Starting to regret going to college

I am currently an Honors, Nursing student living in the Honors dorm - 1 person room and private bathroom.
It sounds great and all, but in reality, I’m beginning to regret it and wishing that I was in a different situation.

I am a recent transfer student from a community college - I can honestly say that it was my happiest time – I enjoyed the professors and lectures as well as being able to stay at home and be with my mom. I had a rough transition when I transferred, even though I got accepted into the school’s nursing program. I had some family issues as well as personal issues (I went to see the counseling service there and found out I had depression and anxiety) and barely made it through the first semester. I felt so alone and the only comfort was study groups to keep my mind off and talking to my mom on the phone. I learned to cope and really believed that spring semester, I will be more motivated and positive.

However, spring semester is here and I’m hit with a panic attack all of a sudden - I’m starting to question on whether or not I want to continue through the nursing program. I’m so homesick and just wish that I can just drop out of college right now (even though it’s only the first week of school). I’ve been telling myself that I’ll get used to it and to “deal with it”, especially with all the winter-break assignments that are due soon.

I’m just at a loss right now, I don’t want to keep learning to cope, only to get homesick and unproductive when semester starts again. Any help, advice, tips are greatly appreciated!

My first tip would be to go back to your school’s counseling center (tell them you need to talk ASAP, and that you cannot wait for an appointment. At my school, if you just show up, they’ll see you regardless.) and tell them this. They’ve helped you before, and you definitely shouldn’t force yourself to be alone.

My second tip would be to talk to your mom about it. It sounds like she’s an important part of your life (definitely understand that) and maybe there’s something she can say to reassure you.

Overall, just make sure you’re not doing this alone. There’s no need to, and it just makes it harder for you in the long run IMO.

It also sounds like being alone in a single room may not suit you. You sound happiest when in class and in your study groups. Would moving into a double room with a roommate be an option? This might also be a little bit less expensive. Try to do what you can to prevent quitting if you really want to be a nurse. Nursing programs are so much harder to get into now, and you only have a few more semesters to go before you start your working career.

Also are you under a doctor’s care for the anxiety/depression?

@SusieAnne‌ My school allows only 12 individual sessions per academic year and you’d have to schedule an appointment. I’ve attended 9 of the 12 (for last semester) and it’s really helped a lot. After the 12, you’re required to either seek outside therapy, or schedule for group therapy (which I plan to do) - I think it might help me out more with a group setting. I talked to my mom about it and she’s been really supportive and it’s definitely helped/taken a load off from me. Thanks for the advice! I’ll definitely take that into account - it’s a real “put me down” having to try and figure out everything by myself.

@NorthernMom61‌ I’ve discussed my desire to try moving into a double room next fall (especially since it’s sort of hard trying to move and find another open room now) with my mom. It sounds that I’d benefit from not feeling so isolated but then there’s the fear of having a “bad” roommate. I’ve heard of some horrible/nasty incidences from my classmates and it’s been making me hesitate considering a roommate/or an apartment with two bedrooms. Thanks for the suggestion, I’ll probably visit the thought. I’ve been trying to keep myself positive and setting a schedule to keep myself busy so the thought of being lonely would be less frequent.

@bopper‌ No, I am not. I was actually recently “diagnosed” by the counselor at my university (When I went in myself because I just felt like I couldn’t take it anymore). Before that, it was also “It’s mostly stress”, that sort of thing.