Hi I’m a 23 year old freshman commuting to a public university. This semester is almost over and I feel so disconnected from people since I don’t live on campus. I’ve dealt with depression, social anxiety, and loneliness pretty much my whole life. I feel like I’m missing out on the college experience since I don’t like to party. I’d also like to start dating again but no girl really wants anything to do with me. I know college is about education, my grades are fine, but I really need the social aspect of it also. It just feels like I’m missing something. If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it.
Volunteer on campus.
You will meet like-minded people.
If you join a club, you will meet people on campus, but its not like a volunteer position where you have set hours and see acquaintances.
My university has a website for clubs that barely works, when I send an email to the club president the link doesn’t work or they never answer back. Really the only social life there is here are the fraternities and sororities. Like I said I don’t like to be around drinking and partying.
There has to be a “student hub”, a building for clubs etc., and departmental clubs.
Don’t do it by computer. Consider this your job : go to campus and stay there till you’ve located the student union/building where clubs have their offices. They will have “office hours”, make sure to come back then. Go to the departments you like and ask about their clubs; if you speak a world language, go ask if there’s a language club, a language table. Is there something you like? How about making an appointment with the Dean to create a club around that interest? How about asking about work-study job in a department you care about? Volunteering in a professor’s lab?
How many students are at your university? Is it really small? Is it primarily residential or commuter?
- Get the book Art of Loving by Erich Fromm. It’s really a life changer. It’s about $11 on Amazon.
Read it and understand it.
One of the things he talks about is that paradoxically, it’s hard to be in a healthy relationship with someone else until you are comfortable being alone. He has methods to help you do that and gain self-confidence.
- Go on online dates. A lot of my younger introverted co-workers have met their spouses that way. It’s 2016, it’s no longer a big deal.
It’s a small university that is mostly residential for freshman I would say, although there is a lot of commuter students as well.
I’ve tried online dating for over a year now. Nothing. Nobody wants to meet up, it’s so hard seeing people walking by holding hands, while I’m still alone.