URGENT, please help me!! Terrified of losing admission!!!

<p>I am now scared to death of having my college admissions rescinded. </p>

<p>In the beginning of senior year, I was intensely motivated. After I got rejected or wait-listed from all of my top choices, I had a terrible bout with depression and anxiety and was hospitalized during 2nd semester after trying to kill myself. After all the pressure and hype about going to a top school, I had failed miserably. My mom was disappointed in me, and my friends all got into their schools and would flaunt their achievements at me. I suddenly lost all focus on my schoolwork. I would stare at the computer screen for hours, unable to concentrate or researching ways to kill myself. I realized that I was very, very unhappy with the mentality I was stuck with and needed therapy; I had struggled with negative thoughts and anxiety for a very long time. Well, my psychiatrist decided to send me to the hospital again because I was suicidal. But I'm back now, and still feel the same. Therapy has helped a little, but I haven't been able to regain my focus since I received my diagnosis, because of all the stress from 4 APs. </p>

<p>Well, all of this hoopla really impacted my grades even further, and now I'm at risk of losing the colleges that did accept me (NYU, UC Davis, Irvine) due to failing classes. Davis offered me Regents and I liked the campus, so I'll probably attend. I believe that I can be happy there, but I don't believe that I can regain my momentum and bring up my grades on time. I've already fallen so far after working so hard for all these years - if I were to lose this last spark of hope, I don't know what I'd do. It's probably trigger me. Please, please help me avoid getting rescinded. I don't want to be deferred, but would be willing to make up the classes over the summer. I'm sure that some involvement in a therapeutic program over the summer will be enough to get my problems sorted out too. Any advice from someone who went through a similar situation would be very helpful. Thanks.</p>

<p>Your therapist needs to provide a letter to your GC about your medical condition recommending that you granted incompletes for medical reasons in your classes and you will need to make up the work over the summer. The schools won’t rescind over medical incompletes, and they do not need to know the nature of your condition. </p>

<p>Get your parents involved in making this happen so that you can be relieved of the pressure.</p>

<p>First of all, to heck with the APs. You don’t need to take the exams in order to go to college, and they’re far less important than your health. Just don’t take them.</p>

<p>I think ClassicRockerDad has given you pretty good advice. This isn’t a problem for an 18-year-old to handle on her own, and it seems as if you really needn’t try to. Ask your psychiatrist what he or she can do to help you deal with both your high school and your future college, and enlist your parents’ help if they’re supportive. </p>

<p>Have you considered delaying college for a year to focus on getting your anxiety and depression under control? Involvement in a therapeutic program over the summer might be enough to help you sort things out–I’d have no way of knowing–but you’ll be facing a whole new set of stressors in your first semester of college. Why the rush? Why not take time to make absolutely sure you’re mentally and emotionally ready for college?</p>

<p>I wish you well, but I think the person who’s best able to help you here is your doctor.</p>

<p>I have NEVER heard of a college rescinding admission as a result of anything related to a diagnosed (by a physician) medical condition.</p>

<p>They may, however, require a letter from your Doctor that your condition is under control and that it is safe for you to go to college. Most important, you need to speak to your Doctor to make sure that you’ll be ok. Taking care of yourself is the number one priority.</p>

<p>RE AP’s – I agree with Sikorsky. Don’t take them if you’re not up for them. Not worth the worry.</p>

<p>Yep, It’s time to power it way down. Getting into a top school has literally driven you over the edge. Go to therapy as much as possible. Take your meds as prescribed by your MD. Do what it takes to get your mental health back on track. Take a year off, regroup and reevaluate. Btw-better it happened now than in six months at a strange school, with no support system. God Bless.</p>

<p>Thanks for the responses! The thing is, I CANNOT take a whole year off, or even a semester. My parents would freak - I’m in a somewhat difficult situation at home now, and would love to be out of the house by September. I already found a really nice roommate for Davis, and I’m positive that being away will be good for my mental health too.
Does this mean I should give up on my classes now altogether? Taking intensive therapy (the only option) will interrupt my classes even further and I will never be able to bring my grades up on time. I can definitely get a note from my psychiatrist and doctor, but will I still be able to attend the fall semester without any interruption or Academic Probation? If all this will just end up with a deferral, I’ll just try my best to keep up with my classes, and brave on. There’s so much to catch up on and I don’t think I can do it, that’s all. My counselor has worked out a plan with my teachers allowing me to make up work, but I still can’t seem to catch up. It feels utterly hopeless. If I wasn’t so behind, then I probably would be able to catch up, but that’s not the case. :(</p>

<p>I think that you need the following people

  • Psychiatrist letter to GC to recommend an accommodation
  • Parent letter requesting an accommodation if you are under 18. Otherwise, they are out of the loop.
  • Guidance Counselor to 1) send a letter to UCDavis explaining the medical incompletes, and 2) to inform your teachers to give you incompletes
  • Tutor - to work with you to help you make a schedule and budget your time so that you can work at a moderate pace on this new schedule, and complete the incompletes over the summer. This person could be your GC but she may not have time, and you may need to find a tutor privately and pay for it. </p>

<p>You can’t expect to finish on time. If you’re taking a challenging load, and you get behind, it’s not possible to catch up on time, so your feelings of hopelessness are not misguided. The key is to get the school to give you an accommodation. They may not let you walk in graduation, but who cares. As long as you don’t lose your acceptance.</p>

<p>Go talk to your GC and see if this plan can be made to work.</p>

<p>First of all, admissions won’t rescind you because you had a medical condition… Even though they say they rescind admissions, that isn’t so true… they rarely ever do that! Usually if you had bad grades by the end, they want an explanation. This is what NYU admissions would say.</p>

<p>Some UCs rescind for a D or an F. I think getting the medical accommodation avoids all of that. Then when you complete your work satisfactorily, you’ll probably get Bs or Cs and be just fine. Actually, getting Bs and Cs and having it be fine will be good for your soul. Just go easy at UCDavis until you have your mojo back.</p>

<p>PLEASE be careful. If you start struggling AT ALL at school, let your doctor know immediately. College can be very stressful of someone with a mental illness. You do not want to wind up in the hospital again. My son (a college junior) had a relapse in March. It began when he got too stressed about a class. He was in the hospital two times, for a total of 32 days. In the future, we will insist that he take a very light course load. Can you do that? Think of your journey as a marathon, not a sprint. If you burn out at the beginning, you risk not finishing. There is no hurry! I agree with others who suggested that you take a year off to get stable.</p>

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<p>Is it really a good plan to drive yourself to a breakdown just so your parents won’t “freak”?</p>

<p>Talk to your doctor about this, and prioritize. Do the things that you need to do in order to be successful in college. That matters more, and for many more years, than whether your parents freak out in the spring of 2013. Solicit help from your therapist figuring out whether you should take a semester or a year before you begin college. Then, if that’s the right thing to do, solicit help from your therapist figuring out how you’re going to talk to your parents about this.</p>

<p>But for your own sake, focus on the most important things, and get them right. Your health is more important than your parents’ reaction.</p>

<p>I’m not you, and I’m not your therapist, and I can’t say whether the right thing for you is to start college in the fall or to wait. But knowing only what you’ve said here, I’d urge you to think long and carefully about it, and to discuss it in therapy.</p>

<p>Do you have confidence in your therapist? Your posts indicate that your probably depressed, and under inappropriate pressure from your parents to “achieve”. What you need to do is focus on feeling better about yourself and your future, disengaging from your parents’ inappropriate expectations. You seem to be in a fairly fragile state; please focus on your recovery and on simply graduating. If you are failing classes or have a minimum GPA requirement for your selected school, ask your therapist to send a letter to Admissions Office to explain situation, and a letter to Student Services (or appropriate department) noting that you’re being treated for depression and may need counseling services and/or accommodations. Work during the summer to complete any incompletes, and set yourself up with a reading program to regain your academic focus, or take a community college class to regain your momentum. Tune out your parents’ inappropriate expectations and “disappointment”; their opinions of you no longer define who you are. Keep your head down at home (don’t argue with them), and focus on realizing your personal goals. You’ve endured (and survived) some serious setbacks, but these “setbacks” don’t need to define who you are going forward. Remain optimistic; we are not defined by the colleges that we attend, and a “prestige” university is not needed for personal and professional success. Best wishes to you. I wish I could help your parents gain a “readjustment” to their wrongheaded attitudes.</p>

<p>tris</p>

<p>Your long term health is the most important. I think the most important thing you can do is talk to your therapist about whether it is advisable for you to start college now. If s/he thinks you’re ready (and hopefully this is the answer), then you’re good.</p>

<p>Otherwise, if your parents are a problem, have the therapist meet with the three of you and explain to them your medical needs at the present time.</p>