southern or west coast sports not offered by the NE boarding schools. Horseback riding rings a bell…</p>