Im not sure what to do and am panicking!!!!

<p>So this past year i lost two of my close family members which caused me to do poorly in my first year at University and was required to withdraw. The university understood my appeal and gave me a second chance this year. I was so stupid and messed up due to a lack of motivation and am pretty sure I'm gonna get kicked out again. </p>

<p>Now I have no idea what to do. Only now that i truly lost my education i understand what it meant. I having panic attacks and cant even focus properly anymore due to being so stressed about my mistakes.</p>

<p>I was thinking that i should apply to another smaller University and try to get them to understand. Do you think it will work for fall 2013?</p>

<p>Also I know I will be motivated to do good in this new University if I get in. So if I do good and have a great GPA will there be a chance that my old University will ever accept me in again as to continue in the programs?</p>

<p>Please someone help</p>

<p>Solo, I am sorry to hear of the loss of your family members. My first thought is to wonder whether you’ve actually taken the time to grieve. Some people throw themselves into projects, like school, but it often doesn’t turn out well because of the underlying feelings. Is there a possibility that you are depressed? When people are depressed, their concentration and memory is poor. You say you are having panic attacks. Are you under the care of a therapist?</p>

<p>What would you think of taking a year off? Maybe get some therapy and work and just take some time to re-establish yourself. One semester off is probably not enough, though if there is a local CC you maybe could take 1 class starting in the summer. Honestly, I think you need time to heal.</p>

<p>You didn’t say if you are away from home, but maybe some time at home to reconnect after your losses might be helpful. I’m guessing your school would work with you in this situation. </p>

<p>What I think you should NOT do is throw yourself headlong into another busy semester. It’s time to reevaluate. ((hugs))</p>

<p>I agree with calla1 take some time to grieve.
Maybe find a part time job for the spring and try 1 class at a junior college. If all goes well take a few more over the summer etc. Maybe target next spring to try and get back into your University or another.</p>

<p>Have you felt “out of sync” with the campus since you withdrew and re-entered? Does it feel like everyone has just moved along, while you’ve been feeling lost? And they don’t even get how hard it is for you? It’s very hard to just pick up and start over again without some additonal support after a personal loss. Have you worked with the university’s counseling services this past year to get the additional support and to help reintroduce you to the campus? I agree that you may need to slow things down for now to grieve, heal and to regain your confidence and focus. I think you need to have a conversation with someone in “emotional support” services department at the university or even a local counselor about your experiences, (past and present) so that you can put it into a perspective which will aid your recovery. Leaving college under these circumstances is another loss for you. Sometimes, it takes someone with a clearer perspective to help make decisions when you are in a vulnerable place, because sometimes we are too emotional or overwhelmed and do not even know it. Most of all, be gentle with yourself. Take care of yourself. This too shall pass, if you get some emotional support. Hugs from me and God Bless You. You are worthy and you are loved. (((<3)))</p>

<p>SoloDolo: My condolences for your losses. It sounds like it has been a very stressful time for you in the past few years.</p>

<p>As others have mentioned, it might be a good time to take a break from school for awhile. You have plenty of time to finish school, and the most important thing for you now is to heal yourself and become emotionally stronger.</p>

<p>Don’t feel it is a failure to ‘drop out’ of school for awhile. You deserve to be taking care of you. School will be there when you are ready.</p>

<p>SoloDolo, you will find many threads in the archives about kids that for various reasons had to leave school and pause for a while. I apologize for telling different versions of my son’s story over and over, but when he left school after 2 semesters due to poor academic performance, he was living at home and enrolled in ONE class at community college. We thought he should ease back into it. The next semester he took one class at the community college and one class at a neighboring college. He gradually worked back to a full course load. a couple of years later he transferred to a 4 year university and his first semester there he took a full load + 3 additional classes at the community college, so he successfully took 7 courses. I am still not sure how he managed the logistics let alone the course work. </p>

<p>So the message is, take a deep breath and don’t put too much pressure on yourself, and you are certainly not “Solo.”</p>

<p>Thanks everyone for their support.
I feel like I have moved on from my family losses but failed this year to pure laziness.</p>

<p>I need some options and taking a year off is not one of them.
I want to go back to school immediately and I know I will give it my all.</p>

<p>So does anyone think another University will accept me if I speak with them and accept me in their Fall program?
And once again will the old university that kicked me out twice ever accept me back in if i present a good enough GPA?</p>

<p>Yes. You can find another private university to accept you, provided you can pay. There are many universities that will accept anyone.</p>

<p>Will your old university take you back, if you go to the new university and flourish? Maybe. We can’t answer that question. If you want to know, ask your old university. They should be happy to discuss it with you, as they have no reason to keep their readmit rate a secret.</p>

<p>Our concern is that you say you “know” you will give your classes your all in this third chance. Yes, but you also knew you’d give your classes your all the first two times. What is going to be different the third time than the first two times? We don’t see that anything will be different: you will once again go in with good intentions, and you will most likely fall prey to the same demons that got you the first two times. A new university will be happy to take your money (where, by the way, is it coming from?) but they will not guarantee that you pass your courses.</p>

<p>Cardinal Flag the first two times I thought I was invincible meaning I didn’t think I would ever be kicked out and was thinking like a stupid kid. Now that I’ve lost my life, I want it back. Im ready to shed tears and blood. I’ve matured greatly but only to late…</p>

<p>Can you pay for another go? If you are getting financial aid, realize that you are using up aid. You should wait until you are in optimal shape to go back to school. A couple of years at work will give you some more direction, perspective and maturity.</p>

<p>No cptofthehouse I know for a fact wasting years of my life working crappy jobs will not benefit me.
I need my education.</p>

<p>You’ve struck out two times in a row. Give it a break. Also an attitude adjustment towards any sort of jobs is in order. You will appreciate your education more. You are putting yourself in even more of a precarious postion going back again. </p>

<p>If you have the money, find a for-profit or open enrollement school or take courses as a non matriculating student at a school and show you have the stuff to do well. You would then have a chance of transferring into something you prefer. But your options right now are not optimal among the schools. I certainly would not accept you at a school with any selectivity.</p>

<p>^^^ agree with cptofthehouse.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>That’s not the sort of thing you can “know for a fact.” And your saying it makes you sound a little lacking in maturity.</p>

<p>There are many ways to go to school these days. Why not take a class or two as an unmatriculated student somewhere, like a state university, extension or continuing education classes, online or on campus? I would try this rather than dropping out entirely. If you do well in one or two classes, your chances for returning to the original school or getting in to another will be better, too.</p>

<p>I often found that I could enjoy classes when I just took one or two. It revived my interest in the studies, which is really necessary for many of us in order to do well. You could work part time if needed.</p>

<p>You need to break a pattern that has started, and jumping in to try to do it sounds very admirable, but you might want to work up to it first, with a record of success from a few classes and with renewed confidence in what you can accomplish.</p>

<p>I personally have become a fan of online classes, which you can obviously take at any school, no matter where you live.</p>

<p>So at the moment a community college is my best bet?</p>

<p>The thing is if i work and not go to school a university wont let me back in for say 4-5 years am i right?</p>

<p>It wouldn’t be bad if they would let me in even fall 2014 at a different university and i could eventually transfer to my old university but i have a hard time believing a university will take me after a year off and nothing to show for it.</p>

<p>I think working a job, and learning respect for those who work these jobs, maturing, volunteering at somej places that need workers, paying your own way for things will show a maturity you don’t have right now. You are just ping ponging back to the same mistakes with only your assurances that you will do better. Right now you haven’t given any indication that you will. What you SAY means nothing. What you DO means a lot. Taking a break and addressing some of your issues and healing from the loss of loved ones, reflecting on your goals, are all things that would mean a lot more to me as an adult looking at your situation, than simple panicked reactions in the form of promises with no assurances that you will now toe the line. </p>

<p>Who is paying for your education? IF you have federal loans and grants, you may not be eligible to get anymore without taking a break and paying for a term yourself and showing that you truly can do better. You are eating up your eligiblity fo aid if you are on financial aid, and you should be in better shape before giving it another go.</p>

<p>“I feel like I have moved on from my family losses but failed this year to pure laziness.”</p>

<p>OP. One doesn’t spontaneously “get lazy.” Like prior posters, I don’t think you’ve left yourself enough time to grieve. Yes you need your education. But you need to recover first … from whatever is standing in the way of academic success. </p>

<p>PS, if laziness actually is a problem (which I doubt) there’s nothing like working a year or two at a “crappy job” to get you motivated to do well at college.</p>

<p>I understand that many of the people’s advice here is to work but i question whether or not a university will even accept me after a year of work after getting kicked out twice from another university…</p>

<p>anyways i haven’t slept much this past week, ate anything, stopped working out, and everyone around me is telling me i have changed(not as funny and more serious), stopped hanging out with friends, my hearts beating fast and i always feel heated inside and almost dizzy sometimes like i’m going to pass out, even been having suicidal thoughts. </p>

<p>i just wish i could go back four months ago and give myself a good punch in the face so i woke up right then and there at the start of the semester.</p>