<p>With my Ds, they have really good guy friends that they sometimes see more often then some of their friends might see their "boyfriend"</p>
<p>sometimes a couple is a couple in name and convience only, nothing wrong with that, but in some cases that is how it is</p>
<p>Maybe that is my problem...I'm not really into "dating" as you described it. However, I'm definitely not searching for a life-partner either. I'm just not interested in any of the boys that I know. Most, it not all, are "barely graduated, yay now I can live at home and spend my parents money, lets get drunk and stoned all the time, never read a book" losers. I do occasionally enojoy their company but I would never be INTERESTED in them. The guys who are smart and witty (the latter being my BIGGEST turn on) are friends whom I'm not attracted to. I have one best guy friend who, though I am not necessarily attracted to, have raelly amazing chemistry with...but we've always been "just friends" although there have a lot of rumors that state otherwise because of our closeness. </p>
<p>But yaeh, like citygirlsmom said, I have a lot of friends who have "boyfriends" just because.</p>
<p>My very intelligent & beautiful daughter just graduated ... and has never even had a date. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her. It's just how it is. I didn't date in high school, and I found that college was much better socially. Don't worry about the lack of a boyfriend thing. That will work itself out in time. As long as you are comfortable with yourself, things will work out for you.</p>
<p>Blythe, I think it's important that you get your eating/body image issues under control. I don't know you, so I don't know if your comments are red flags or not ... but I am a bit concerned about the fact that you have been spending your time thinking about food & exercise. This can be healthy, but it can also be a problem. You said that you binged. You also worried about the lack of weight loss & tied it into comments about going to the beach, anyway. I had a lot of weight issues when I was your age, and I definitely didn't have an eating disorder ... but I spent too darn much time worrying/eating/worrying/dieting/etc. I finally threw the scale away, started running every day, and ate properly. It still works to this day! However, if your worries about looking bad in a bathing suit, how much you are eating, how much you are exercising are taking up an inordinate amount of time --- you might want to consider talking to your mother and/or your doctor. Please let them help you decide if it's a problem. If an eating disorder is leading to your social isolation, then it is more than you can handle on your own. I could be WAY off base here (like I said, I don't know you), but it is worth thinking about.</p>
<p>Blythe,
one of your fears, the one about how long it will take you to get to know folks? here are your words:</p>
<p>I know that college will be different but I'm just a little worried because I'm one of those people that have a hard time revealing their true personality until after they have known someone for a while. I;m just scared of missing out on a lot friends in college because it will take me longer to get to know people then most. </p>
<p>I want you to understand that is a perfect example of how college will be very different than anything you have known. It is harder to know people when you don't live together. But, in college, you will have roommates, you will have suitemates, or friends across the hall.....or new folks you will meet waiting on line to buy your books. You cannot say that it will take you longer than everyone else.....because it will all be new to all of you. So, please know that I sense in you a really nice gal who will be sensitive to others and who will make new friends because of your sensitivity. </p>
<p>Once upon a time, I was worried for my oldest....because he was more aloof than I would be (ha ha) and a good friend reminded me that my child was not someone who went along with a crowd......and that was a trait that would be valued in college, not so much in high school. </p>
<p>So, take a deep breathe.....and treat yourself to a great book or two and you will be packing for school before you know it.</p>
<p>The dating issue almost seems secondary to what to me sounds like a moderate-to-severe case of burnout. Sounds like you hadn't expected the hard-working summer and haven't felt like you've had a chance to catch your breath. </p>
<p>Nothing seems right when you're stressed out or burned out (and some people eat to cope with these conditions) but you're also in a process of metamorphosis which is also sapping your energy. Hopefully, it will return when you when you arrive at college. New place, new friends, new life. </p>
<p>S has said to me that he literally remembers nothing about high school. It's possible you'll be saying the same thing in a year or two...</p>
<p>Why not make a facebook account if you already haven't. It gives you a chance to meet some people from your college ahead of time. My D made lots of connections this way. Its an icebreaker.</p>
<p>Beginning a serious realtionship the summer before going to college is a mistake. My own D started dating a guy one year older last year. They started dating in May and right away he insisted that it would not be just a summer romance. They lasted a year. He went away to college that fall and it was painful. My daughter who is going to college this fall said she will not go away to school attached to a guy. Her plans for summer are hang out in groups. She feels this way because of her own experieince. So your friend will have a bf for the summer but will have a messy time gfoing to college becuase of it.</p>
<p>I love your description of your boys.</p>
<p>I can remember those feelings clearly. When I graduated from H.S. I was depressed. People scattered. I would never have any fun....but then college happened. It was even better and more fun. Hard work? yes. I also put myself through college by working several jobs during college. They were fun too. Just remember you are not alone. the best is yet to come!</p>