<p>I suffer from depression. I try to go about my daily routines and join activities but generally I'm dissatisfied with everything. Things have just been getting progressively worse mentally speaking. I am seeing a therapist once a week and I don't think that has been helping at all. That's been going on for like 9 months now. I don't know what to do. I've been thinking about suicide and even when my therapist tells me the reasons I shouldn't I can't help but feel that all those reasons just involve OTHER people. I feel like I'm never doing anything for myself or nothing that I enjoy even though I try to stay active during the week, with classes, work, gym, and any other activities going on campus. I don't know what to do. Even when I seek out new things to do I'm just not interested. I look at my life and there really shouldn't be anything to complain about but I'm not satisfied with any of it and don't see myself being satisfied in the future. I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.</p>
<p>Hang tough bro</p>
<p>I, myself, have been there before.........your life is worth more than you imagine.</p>
<p>It's your duty to find out, and no, suicide is not the answer.</p>
<p>Don't do it dude. I went through it, and I'll admit it takes a LOT of time to get over. There is no immediate solution, which can be immensely discouraging. No therapist or drug can magically solve it.</p>
<p>"I feel like I'm never doing anything for myself." </p>
<p>If you feel that way, go do something you've always wanted to do, even if that means putting off college for a while. You can go back to college, but you can't get your life back after suicide. There's no point staying there if you don't want to be there. </p>
<p>We're you a family oriented person before college?</p>
<p>"I enjoy even though I try to stay active during the week, with classes, work, gym, and any other activities going on campus"</p>
<p>Your probably very bright living an especially menial life. I suffer from the same type of depression. I've learned that the only way to alliviate it is to live a progressive lifestyle. Never allow yourself to fit a pattern or a stereotype, you will recognize it and think yourself worthless. Concede to let your subconscious decide what to do, and let your conscious handle the consequences. Its a much more exciting lifestyle and too busy (thoughtful) to burden yourself with downward spiral type thought chains.</p>
<p>And yes, that means essentially to pursue all fleeting interests.</p>
<p>Can you ask your doctor to prescribe you some drug, like xanax?</p>
<p>Don't catch the bus yet man, what is making you feel this way in the first place? which schoold do you go to and how are your drugs?</p>
<p>I would say you should find a different doctor. Don't fight the concept of anti-depressants (but be prepared to stop drinking so that they can work effectively). Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. You may have times that are worse than others, but it is a normal symptom of depression to feel bad, and not have any external "reason" for it, which is where anti-depressants can really help. If you've been w/ the same therapist for 9 months, and are having suicidal thoughts, you need to find someone who can help you better. Good luck.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Don't do it dude. I went through it, and I'll admit it takes a LOT of time to get over. There is no immediate solution, which can be immensely discouraging. No therapist or drug can magically solve it.</p>
<p>"I feel like I'm never doing anything for myself."</p>
<p>If you feel that way, go do something you've always wanted to do, even if that means putting off college for a while. You can go back to college, but you can't get your life back after suicide. There's no point staying there if you don't want to be there.</p>
<p>We're you a family oriented person before college?
[/quote]
That's the problem. There's nothing I feel I have interest in anymore. There's nothing I want to really do. I just do things without reason purely on what I've been told all these years I've had to do. I couldn't even justify leaving my school because I'm getting a decent financial aid package at a private school and not many students can say that.</p>
<p>As far as my family goes, they're a big mess. I don't hate them, that's too strong a word, but I don't care enough to join them when they are having a get together and those sort of things. I mean I don't know what to really say in regards to my family. They aren't functional; it's just a bunch of individuals living under the same roof. To me it's like they are just there and that's it. I feel very different from them because many of them didn't finish high school or college. I'm basically the first one in my family to go to college with the possibility of actually graduating. Ever since I started doing good in middle school I've been pegged as some kind of special kid because of my grades and awards and quite frankly I hate it. I can't even relate to anyone in my family and it feels like my only worth as a human is solely based on academics. I'm not sure if that answers your question.</p>
<p>Do you know where you're going to school?</p>
<p>
[quote]
"I enjoy even though I try to stay active during the week, with classes, work, gym, and any other activities going on campus"</p>
<p>Your probably very bright living an especially menial life. I suffer from the same type of depression. I've learned that the only way to alliviate it is to live a progressive lifestyle. Never allow yourself to fit a pattern or a stereotype, you will recognize it and think yourself worthless. Concede to let your subconscious decide what to do, and let your conscious handle the consequences. Its a much more exciting lifestyle and too busy (thoughtful) to burden yourself with downward spiral type thought chains.</p>
<p>And yes, that means essentially to pursue all fleeting interests.
[/quote]
What do you mean I'm bright living an especially menial life? </p>
<p>I don't know what kind of lifestyle it is you are talking about. Everyone says get involved and that's what I try to do but none of it feels satisfying. I've been getting cognitive behavior therapy but that just hasn't worked.</p>
<p>If you aren't already on anti-depressants, after 9 months, I think it's valid to say that the cognitive behavior therapy isn't working, and you need something more. Now.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Can you ask your doctor to prescribe you some drug, like xanax?</p>
<p>Don't catch the bus yet man, what is making you feel this way in the first place? which schoold do you go to and how are your drugs?
[/quote]
I tried taking drugs early in the therapy. I tried like 2-3 different drugs. The high only lasted for 2-3 weeks before I started crashing again. I stopped taking drugs because as I've found out I've had that same high without the drugs so far as I'm concerned the drugs didn't do anything to make me more 'positive' or happy. i rather not say the school i go to but i'm in new york city. i'm no longer on drugs.</p>
<p>as to what is making me feel this way? i have no idea. i just know it gets worse with the nice weather outside because i see everyone outside in groups enjoying themselves, playing frisbee, laying around, and looking forward to do all these events on campus, etc. if anything i feel more alone here than anything else. i've tried going to parties and nothing happened because i didn't know anyone there. drinking hasn't really done much for me, and it just makes me more depressed in fact. i tried going to clubs but none of it gave me a satisfying feeling. perhaps the worse part about all this is that i really don't know why i feel like this. with all the good things people point out to me about me i shouldn't be feeling like this but i do.</p>
<p>I had chronic depression for decades despite several bouts of therapy. I finally decided to try medication, and my life is completely different. I have been on the medication for 2 years now, and while I've had some challenges in my life since then (as is true for everyone), one challenge that I haven't had to deal with was chronic depression.</p>
<p>My therapist was excellent. I continued with her for several more months after starting meds, but after a while realized that I was able to cope with my life and challenges and didn't need her help any more.</p>
<p>I strongly suggest that you get a thorough physical to rule out a physical cause for your depression. If there's no physical cause, see a psychiatrist (Do not get meds from your family doctor. They don't know what they are doing! Even if you have to wait a while or pay out of pocket, see a psychiatrist).</p>
<p>It does take a few weeks for the medication to kick in, and some people have to try different types of meds, but it is worth it to pursue this option.</p>
<p>Medication did not make me feel high. It just made me avoid severe depression. I no longer felt blah all of the time. I have highs and lows, but not the horrible lows that I used to have that came out of the blue.</p>
<p>Life really is worth living. I can not believe how beautiful the world is now. Please, please give yourself a chance by following my advice. You are worth it.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I would say you should find a different doctor. Don't fight the concept of anti-depressants (but be prepared to stop drinking so that they can work effectively). Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. You may have times that are worse than others, but it is a normal symptom of depression to feel bad, and not have any external "reason" for it, which is where anti-depressants can really help. If you've been w/ the same therapist for 9 months, and are having suicidal thoughts, you need to find someone who can help you better. Good luck.
[/quote]
I tried a couple of drugs and none of them helped and after the side effects I experienced with these drugs, I don't want to try them again. And if I were to drop this therapist I'm not sure I'd continue seeking any kind of therapy.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Do you know where you're going to school?
[/quote]
First year in a school in NYC.</p>
<p>
[quote]
If you aren't already on anti-depressants, after 9 months, I think it's valid to say that the cognitive behavior therapy isn't working, and you need something more. Now.
[/quote]
Well like I stated earlier I tried 2-3 drugs early on and that didn't work. If the CBT isn't work, what else is there to try?</p>
<p>
[quote]
I had chronic depression for decades despite several bouts of therapy. I finally decided to try medication, and my life is completely different. I have been on the medication for 2 years now, and while I've had some challenges in my life since then (as is true for everyone), one challenge that I haven't had to deal with was chronic depression.</p>
<p>My therapist was excellent. I continued with her for several more months after starting meds, but after a while realized that I was able to cope with my life and challenges and didn't need her help any more.</p>
<p>I strongly suggest that you get a thorough physical to rule out a physical cause for your depression. If there's no physical cause, see a psychiatrist (Do not get meds from your family doctor. They don't know what they are doing! Even if you have to wait a while or pay out of pocket, see a psychiatrist).</p>
<p>It does take a few weeks for the medication to kick in, and some people have to try different types of meds, but it is worth it to pursue this option.</p>
<p>Medication did not make me feel high. It just made me avoid severe depression. I no longer felt blah all of the time. I have highs and lows, but not the horrible lows that I used to have that came out of the blue.</p>
<p>Life really is worth living. I can not believe how beautiful the world is now. Please, please give yourself a chance by following my advice. You are worth it.
[/quote]
I've been to the doctor for so many different things over the last 4 yrs. I've had tendonitis in all different areas of my body but that stopped as soon as I stopped playing the one game I enjoyed. I had tests done to see if something else may have been causing it and the tests came out negative as well. I didn't have my family doctor prescribe medicine to me. It was my psychiatrist who did. My family's insurance covers all that so it's not a money issue. I already knew the medication was going to take a while to kick in. When it finally did it was great. Then it somehow wore off or something. I was still taking it but I just felt so down out of nowhere as if I weren't even taking the medication at all. The worse thing was the side effects though. All those medications carry side effects. And the worse thing is that in some cases you may have to depend on those medications. As much as I believe in medication that's not something I want. Why must I have to take medication to be 'normal'?</p>
<p>My view on this world will of course be negative so I won't bother sharing that.</p>