help with my "depression"

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>I don't know what is going exactly. I signed up for counseling in my university and its free, but that does not seem to help much. The therapists mainly listens to my problems but does not give any answer, he mainly reflects what I say. I think this kind of therapy was doing more harm than good.</p>

<p>Anyway, I am recent immigrant who just got adopted in the US about 5 years ago. First year, I made some great friends with my nationality but next year I had to move another school in another state. No decent of my country, tried to make friendships mainly with americans but did not click and it was my last senior year when I moved in so it was hard. First year freshman in college I commuted before I lived in dorms next year. I go to a college in a big city. My second year was fun, I made "friends". I had 3 roomates and I liked 1 a lot. I had 2 floormates that I really liked and I thought I clicked with them. Next year bam! They (including everbody else) stopped talking to me, even my roomate and friends I considered the best. some were talking but not willing to hang out. I felt like a coyote chasing road runner who ran off the cliff and did not fall until he looked down. Thats exactly I how I felt about my situation. Next year I came to live in another dorms but I did not feel the same way making friends as in previous year. And the dorms I live now has worse community (less outgoing and more pressure on using weed to get socialized, that wasn't previous year) and is quite isolated (townhomes instead hallways). </p>

<p>I also seem to have problems in other social settings. I seem to have always some problems in any job interview. Except last time when I got internship for a while, I could not get any more professional job except that very labor (like merchandising). So as I have trouble making friends, I have trouble networking for a job. My parents are quite antisocial. I also have some barriers with my English because I speak it as Second Language, although it seems to improve a little but hardly when not having a social life and I think my English was also standing in a way of making good impresion when making friends or getting a job. </p>

<p>I also have had trouble sleeping and getting rest at night. My progress at school seems to go well and decent but I think I could have done academically much better. </p>

<p>It seems like school counseling haven't helped me much. What are alternatives?</p>

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<p>hm… Why not to some stress releiving activities. Drawing is relaxing. Its been proven that fish help reduce stress, so why not get a small tank and put a betta in it? That would give you something else to focuse on. Or you could get a small potted plant and take care of it. Perhaps you should try cooping(sp) thoughts? You know, things like telling yourself it could be worse or maybe it will all get better(these are just examples.). Lisening to soothing music might help. Do you have anyone (other then the counselor) to confide in? Like a friend or a relitive? Perhaps telling them your fears and other problems, might make you feel better.</p>

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<p>See if the counseling people at your school can give you a referral to see a non-school person or if they can give you a list of people in the surrounding area.</p>

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<p>“Its been proven that fish help reduce stress”</p>

<p>seriously? that’s amazing. maybe that explains why i feel so much calmer after i feed my fish every day. </p>

<p>coyote77, another stress relieving activity that you could try is meditation. it’s hard to get into the habit of clearing your mind at first, but once you’re used to it it could really help. also, i’ve found journaling to be a life-saver at times when i’ve felt really down.</p>

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<p>Hmm I have no friends to talk to. One friend whom I liked a lot and spent most weekends with him and his roomate ditched me, he seems to be immature to understand me, he is only concerned about himself and perceived many things like it was all just about him and wants me to leave him alone (so I had to stop contacting him). He never appreciated when I was trying to reach him out, once he even did not thank me after giving him surprise on his birthday until later I asked him if he got it when I saw him. I was asking him after that to just to hang out for fun and he was only giving excuses. </p>

<p>My roomates always went on weekends to parties without inviting me. One of them did not talk to me and did not get along, the other one was nice and liked to talk, but after summer, he broke contact with me. All floormates don’t respond to my causal hi even on facebook. </p>

<p>Anytime I try to make a new contact, I feel I am loosing it, I don’t get the other side interested.</p>