Hi y’all
I’m a freshman going to a local college. I’m majoring in nursing and taking classes towards getting my degree.
After high school I was very excited to get going in college. However a few weeks into college I started feeling lonely from being distance from my friends in high school. I really missed them and felt really isolated at home while my friend were away at their colleges. I tried being outgoing and meeting new people through clubs and my classes but they were never really interested in social relationships and making new friends as I was. I was never great at making friends in high school so it wasn’t really a surprise. I just focused on my studies.
My biggest concern is that I’m not enjoying the classes I’m taking and what I’m learning. While what I’m learning is interesting, it doesn’t give me ambition or passion to pursue my major. But my family keeps telling me that I’ll be happier and financially secure in the future with my major. So I feel conflicted between either dropping out of college and finding what I really what to pursue and enjoy or keep taking classes to become a nurse and satisfy my parents.
While I do know my parents support my choice to pursue nursing, I’m scared at what their reaction would be if I told them I college isn’t for me and I want to find out what I really what to do. And I don’t want them to think I just wasted a bunch of money on finding out college isnt for me.
Sorry this is a bit long but I’m really don’t know what to do. Do you have any advice? Thanks so much for any help you can give. I really just want to be as happy as I was when my friends were still around.
What I am reading in your post are two major things, feeling lonely and dissatisfied with the social aspects of college twisted with being unsure about your major and potential career path. This transition to full adulthood is a process and challenging, more so than many anticipate. The social part can take time. Stop expecting it to be like what you had, it’s all new relationships and full of unknowns. Keep putting yourself out there and trying. Really authentic relationships happen in the most unexpected ways sometimes and are worth the wait. As far as your career path, your parents want you to have a secure employment and financial life, but they will still love you if you make a different academic choice. Perhaps visiting your school career center and doing some career exploration might help you feel more confident about what you might prefer to study and do.
It seems to me that you have not completely lost interest in nursing but are still unsure. I think you should really think about why you feel this way. Why did you get interested in nursing? What do you like about your classes and what don’t you like? What do you like about nursing and what don’t you like? Are there any majors/careers that you think you might like more? Is your questioning of your interest in your major/career come from high expectations as far as how satisfied you want to be with your major/career and college in general, or do you think you just might be happier pursuing a different major and/or career? Answering these questions might help you evaluate your interests and decide whether you should continue pursuing nursing or not. Also volunteering at a hospital or something (I’m not a nursing student so I don’t know much about what nursing students do to get experience) to get experience might help you better evaluate your interest in nursing.
As far as what your parents think, I think you should try your best to not let what your parents think influence your life choices. If you aren’t interested in nursing, simply don’t do it; don’t pursue a career that you aren’t interested just because your parents want you to. And if you want a career that is in demand and financially secure (not just because of your parents but because you want to pursue a career that is available and at least pays the bills), keep in mind that nursing isn’t the only way of make money. As far as college majors, business, engineering, math, and computer science are some other examples of good majors for that (not the only examples, just the examples I can think of). And despite what some people think, you can actually be financially stable even without a 4 year college degree. A lot of my family and family friends either never went to college, dropped out of college, or went to technical school or some other education/training instead and they do pretty well. A few people I know are even living upper middle class lifestyles despite not really having any education after high school. However the difference between the people who don’t go to college (or technical school or some other training) and the people who do get some sort of education/training after high school is always that the people who get an education have a lot more options as far as what careers they can pursue whereas the people who don’t have an education sometimes even have to pursue jobs that they really don’t like because that’s what’s available for them and that’s what will pay the bills. The real purpose of college is to pursue a career that you are interested in doing for the rest of your life, not financially stability, so if you choose a major that you aren’t interested in for the financial stability and your parents’ approval you are kind of missing the point of college. As far as financial stability is concern, you should consider it when weighing whether pursuing a certain major/career that you are interested in is worth the cost (both financial and work ethic), but when you do choose a major/career your #1 reason for making that decision should be that you are interested, not because it’s financially stable because there are other routes you can take that are financially stable that you may be more interested in. And who knows? If you do decide you aren’t interested in nursing, maybe the career path that you do become genuinely interested in is even more financially secure than nursing. If that happens, your parents would be pretty glad you didn’t pursue nursing, wouldn’t they?
While I am pleased that you still have high school friends, you have graduated. In my experience, former high school students who pine and talk about high school refer to leads in high school plays, athletic stardom, cheerleader and other high profile high school roles find similar aged adults do not want to spend there time reliving the past. You may have some high school friends that last a lifetime, but most develop new friends and pursuits that expand as we move forward. I see you in a transition in which you keep some friends and exchanging you focus on your current life. It is both sad and limiting to consider the best part of your life ending with high school graduation.
About college. One of the things that may make college more difficult is your longing for high school. You aren’t there so comparing your current academic experiences to what you recall about high school. Each time you start thinking about high school classes stop it!!! You will have to force those memories to end multiple times but they are not helpful or relevant now.
Perhaps thinking considering your classes and finding positives helpful. If you focus on the positive, your attitude should approve. Education is not as restrictive as you might think. Reading more about interesting areas maybe helpful. Exploring other things might be helpful. For example, if you really like history or English lit, for example, take classes in those areas. A college schedule is sufficiently flexible to add another subject or take something interesting and challenging as part of your schedule.
About college goals. Early on, you are fulfilling basic requirements that vary in level of interest to you. So just hang on. Dropping out is not helpful because you would not be in a good context for changing your mind. Lots of kids change majors and graduate in something different. Relax and see what catches your interest. It is not unusual or abnormal questioning your choice of major.
At this point you may feel surrounded by dark clouds. Relax and look up! Save high school thoughts to a limited time and place. Think about what you enjoy, and don’t, in college and what you want to know more about. College is when we dream about and take action to secure your future. You will be an adult for a very long time. A think about what you want to think and do that brings success and joy to your life.
A day or two ago, Lindsay Bonn earned a bronze medal in skiing. It was sorta sad. However, she spoke about physical changes in her body that eroded her competitive success. She also spoke about whether her enthusiasm and mental strength had waned enough to keep her from competing any longer. Lindsay was clearly thinking about her future as a successful adult. Through our lives we graduate and matriculate into our futures.