In case your bored, you can read my essay.

<p>In case anyone is bored.</p>

<p>Prompt:
Can what we value be determined only by what we sacrifice? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>(beginning)</p>

<p>What we value today are solely determined on the sacrifices we or others make for them. Though there are instances when it is not as apparent that we make these sacrifices, ultimately in order to have what we value, there are both obvious and not-so-obvious sacrifices. Such occurences of these happenings are well depicted throughout historical imperialism, economics, and even my own personal life. </p>

<p>In order to win a war, sacrifices, no matter how devastating or unethical, must be made, because the effects of sacrifice will prove to be worth it. When the United States decided to invade Southeast Asia in part of its efforts to bolster the notions of imperialism, the public was only cognizant of the "victories" and progress that the United States army had been making. How were they achieving this exactly? In order to compel native Asians of such places as Guam, mass murderings of villages were implicated. These were necessary too; otherwise, these rebels would continue to rebel and order, democracy, and liberty would never have been established for those who were seeking that freedom. When sacrifices are made in a war, it's much like a banking investment. Initially, the cost can be very brutal, however the ending outcome is well worth the sacrifices for it. The United States army killed innocent natives as a sacrifice for victory and liberty. </p>

<p>If a businessman does not make sacrifices, chances are that he can very well fail. When business in America were small, modest, and essentially humble, so were the owners of those companies. Unfortunately, as our nation becomes more corporate, we lose that sense of original, wholesome attitude. Instead, many are prone to deceive, cheat, and even bootlick to get to the top of the "food chain". An associate in an office has ultimately two choices: be honest and never expect to be promoted or be slyly deceptive but work in a way that will more or less ensure promotion. Why would a businessman need to cheat or deceive? If he does not, he may not have clients and gross very little profits. Even in the business world, people must make sacrifices in order to obtain valuables, money. </p>

<p>My own personal experiences indicate that without sacrifice, I cannot have what I have today. In order to study well in school and prepare myself for my future, I must make sacrifices. I spend a considerable amount of time in and out of school to acknowledge and learn as much as I can. A major sacrifice I had to make was to limit my recreation time in order to reserve time to study. Each day, I cannot overindulge by watching TV or reading comic books, instead I need to spend my time wisely. When one wants to succeed in the academic world, he or she must understand that free-time sacrifice is absolutely necessary. </p>

<p>Whether it is relevant to war, the economy, or education, one must make sacrifices, even those that may question its morals. People must make sacrifices to have what they value.</p>

<p>(end)</p>

<p>Any opinions? I've posted an essay before and asked for opinions/grades, but I noticed that many of the grades people suggested were not necessarily parallel with the rubric that TCB grades these essays. To be honest, TCB cannot expect examples to be outstanding, but they expect them to have substance and relevance. They don't care if the examples are interesting or not; if it's relevant and is depicted kind of well, then hell.. it is good enough for them!</p>

<p>Unfortunately, people on these boards tend to forget that it is timed (25 minutes), and though it may not be absolutely acceptable in an English class, this is the SAT! Just things to consider. Any opinion on my essay or my comment would be greatly appreciated! (Sorry if I sounded like I was accusing you of something you have not done, but I'm looking for productive, constructive criticism. Often no one is can elaborate behind the reasoning of a particular grade. Thanks!)</p>

<p>one thing i dont understand and am very skeptic abt how u portrayed.........</p>

<p>If United States army killed innocent villagers the sacrifice was made by the VILLAGERS AND NOT THE ARMy...... so how did they get the value..... they never sacrificed...... u have to modify the language to show that they sacrificed their morals, principles and character to achieve what was valuable.........</p>

<p>its worth a 6
trust me i didnt even finish my essay and i got a 5</p>

<p>the highest i ever got was a 5...:(</p>

<p>but overall the essay is cool....... 11/12</p>

<p>Are there any points of the essay where I can improve? The online grader gave me a 12, but then again, it's only an emulator and not an actual grader. I know my first example was a little ambiguous on who was doing the sacrificing, but I was trying to get the point across that sacrifices of innocent civilians were made. I just viewed the killing of those natives (who were innocent) to be a sacrifice that the US had to make in order to achieve peace and order. Smartmind, your comment is definitely valid and now that I think of it, I can see how that is confusing.</p>

<p>Anyway, I didn't like my third supporting argument. Did anyone notice its lack of supportiveness? I didn't even like my second example. I figure the graders are not so picky when it comes to how interesting the examples are, etc. I think they may be looking at the essay's structure as a whole? Any opinions? Let's make this insightful for everyone!!</p>

<p>Thanks for the comments by the way</p>

<p>This probably isn't news to you all, but I copied and pasted a random article into the essay scorer, and it gave it a 12. I'm guessing it grades mostly on length? Any comments?!?</p>

<p>Anyone notice that too?</p>

<p>what essay scorer?</p>

<p>The essay scorer on TCB Online Course, sorry for not clarifying.</p>