<p>My nephew is starting at the local community college. He didn’t even apply elsewhere cause he & his parents decided this was his best choice. As an indifferent HS student (but a good worker on the job), he needed to prove himself in a college setting before they spent big bucks on an out of town college. </p>
<p>They were all relieved he didn’t have to go through anguish & so forth, applying elsewhere, writing essays, visiting hither & yon. He’s done. </p>
<p>Don’t beat yourself up, but be sure S knows what the deal is financially.</p>
<p>mommusic–BIG difference when the STUDENT is on board with that decision, not the case with the OP…for now anyway…and from what she has said, she won’t LET him look otherwise.</p>
<p>If he MUST start at the county college, why should he look at other schools now? It can wait until/when he proves himself at the local school for a year or so.</p>
<p>And also because if you are working hard at County, there won’t be a ton of time to get an initial look at many different schools while they are in session. It basically takes at least a day to see a school, if it involves any real driving and you really spend the time to get a feel for the place.</p>
<p>I made a decision on here to ignore the ad hominem attacks, but the recent claim that I “won’t let him look at schools” is really odd – I started this thread because I have already been taking him to see schools, we have hotel reservations to see more in the near future, and I just wondered if there were other parents who had been in my specific boat and could share their how-did-it-work comments with me. This thread has been essentially hijacked by someone who is not in that boat, and is now basically arguing with herself over made-up facts. As the Republican party allegedly said to Richard Nixon, “thank you; you’ve done enough.”</p>
<p>Gotcha. I thank everybody else, who offered thoughtful questions that helped me to reevaluate my prior conclusions, and related other experiences that are worthwhile to consider.</p>
<p>fieldsports, I can see that you are a very dedicated parent who has put much thought and effort into planning what will be next after high school graduation, and has begun discussions with your son about it. It sounds like you have already invested many hours of research.</p>
<p>All of the work you have done and will do are unfortunately not going to guarantee college success, whether your son attends a 2 year or a 4 year school. All you can do is offer suggestions to give your son his best shot for success. I can see plenty of pros and cons for all of the choices out there. </p>
<p>My advice is to pick a school that is small, has small classes, and good academic support for your son. I would avoid even looking at schools with big time sports, especially since it sounds like your son will be very interested in them. Perhaps it is my own bias, but I sees a “rah rah” atmosphere as an added distraction that is not needed. Most schools will offer enough club sports where he should be able to participate. </p>
<p>As a NJ resident I understand well about the cost. My younger son applied to one instate school (no aid offered) and he attends a private U for the same cost as our instate public. We also considered some SUNYs, but when they had a rate hike for OOS students, we dropped the idea. I do know 2 people who attended Delhi. One went into the trades and then joined a family business. He attended about 7-8 years ago and was happy. The other person attended in the 80s, so ancient history, but at that time he was able to transfer to a 4 year private U and did graduate within 4 years. I did meet some peers of the student who attended Delhi in the 80s and FWIW I would not want my children in that group of students.</p>
<p>Also, a lot can change in 2+ years which may cause you to revisit/reconsider your options either way. This is a stage when some boys could have dramatic improvements in maturity/aspirations. </p>
<p>Keep this as an ongoing conversation between you, your son, and your spouse so communication lines remain open and allowances could be made for changing factors as a result of possible growth/maturation.</p>
<p>Fieldsports … is there a chance he will be recruitable for lacrosse, or his other favorite sport? That might give you a price break if you choose a D1 or D2 school, and some of the schools may be academically appropriate. When choosing that direction, make sure you choose a school with excellent academic support and athletic study halls. Some are better than others – with the academic support for athletes.</p>
<p>My logic – dangling the play lacrosse in college carrot can be an incentive for improved academic performance now in high school. Being on the team can give a lot of structure and followup because the coaches want to keep the kids academically eligible.</p>
<p>BTW … I am not talking full rides, but maybe a $5K-10K athletic scholarship which might make a difference to you.</p>
<p>It would be nice – I’m certainly not counting on it as I do my planning and budgeting, but he does play in summer tournaments where the college coaches seek them out, and if his summer coach gets any phone calls from Johns Hopkins, I’m sure we’ll call them back! All kidding aside, yes – better options may open up – financially, academically, athletically. But for now I’m trying to make sure he understands where we are if things do not change, and that it’s not a bad thing, and what to work toward, and how to make the best of it.</p>
<p>I dont understand mncollegs statement that no one on the board pays full freight. We do. Combination of kid not being stellar student and high income. Thats life. Life’s been good to me and little Kays dad.</p>
<p>In my lighthearted response to the sports scholarship question, I forgot to mention that he is not NCAA-compliant. Some of his courses are not on the list. That was a blow dealt by the 8th grade math teacher at placement time (he went from being on track to being off track in a period of three weeks, and she didn’t even bother to send us an email as she watched it unfold) and I was beside myself at the time, but I’m not rehashing it now. I have never seriously thought that he was a money-level player, anyway.</p>
<p>I console myself with the sports by thinking of a friend’s older kid, very similar but a slightly better student. He went to a SUNY and played football as a walk-on (no money). He thought he was in college TO play football (and to be worshipped as a football player in the off-hours). He flunked out, came home and went to County, had become accustomed to a degree of freedom that made him pretty much unlivable in the parental home, had become a drinker, it is a miserable situation, and now County has not worked out, either.</p>
<p>I have heard that Hiram College in Hiram Ohio is looking to start a lacrosse program. They are generous with merit aid, offering $10,000/year to students with a 3.0 GPA OR 20 ACT OR 900 SAT. Hiram is a very small liberal arts college and is one of the Colleges That Change Lives schools. [Colleges</a> That Change Lives | Changing Lives, One Student at a Time](<a href=“http://ctcl.org/]Colleges”>http://ctcl.org/)</p>
<p>Plus, they have a tuition guarantee, so that your tuition does not increase from freshman year. My son was accepted and we are visiting at the end of the month.</p>
<p>It’s silly for anyone to make assumptions about what any of us on CC are or are NOT paying. Have read of many folks who are paying full-freight for their kids–we are paying full freight for one kiddo & got good merit for another. Full freight IS expensive, any way you look at it and for most families. </p>
<p>It’s presumptuous for any of us to try to substitute our experiences and prejudices for OP’s. She has the best knowledge of her S & is basing her options on what she sees now. It is of course not cast in stone, in the event that S makes SIGNIFICANT changes that cause her to shift her thinking, but really she is in the best position to know this.</p>
<p>Sports is a significant time & energy item for students. Some develop better time management skills because of it & the work ethic of others on the team, while others unfortunately end up like your friend’s older kid. A friend had her S play football also from freshman year. She & we all breathed a sigh of relief when he opted NOT to play his SR year of college & emerged mostly intact from his experience with his team (only a few breaks/sprains).</p>
<p>It’s true. My son dropped his winter sport this year, and the grades have improved. The team routinely gets home at 10 p.m. on school nights, in need of dinner, a shower, and having done very little homework. He would have been out like that two nights before midterms, and was last year. The coach gives them a 90 minute study hall before events, but for S the homework has taken 3-4 hours per night since second grade. A lot of people don’t get it. We allowed him to do the sport, and did not insist that he quit, but it was clearly too much for him. As he said, “they talk about managing your time, but you can’t manage your time when you don’t have any.”</p>
<p>Has he visited the county college? I guess I personally would work on getting him enthused about county. Around here, lots of high school kids talk trash about the cc even though, when money becomes apparent at the end of senior year, a good chunk of them ends up there. The coach there may be interested in him.</p>
<p>Yes, we have visited, and it was an uplifting experience. Much more so than many of the bottom-tier or more affordable four-years we’ve seen. What we saw is very much at odds with what he hears from classmates who have never even been there. The next step is to see if I can get a County transfer counselor to meet with him and explain What Happens After. They must be very busy with more pressing needs than a 10th grader would have, so I’m almost embarrassed to ask. But two thirds of entrants go to 4-years. We recently ran into a distant cousin who did exactly that, right here, and is happily employed in a professional capacity.</p>
<p>What he hears about County from his friends reminds me exactly of his time in the toddler wing at nursery school. The three year olds (same general bunch of kids) told each other – “don’t go on the potty or they will send you to the preschool room! and there are monsters up there!”</p>
<p>You gave me an idea. I will call the lacrosse coach there, and take him to a game. We would be doing that at a LAC, if he had a LAC in his near future. Why not here?</p>