<p>“Based on what Field has said about her child, this student may have issues that sending him far away is not a good idea.” - I agree. It’s even possible that college will not be his cup of tea. But he’s young, so for now I’d skip the college visits until he gives more signs that he’d be academically ready. </p>
<p>His organization problems are very common. I suggest this book, "That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week: Helping Disorganized and Distracted Boys Succeed in School and Life ". I can’t say whether it will give any answers, but you learn that there are parents of boys (and a few girls too) that share your frustrations. Good luck!</p>
<p>This is what I was getting at with the suny search. I think you’ll find that the SUNY CC and technical colleges are not clones of each other. They tend to be strong in one or more of the trades, but are certainly not universal. For example, if your S had an interest in the renewable energy business (from the technical side), Hudson Valley CC would be the best choice as they have an entire program and facility geared specifically toward that. If he was interested in golf course management, Delhi would be the school to look at, etc. The point is, while 4-year schools tend to have “known” strengths in various programs, that is even more prominent at the tech/CC level. So I would spend some time getting familiar with what your “county” school offers and also look at programs offered at the others.</p>
<p>sk8rmom, good point. We are in the NYC area in NJ, not NYS (which is why our prices are higher). NY has a better state system, period. We’ve read up on Delhi, especially, and similar schools in other northeastern states, and I’ve delved into the details of the curricula for the various Associates of Technology degrees. But that is where the student needs to be clear about what they want to do, because those technical degrees are a practical immersion in the skills set for one particular career path. Very little of it is transferrable to a Bachelor’s. It’s definitely not the first two years, general ed, if you think you want a 4-year degree. Another reason not to overspend too soon.</p>
<p>mncollegemom, if I were to follow your advice, the best possible outcome would be that S would finish a degree before running out of money, at an open-enrollment school. And his odds of success with this venture are, unfortunately but realistically, not guaranteed. Can you explain why this would be better than finding his feet at an excellent community college, then transferring to what would probably be a better school, having some experience of living away, and graduating on budget, maybe even with some money left over to start his adult life? You have said “because he wants it” (although I know my son, and I don’t think he’d want the places you’re recommending; I am the one with the blue collar background and he is the one who has grown up in a rarefied environment). Is there any other reason you think the former is better than the latter?</p>
<p>There is a generalized notion that attending what mom2collegekids has called “sleep-away college” is automatically to be preferred to commuting, and that a 4-year institution is automatically to be preferred to a 2-year one. That a student or his/her family would deliberately choose otherwise goes against the instincts of some posters here. </p>
<p>Yes, my daughter had to start at a CC given our financial reality, and yes it was a struggle for me to accept that limit for her because it was so different from my own college experience. However, she has absolutely thrived at her CC, and has consistently earned grades I would not have imagined possible four years ago. She has earned the respect of professionals in her chosen career field, and is working steadily albeit part-time in that field already. She could walk out of her AA graduation and into a job if she wished. Not bad at all.</p>
<p>But what amazes me most is that she has no problem telling people “I really didn’t want to go away from home yet when I was still in high school. I’m glad I had more time at home.”</p>
<p>Sometimes we end up doing the right thing by our kids almost by accident.</p>
<p>To be honest, 2 years ago, we were in a similar situation. Our son, who is not LD, was your typical underachiever. Let’s just say, his grades were not impressive. Mostly, I believe he was just immature.</p>
<p>Fast forward to senior year: he is a (brand-new) honor roll student who has fantastic LOR’s from his teachers and guidance counselor. He has been accepted to several decent colleges (some with merit aid!)</p>
<p>My advice: It is not too late! Some boys are late-bloomers, and many schools are aware of this fact. My son wasn’t even contemplating college in 10th grade. He didn’t think he was “smart enough.”</p>
<p>There are a number of books that might be helpful to you and your son. Personally, The Colleges That Change Lives by Loren Pope changed my mind. Also, please check out the thread here for students with 3.0-3.3 GPA. (My son’s GPA is not even 3.0)</p>
<p>There is nothing wrong with community colleges, and they can be wonderful. But, if your son desires a typical college experience, all is not lost. Maybe visiting a couple of campuses will motivate him to work his hardest. One never knows…</p>
<p>That makes more sense now - thought from your OP that you were in NYS! Anyway, what you said above must be another difference between NY and NJ. For CC grads in NY, they transfer to the 4 year SUNY’s with gen eds considered complete and most of them have very good course articulation so they know going in that they’re satifsying pre-reqs for specific majors. (I know this is true for the AAS degrees, not sure about the AOS programs though.)</p>
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<p>Haha…that reminds me of my youngest. He was not inclined to study much in school but was offered various athletic scholarships. He decided that he really wanted a technical degree instead and is attending our CC. When I asked if he wanted to live there or go away to another CC or SUNY so he could get the “experience” he looked at me and said “No way I’m paying all that money to live in a concrete cell with some random kid and eating cafeteria food when I don’t have to!”. He has his own little apartment in our finished basement and is a happy commuter. He put the money he would have spent on room and board into buying the truck he wanted.</p>
<p>happymomof1, I love it. I am having a flashback now to the 1970s. I was a “good” student. My parents had very limited knowledge of the college admissions process, and no personal experience. It was my ambition to ultimately go to law school, and I wanted to go to a college that successfully sent a lot of people on to professional schools. My guidance counselor recommended two Ivys, with the state flagship as a backup. There was not enough money for the Ivys, and my dad pushed for a small, third tier public for financial reasons. I went to see it, and the head of admissions sat me down and said “we’d be very happy to have you, but what are you doing here?” Mom rejected the state flagship for its size, although I thought it would be fine.</p>
<p>Given their views, I thought I might do better to start at our very nice county college instead, and then transfer to a higher-end LAC or an Ivy, with the money being available for two years there instead of 4. My mother asked a better-educated friend for advice and the friend said “County college is not for our girls”. (This was a friend with a shore house and a yacht club membership.) So I went to a more modestly-priced private, one that represented a financial compromise between my parents but was essentially a finishing school, in keeping with the friend’s social construct of college, but not in keeping with my academic needs. I knew from the beginning that it was a mistake, and that I could have had two years at County and two years anywhere for the same price. I still see it that same way.</p>
<p>My parents would not hear of a transfer, and in fairness, they had other things on their minds and I survived. I said “Mom, won’t you come look at another school with me?” and she said “no!” and I said “if I ever got divorced and remarried, would you come to the second wedding?” and she said “no!” Good for your daughter.</p>
<p>familyof3boys, your experience is encouraging. I have the Pope book and I liked it. One of the things I like about the County option (where money is limited) is that it allows more time for late blooming, and for an ultimate college selection that’s predicated on who you turn out to be in your late teens.</p>
<p>With an 8-semester program tightly budgeted down to the dime from day 1 at a 4-year school, there is no margin for changing majors, missteps, or emerging as a stronger student and then opting for a better school. When you will barely make it through the 8 semesters financially, the school you pick in 12th grade is the school that will be on your diploma, selected on the basis of who you were at ages 14 to 17, and the best you can do is hang on for the ride and finish. That is limiting if you are a late bloomer. If there is money available for five or six years, changing majors or transferring, then of course you can have your cake and eat it, too. But that’s not our situation.</p>
<p>It sounds like you have a solid plan, and i admire you for it. One of my kids has a LD also, so i will be where you are in a few years. I hope your son can be happy with this very practical solution. I just want to say I am in the camp that thinks it may not be wise to visit any more four year schools, unless they are very realistic possibilities. There’s no point getting his hopes up. Maybe go on career exploration trips instead. I don’t know what he’s into, but are there places to go to get him excited about what he might want to do for a career? Just a thought.</p>
<p>redpoint, excellent thought. I agree that the focus should be more on career goal exploration than school consumption shopping. Unfortunately, as we all know, it’s difficult to find people who will let a kid hang out, ride along, etc. for a day. I almost replaced our boiler before its time because the plumber would let him hang out and cut pipe on the job. Of course, the new boiler would have set me back the equivalent of a year at County, so we are waiting until the old one is really finished. I do feel good that his swim teaching and volunteering with the disabled is exposing him, in a general and indirect sense, to athletic training, phys ed, special ed, and maybe some health care aspects. He helped an architect friend build a phenomenal outdoor structure in the architect’s yard. And he has done fabulous stuff with our landscaping. But growing up in this town, he still probably thinks he should be playing lacrosse at Johns Hopkins. Which ain’t happening with a 2.8, no honors or APs, low test scores. For me, the college tours (for example, to a place with a landscape architecture program, or state schools with athletic training programs) are meant to help him connect the dots, see how his interests could relate to actual academic programs that would prepare him for employment in the interests. I did get his HS to agree to confer credit for an internship in 12th grade if we can arrange the internship ourselves. Of course, I’d like to see him narrow his interests a bit before then, or at least pick something to focus on, so that we don’t squander that opportunity. Again, County offers practical courses in different attainable areas, and with no financial pressure to make every course count toward a degree, he can try things and see what resonates with him.</p>
<p>Field, if no one else mentioned it, at least one of the County’s in NJ has an articulation agreement with Rutgers. I asked before, have you spoken to your kid’s GC? They may be releived to hear from a parent who doesnt have unrealistic expecatations, and may have suggestions. Please PM me if your GC is not aware of any articulation, and I will check with my coworker whose kid goes there.</p>
<p>My D had very low grades (close to the bottom of her class) in HS & commuted to CC for 3 semesters (with mom driving to & fro) before transferring. She will have 7 semesters at EXPENSIVE dream private U & will be graduating with her HS classmates.</p>
<p>She had seen a few campuses with her brother (2 years older). She did not ask nor did we offer to take her on any college visits just for her. Her time at CC was wells-spent. She asked for & we paid for her to stay in the nice new apartment complex on her private U, so she could have “the freshman experience” as a transfer; she admitted to us & her brother that the place was vastly over-rated & overpriced, but no regrets & we were able to do it in part because of the savings of not having to pay at least one semester of private U. </p>
<p>At the CC, she was able to explore a lot of courses she may not have otherwise taken and take her time. It was good for her to have those extra 3 semesters. She did NOT get an associates degree from CC but will be getting her BA this May, IF all goes according to plan. <fingers crossed=""> Her transfer experience was fine–she only applied to ONE U–the one her brother was attending. We thought it was a long shot, as it’s quite competitive for admissions. When she got in, we were able to figure out how to make the finances work.</fingers></p>
<p>Personally, I think it’s a bad idea to have a kid apply to a school if you really have NO way or interest in paying for it when the application is submitted. It seems a cruel exercise and I agree that trying to line up “shadowing” career opportunities would be time & energy better spent. Our local CC has several interesting vocational careers–respiratory therapy, paramedics, physical therapy assistant, nursing, paralegal, graphic artist, culinary arts, and others. There is another CC that has auto body, welding, auto mechanics and other vocational options.</p>
<p>Our D flourished in CC–classes were small with often only about 20 students. The teachers were generally very good and often taught the exact SAME material at at the flagship U for many times the price. The food was excellent & reasonably-priced, due to the culinary arts program also on campus. The CC even had free parking & was only a few miles from our home (about a 10 minute or less drive).</p>
<p>Encouraging news. Our GC is up on articulation, likes County, agrees that $80,000 doesn’t get you solid 4 year options around here if high efc. His teachers seem to support college touring so that he will know what there is and might be inspired. I’m thinking touring yes, at schools that seem like reasonable post-county options, but actually submitting applications to places he really won’t be going that year, no. Put that time and effort into the studies. </p>
<p>It’s great that the GC is up on articulation & likes County. My D had to figure things out for herself, as she was the ONLY kid who ever transferred from CC to the private U she ended up attending. She contacted the admissions counselor at the private U & asked him/her what courses were likely to transfer & built her schedule around those recommendations. Most of her coursework DID transfer, which makes us all very happy!</p>
<p>Good that the GC is encouraging. Touring transfer schools sounds like a reasonable plan.</p>
<p>I don’t know what your son does with his summers now but I would really recommend you expose him to different careers. If he narrows his career plans, it could be a great motivator in school and could also help you avoid many semesters of floundering. Frankly, if there’s a way to have him do internships now, it would be a godsend/</p>
<p>Another suggestion: does the school have a vocational tech program? One of my kids graduated high school with a typical college-prep curriculum BUT, instead of electives, did 2 years of a career prep program. My friend’s daughter did the same. Both attended and graduated from 4-year schools but had additional confidence, training, and a way to earn $. </p>
<p>The last thing I would suggest is to use things as a motivator to him. I am really frustrated for you when you say your ds isn’t thankful and doesn’t cooperate with his extra help. It seems to me that your problem is only partially the ld; the rest of the program is lack of motivation. If it makes sense, I would tell him that if he has a certain gpa or test scores by junior year, you will enroll him in certain community college courses his senior year of high school. Several possible advantages: it will shorten the ‘dreaded’ time at the cc, he may really like it, he will get his feet wet with just 1-2 cc courses at a time and it may motivate him to do well now.</p>
<p>Just wanted to add that my son had less than a 2.0 early in his sophomore year, but a 4.0 by second semester junior year. They may not have much in common, but I had posted a very similar thread. Just trying to say some boys change a lot, and quickly. I remember posting a thread entitled something like " 20 A’s and 20 F’s equals a D", because my son had so many F’s from missing assignments.</p>
<p>Oh, and we did no college visits until spring of Junior year, and never visited most of the schools he applied to. This was partly because it was hard to get excited about, but largely because of spots obligations, and it was a desire to play spots in college, like the other kids he hung out with (not any academic types) that finally lit his fire. …</p>
<p>Field Sports, 80,000 plus will easily cover 4 years of SUNY. I wouldn’t rul out a 4 year. There are varying degrees of selectivity- you may find one that he will be accepted into. </p>
<p>If he is only in 10th grade, he does have time to mature, and to figure out what he wants to do. </p>
<p>I would not take him to colleges that you cannot afford and where he has no chance of acceptance. </p>
<p>However, there are other options for you to explore other than CC.</p>
<p>fieldsports–the value in going to a 4 year school is if that is what your son wants to do then he should do it. He can be like pretty much any other kid out there, have a budget, find a school that works with that, get a couple summer jobs, help pay the difference. I don’t think his LD’s are what is holding him back. He has expressed interest in looking at 4 year schools and you have slammed the door on that without investigating. Ask around these boards at how well it works out when parents force you to go to a school you don’t want to attend. </p>
<p>He may very well decide in the end that staring at a CC is the way to go, however, that choice needs to be HIS, not yours. Most high school kids CAN figure out that if I have $80,000 from my parents to spend I can either find a school that works with that budget or figure out a way to get more money by working after school/weekends/summers, getting a scholarship (yes there are some out there he could get), etc. My oldest had a crappy GPA too but ended up with 2 scholarships in college that paid quite a bit of his schooling. Between that, his summer earnings and his loans, he was able to pay for 90% of his school costs. We paid the rest.</p>
<p>There is NO guarantee of success at ANY school. Just because his friends might have Harvard on their diplomas doesn’t mean they will have a job either. I think too many parents get caught up on the assumption that if my child doesn’t go to Harvard there is no chance of ever gaining meaningful employment—well, Harvard doesn’t graduate 20,000,000 each year so the rest of those people are getting a college degree somewhere. On one college tour we went on in November, small state school, the department our younger son visited, EVERY senior in that program had already been offered jobs after their May graduation…</p>