I’m currently a sophomore at Fordham University. After giving it a chance all last year and this first semester, I can’t seem to make myself happy.
I cry all the time. I feel so alone - everyone is so different than I am. I just want to make the kind of friends who aren’t catty, gossipy, and drunk 24/7. That’s exactly how every single person here is, though. I have at least one very good friend, and I’d say there are at least 2-4 others.
I miss my home so much - my high school friends, my family, my hometown and surrounding areas…
Is it stupid to try and transfer to another school? How do I even go about the process of transferring?
I am sorry to hear that you are unhappy! My first piece of advice would be to set up a visit with the counseling center as crying and feeling alone can be signs of clinical depression that may or may not be situation induced. Always smart to reach out to counselors who are trained to help you- They can give you objective feedback for your specific situation and help you sift through your options! Please don’t hesitate to utilize them!
Off hand some thoughts are it may be too late to transfer for spring- unless you want to go to a community college near home- but now would be the time to start applying for next fall.
In the meantime besides counseling- Id say look and see if you can find some clubs or exercise groups that you are remotely interested in. Learning a new skill or sport can be exhilarating and is a great way to meet new people… perhaps a film club, baking club, yoga, running club - train for a 5k? Exercise releases endorphins/ is a natural antidepressant/ usually people who train for a goal like that aren’t petty or catty…maybe a volunteer club that helps people generally that will attract a more altruistic type of person like you are looking for…
You have given Fordham a good long try and have been unhappy for over a year now, which is quite a long time to feel sad like that.
Have you gone for any counseling to talk about these feelings?
How were things for you when you were at home and still in high school and when you were away from Fordham over breaks? Did you still feel just as sad and lonely?
It sounds like you have found a few friends/ like-minded people. Have you been able to talk with them about how they manage themselves at school? Are you able to confide in any of them about your unhappiness? Have you talked with your parents about your feelings?
In answer to your question “Is it stupid to try and transfer?”. No it is not stupid and you can look into this by looking online at some of the schools you might be interested to find out what is required. Sometimes it is not where you are, but who you are. So you might not want to go through the process of transferring schools and find out that you are still sad at the next place.
In the meantime though, you should figure out how to get happier by reaching out to find support. Find a therapist, get some exercise, and make an extra effort to pursue your interests and your academics while at school.
I’m so sorry also that you are having a hard time emotionally. You are definitely not alone! And I’m glad that you do have a few good friends on campus. Please take @runswimyoga 's advice, and make an appointment soon with a counselor so you can talk things over and get some good advice about your feelings and possible transfer options. Also, as @runswimyoga suggested, get some exercise, even if it’s just brisk walking on campus.
Also, consider attending worship services and/or a campus ministry meeting. Like exercise, spiritual practice can have psychological benefits, and will give you a better chance of meeting likeminded students. If you are not Catholic, Fordham has Jewish, Muslim, and other student associations as well.
Take good care of yourself – and know that things will get better!