<p>Legally, she can, but emotionally? Financially? I don't know whether tallgirl can really count on this "friend" to lend her the money since people often say stuff until it comes to actually opening their checkbook. And what happens to her relationship with her father? If she employs the mature, unemotional rationale approach advocated by you (Calmom) and others, then she has the best chance of his not taking it personally -- but there are no guarantees.</p>
<p>Ideally, her father would come around to her way of thinking and agree to let her go. Failing that, however, I would agree that she needs to strike out on her own to get what she wants. She will need to be strong and self-sufficient and determined -- probably more so than she realizes right now.</p>
<p>I think it is a lot to expect that an 18 year old will (or can) cut all financial and emotional ties with family, particularly a father. There are a lot of repercussions from that decision, some good, some bad. It isn't one to be undertaken lightly.</p>
<p>Assuming it is the scholarship entitled "Bright Futures", and not another scholarship in the Florida Bright futures "family", these are the awards the OP may recieve.</p>
<p>"Public Institution A student will receive an amount equal to 100% of tuition and fees* (may include lab fees up to $300 per semester*<em>) plus $300 per semester</em> for college-related expenses (excluding summer term) prorated by term and hours. </p>
<p>Private Institution A student will receive a fixed award amount based on 100% of the average tuition and fees at a comparable Florida public institution including $300 per semester* provided for college-related expenses prorated by term and hours. The website at <a href="https://www.floridastudentfinancialaid.org%5B/url%5D">https://www.floridastudentfinancialaid.org</a> ( linking to State Grants, Scholarships & Applications, Postsecondary Institutions, and then Private School Award Amounts for Bright Futures) provides the current year award amount for private institutions."</p>
<p>If you qualify for Bright Futures, you may also qualify for merit money at U Miami. Would your FA permit you to live in a dorm?</p>
<p>Since your issue sounds both cultural and family to me. I'd enlist GC and family friends to help with the cultural part. I'd also discuss with both your parents how you are you, and not to expect to be a repeat of your brother. Do you have relatives going away to college?</p>
<p>Yes, it is hard for tallchild to make it on her own, but she has no choice if she wants to attend a college away from home -- her father has already made that clear, and she really has no way to make him change his mind. The only power she has in this situation is to plan to take care of her own finances. </p>
<p>My son has been entirely supporting himself on his earning since age 20 -- it can be done. I'm not saying its easy, but the point is that there are alternatives for this kid. I don't know how Bright Futures works, but if she doesn't have to remain in college continuously to keep the scholarship, then it is a lot easier -- she could take a job for the coming year while living at home, saving as much as possible -- and then have the savings to pay for housing & meals the first year. She can also take a part time job while attending school -- and of course work summers -- to keep on earning to pay her rent. If she starts to fall seriously behind, then she can take off a semester or year midway through to catch up.</p>
<p>My guess is that the father will more likely come around and be willing to help financially once it is obvious that the decision has been made -- but if I were in her shoes, I'd keep my mouth shut about plans along the way--- otherwise the living situation at home could be very uncomfortable. If the father sees the d. happily living at home and going off to work each day, not mentioning the college thing again, he may assume that she has given up on that idea. Meanwhile, his attitude may soften up simply with the passage of time. </p>
<p>I'm not advocating that she cut off emotional ties to home -- she has said that her father has told her what he wants, but not that he has threatened to disown her or cut her off entirely. </p>
<p>I just think that the more she argues with her dad, the more intransigent he will get -- and in the end, the only way she can have the power to do what she wants is to take care of her own finances. It certainly isn't impossible -- many students do it.</p>
<p>What calmom has been saying is more or less the approach I have been taking with the situation. Earlier this year, I did try to sit my father down and talk about the possibility of going away to school, and he quickly rushed me out of his room, and told me that that was completely out of the question. For months after, any time college came up it would turn into him yelling at me, about how I can't make such important decisions at such a young age. </p>
<p>Talking about my independence was seen to him as almost a challenge to his authority.</p>
<p>What I think I'm planning to do is just shut my mouth until I am 18. Obey all their rules, respect them, and at 18 sit them down and tell them "this is what i'm doing." Whether they like it or not, at 18 it truly becomes my decision.</p>
<p>So, if you can't go to the school you are planning on applying to, can you even use the scholarship somewhere else? Or is it only certain schools? I guess the question you need to ask your parents is: Are they going to pay for college if they want you to go where they want you to go, but the scholarship won't be allowed at that school?</p>
<p>Good luck, Tallchild -- I think you are taking the right approach. I know that I realized midway through my teens that conflict with the parents was not getting me anywhere -- it only tends to make them want to tighten their grip.</p>
<p>For what it's worth, I went away to college very young - age 16 -- but both my kids turned 18 during their high school senior years (coincidentally both celebrating their 18th birthdays away from home for admitted student events at their respective colleges). While I didn't have any problems due to going away young, I think that there is a certain advantage in being a little older and legally past the age of majority at college -- for example, they have had access to better paying jobs and they have a little more freedom and flexibility to travel on their own. And definitely any job experience you pick up in the interim will pave the way for better jobs and internships later on -- it just helps to be able to list a real job history on your resume.</p>
<p>Is FIU Florida International? I've heard of it, it doesn't sound so bad. Not the best school in Fl, but if it comes down to it, I think your best course of action would be to go to FIU or whichever one you find more tolerable. Then you might be able to show your parents you can handle college, with the intent of transferring to UF or FSU (how far is UF from you?). I think you should at least try this course of action before you attempt to cut off all ties. Besides, you will turn 18 too late to apply anywhere but as a second year. So either way you might as well enroll in one of the schools your parents approve or in community college, and before you make any ultimatums, see if you can bring them around. A lot might change in two years. They also probably have friends and coworkers with some kids your age who are going to college, including going away, and they will hear stories about how it's going well, and you can try to subtly tell them about how your friends are doing. </p>
<p>Keep in mind many parents were shocked and scared by recent campus events. This, combined with your brother's experience, may have your parents extremely concerned to the point of undue stress. It is still unfair either way, but understand that the context behind this is more likely to be that THEY can't handle you going away, not that they don't know you're more than capable. This is probably mostly an excuse to try and avoid a situation that is too stressful for them. They probably rationalize by thinking they are possibly sparing you a bad experience and that you need to spend more time with them. The problem for you is, I think for them "ready" is likely to be put off and put off. You may be 30 and they're still perfectly happy to parent you. At some point a line may need to be drawn. But I think you should at least try to give them a chance to get used to things for years, sort of an "independence jr" here. With the hope you can establish a greater circle of independence. It might work and it might not, but it's worth a shot before you take more drastic action.</p>
<p>I think you should plan your departure, but not give up hope that your dad will come around. I think you can follow both Calmom's advice and others' simultaneously. </p>
<p>You can't let your father's insecurities hijack your future, but you should never give up hope that he will see the light. Just as parents should never give up on children, children should (with few exceptions) never give up on parents either.</p>
<p>While you make your plans on the side for when you turn 18, you could keep working on your father through relatives, clergy, a GC, or even a family counselor. Having financial help from your familly over the next 5-10 years can make your life so much easier (unless the strings attached are too much to bear). Emotional connection to your father is something you should never give up if you can avoid it.</p>
<p>I have seen people before who simply will not relinquish power over others until it is literally pulled from their hands. You may, unfortunately, be in that type of situation.</p>
<p>Neither FAU or FIU are DREADFUL schools. You don't know what you're talking about.</p>
<p>Parents look at the U.S. News Ranking and want to send their kids to FSU because they think that research rankings are directly tied to the educational quality of the lectures, as if a professor from FSU can convey the meaning of a concept in such a way that everyone in the lecture hall understands while a professor at FIU struggles to put two sentences together and confuses everybody. </p>
<p>Please.</p>
<p>If that's seriously what you believe... or what your parents believe... you all need to do some more research.</p>
<p>The reality is that high school students want to go to FSU to get drunk seven days a week, including Saturday's football games SEMINOLES WOOHOO. You know it and I know it. </p>
<p>Every high school student you talk to that says they want to go to FSU mentions the parties and the bars in Tallahassee. Until I came on this board, I had never heard a single person mention that they want to go to FSU because of their academics (their film school aside)</p>
<p>But they fool their parents into thinking that they want to attend FSU because of the prestige of their national rankings and meanwhile everyone under the age of 40 knows its about the parties.</p>
<p>Which is fine. I'm not knocking parties -- I attend plenty of them when I'm not studying to get into medical school. And FSU has some highly-ranked programs.</p>
<p>However, the concepts that a biology professor at FSU or Princeton or Harvard teaches in an Intro to Biology I course are the same concepts that will be covered by, say, Dr.Brooks in our Bio 1 course (who also happens to have gotten his Ph.D. from FSU)</p>
<p>I say if you can commute to a 4 year public, do it. I looked at the FAU website and it doesn't seem too bad. I too go to a 3rd tier public and while it isn't the ideal school for me and my personality, I am thriving academically and have made some good friends. At most it will be a year, and then you can transfer. Just focus on getting top grades so that you can get scholarships that will help you to pay for a better school in fall '08. Hopefully your dad will be willing to pay for a better school once you are 18. I agree that you should just go along with living at home and bite your lip until you are 18, but I wouldn't turn around and say to your dad "this is what I'm doing and I don't care what you say or think" once you are 18. He sounds a bit like my dad-as stubborn and stuck in HIS ways as the day is long-and you could find yourself without any support from your parents if they don't like your plan. It may sound nice to get away from them, but it will be tough to pull tuition money together on your own. It's unlikely that a bank will give a loan to an 18-year-old living alone with no financial support.</p>
<p>"The reality is that high school students want to go to FSU to get drunk seven days a week, including Saturday's football games SEMINOLES WOOHOO. You know it and I know it."</p>
<p>Wow. You seriously just insulted everything that I stand for. Yes. MOST KIDS. I am NOT most kids. (Seriously, way to use a stereotype as a way of making an argument. good job.) </p>
<p>I am saying that as a student that wishes to study Film, FAU PALES DRASTICALLY in comparison to FSU. My brother went to UF and then Transfered to FAU. And he said that the course loads were 100x heavier at UF than they were at FAU, that the quality of prof was lower at FAU. Not that he didn't have good profs at FAU, his favorite class was indeed at FAU. But that the AVERAGE class was alot more rigorous than that at Florida Atlantic.</p>
<p>Having said that, I have no problem with Florida Atlantic, or Florida International. But why should I bring myself down to a school that doesn't even offer a film program, when I can attend a great school for my specific major?</p>
<p>You know, I don't talk just for the hell of filling up space on this thread. I say these things because I have done my research, and am asking for help, not to be compared to the average FSU frat boy.</p>