Hello. I wrote a longer entry in the transfer student section of the discussion board about how I ended up at the school I am currently attending, but the problem I have now is a bit different than the one I needed advice on in the other post. So here goes.
I am a commuter student, a freshman, and I live about 40 minutes away from the university. It’s been a little over a month that I’ve been going to this school. With traffic, it’s more an hour to two hours, depending on the day. My commute is killing me. I don’t drive, because I was unable to obtain parking, but that’s another story, so my mom drives me. It was also smarter financially, because my mom works about 10 minutes away from the school. We drop my brother off at his middle school on the way. I am exhausted from waking up at 6am for 9:30 classes, but that is the way it is. I have had this schedule for years, since the middle/high school I attended was fairly far from my house as well.
Aside from the actual commute part, I feel so lonely. I have no friends because I am hardly on campus. I know the easy answer is to join clubs, and I truly would like to. However, of course, these meet in the evening or at night when I just can’t be on campus. I can’t drive almost two hours total late at night, especially when I have to be up so early the next morning for class. Study groups for my classes don’t meet until late in the evenings in study rooms in dorm buildings, so I can’t really go to those either. Another thing, which is totally fixable but nevertheless adds to my problems, is I am hungry all the time. I can’t have a meal plan in the regular dorm cafeterias and the only place I can buy a “plan” for is the student union, but they only have a subway, chik fil a, and mcdonalds, not exactly healthy. I carry snacks and lunches, but sometimes I wish I could have a hot meal and not have to carry everything with me.
My friends from high school have gone out of state and are loving it. They spend every weekend exploring their new city with their new friends. But I’ve lived in this state my whole life and there is not much to do here, especially around the university area. It is a generally unsafe area with lots of crime, so I tend not to go “exploring” over there, even during the day. I spend every weekend doing homework and that’s pretty much it. There’s not really anywhere “to go hang out” around here, and I don’t have anyone to do anything with. I love my family so much, but I just want some friends my age to talk to at school, or try to go to the movies with on weekends. I am not into partying and a teetotaler, and my school is a huge party school, so that may be part of the issue. I never expected to love being a commuter, but I also did not expect I’d be this miserable. These issues may seem trivial, but it is really affecting me in a way I did not expect. I knew commuting would be harder, but I didn’t realize I would truly not be meeting people or making friends.
I am planning a transfer eventually, not because of the commuting aspect but because my major is not very well funded at this school (again, another issue) but if there could be any tips on how to handle being a commuter until I can transfer that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.
Why are you a commuter? Can your family afford for you to live in the dorms? Is there any public transit you could take instead of riding with your mom (so you could stay later)?
Why do not you try to put a notice on the College’s Facebook or Twitter to see if someone else lives near your house and does commute, it could at least be an opportunity to make friends.
Thank you, I will look into that, I hadn’t really thought of that yet.
@intparent thank you for your response. I am a commuter because, while the dorms are not terribly expensive, they are quite a bit of money to spend, especially living relatively near the school. Public transport is an issue, there is a bus stop near my house which I could walk to, but I would need to leave to walk to the bus by 6:30am to catch the 7am. There is not a bus I could take later that would get me to class on time, unfortunately.
Maybe is better not just put a post on facebook, You can open a Facebook group " college XXXX commuter students".
That can bring many friends.
Good Luck.
Don’t most colleges have commuter student lounges? Try to see if your university has one. This is a place for commuter students to hang out between classes or study or just meet one another.
I meant more for public transit coming home later (if you wanted to stay for a club or something). Maybe next year you can get a parking pass, too. (I’m sympathetic, my grad student didn’t get a parking pass at her university, either, although she doesn’t live too far from campus so can get on a bus or bike if the weather is nice).
Why not find a room to rent at a house with other college students? It’s much cheaper than dorms and you could walk or bike to campus. Your quality of life would improve being around campus and other students plus you’d still have the ability to go home when you want.
@CALSmom thank you for your reply. I would like to move to be nearer to campus, but is expensive and likely could not happen for another year or so. But it is definitely an option for the future.
@pkchamp89 there is unfortunately not a lounge or even student group for commuters on campus, I have looked on both the website and asked around on campus.
@intparent Thank you for the clarification! I would be unable to take the bus after dark, the bus stop is a bit of a walk away from the school that I would not want to make at night. Sorry about your daughter not getting parking at her school, I’ve learned how frustrating that can be!
@InternationalDad Thank you so much for the response, I will look into that.
@MinnieD17 I am so sorry to hear that! Maybe you can look into starting one? I am sure there has to be a need on campus. It could potentially help so many commuter students out.