<p>Hey everybody, i was just recently accepted into FSU and I really want to go there. The only problem is that my parents want me to live at home for another 2 years and go to FGCU. This frustrates me because I worked very hard in high school to get in to FSU but now they want me to wait and transfer after 2 years. I am also a dual enrollment student, so I have about 20 college credits</p>
<p>Can you pay for FSU on your own? If not, you may need to follow your parents’ plan for the first two years. Sit down with them and work through the numbers. See what is possible.</p>
<p>Same situation older daughter was in few years back. She went CC and got all GenEd classes DONE-best thing EVER! Saved money & transf to UC. Yes, it will be frustrating for you, but a short lived 2yrs will be well worth it…goes quickly, too! No one will ask, what CC did you go to? It’s where you GRADUATE that matters :)</p>
<p>Do they want you to stay home for financial reasons, or because they’re not ready to let you go, or some other reason? Talk to them about the reasons and try to work something out. At worst, you’ll attend FGCU and, if you still love FSU, transfer there in 2 years.</p>
<p>Consider though, if you got aid, that transfer scholarships and aid are typically less than first-year offers.</p>
<p>Here are some rather generic responses - </p>
<ul>
<li><p>Most posters here will likely side with you on going where you want as long as finances aren’t an issue and as long as there aren’t other unusual behavioral or family issues at play.</p></li>
<li><p>A lot (most?) posters will agree that it’d be nice to live away from home on campus. It’d be nice but it’s not necessary.</p></li>
<li><p>Most posters will likely say that unless you’re paying for it somehow yourself, including housing, you’ll be constrained to your parents wishes in the end - after you’ve gained whatever you can by reasoning with them.</p></li>
<li><p>Many posters will likely say that in the end, whether you do the cc->transfer or are there the whole time, you’ll have good and not likely different opportunities post graduation.</p></li>
<li><p>Most posters will say that it’s you who knows your parents and their motives in this regard the best so you’ll need to end up doing what you can to zero in on those and change their minds.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>Probably most posters here, including me, hope that you can head off to FSU if that’s what you want to do. Good luck - I hope you convince them.</p>
<p>Unfortunately this type of post comes up all the time on CC. Maybe CC can sticky some thread with responses to this situation many students face (or maybe there already is one).</p>
<p>Again and again I recommend that students in conflict go for a walk with one or both parents (side by side lessens the dominance aspects of any one person). </p>
<p>Talk about your fears and ask about theirs. Really listen to what their fears are (don’t jump in with BUT, BUT – just take in the information). </p>
<p>They may be afraid they can’t afford the high cost of you being away at college. Chances are the away cost is an additional $10K or more for each year. </p>
<p>They may be afraid that you are not mature enough to handle being away (self check: what is the condition of your bedroom? Have you cooked meals for the family in the last week? Are you current on your household tasks or do you have to be reminded? Are the parents involved in getting you up in the morning or having to shut you down at night? – these may seem like minor details to you but they are huge red flags to parents that the student has some maturity issues). </p>
<p>They may be afraid for your security. This fear can be anything from fear of alcohol to fear of rape. </p>
<p>After going for the walk and hearing about their concerns, you’ll be in a much better place to customize a path forward. (For instance, fear of alcohol could be addressed by agreeing to choose a substance free dorm. Fear of assault could be addressed by a self defense class. Fear of costs might get addressed through active scholarship hunting and so forth). </p>
<p>At the very least, hearing their concerns and not sputtering an incoherent wail of “but I WANT yadda yadda” will put you on a mature footing as you navigate the weeks ahead. </p>
<p>Keep in mind that half of your frustration comes from your ego taking a beating at school. You don’t want to be the CC kid when your peers are headed off to 4 year colleges. You have another ten to twelve weeks with that peer group. As soon as graduation hits it is unlikely that you will see more than a dozen of them over the summer. Once September arrives, you will be keeping in touch with even fewer (ie, only your really close friends – who love you no matter where you are). </p>
<p>Don’t let the Ego of March to May make you beat up a pair of parents who love you and who are willing to further your education. </p>
<p>True story: we had a young friend who had a tough choice to make: he could go to the CC or he could have the family sell their beloved family cabin (the only asset the family had beyond the regular roof over their heads). His mother was willing to sell but was also heartbroken about the idea. The student decided that family life was more important than an immediate four year college opportunity. He’s in his second year at a CC and will transfer next fall. Was he sneered at for going to the CC? No. Everyone was impressed by his maturity and compassion for his mother’s heart.</p>