<p>I am generally a happy person and more level minded and calm than most people. I'm very hardworking and determined.</p>
<p>But as a freshman in college (this is the second semester), I vividly remember thinking about suicide as an option when I walked to my classes in my first semester around late October. I just got so tired of everything and frustrated that my life is all extreme school stress and that I would never find a significant other, that I will just keep growing old, lonely, and miserable with no point. Just work work work.
I honestly thought about it (though in the back of my mind I think I never would), like I thought about some tall buildings nearby or sleeping pills would be the way. Kind of like offhand thinking, but I was miserable and needed to think some gruesome thoughts. </p>
<p>Someone in my university did commit suicide in winter by jumping off the bridge and they crashed through the glass roof of a storage house or something.</p>
<p>I think I built up a thicker skin since then and obviously got used to the college life, though today I had the thought float by my mind again since I'm under extreme stress now and have been getting 2 hours or less of sleep everyday. Maybe I am just pondering the meaning of my life also.</p>
<p>Has anyone else had suicidal thoughts or behaviors since coming to college? Is that normal?</p>
<p>I know you are looking for student feedback, but as a parent, I call give you a longer tme perspective. There are times throughout a person’s life where the feeling of stress, sadness, etc. come up and are overwhelming. For you it might be now, for someone else in high school or after a marriage break-up, miscarriage, etc. There are also the great times, like discovering other parts of the world through study abroad, your first child being born, etc. If you are feeling depressed and even a bit suicidal, please talk to someone at the counseling center right away. Go in today. It might be cured simply - by taking vitamin D, for example or withdrawing from one class. Or it may be more complicated, but it’s always worth it.</p>
<p>I want to preface this that feeling depressed or suicidal does not negate anything you said at the beginning. It doesn’t mean you’re not levelheaded and calm and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re not hardworking and determined. No one should suggest otherwise. </p>
<p>I’m seconding the post above that you should get to your counseling enter as soon as possible. Taking care of your mental health is absolutely vital. They have professionals who can help you. If you’re comfortable, it’s not a bad idea to reach out to your family and the people close to you, too. </p>
<p>And to answer your question – Yes, I’ve been there, and I’m SO glad that I’m still here. Please reach out for help.</p>
<p>What they said. I’ve been there too. It ain’t worth it buddy. You’re seeking relief right? Trying to get away from all the **** life piles on you? Yeah it sucks. I know. But someone made a good point to me when I was in that dark place: you can’t feel relief if you’re dead.</p>
<p>I think depression is very common among college students, more so than we can imagine because it does have such a stigma. I was extremely chronically depressed in high school, had a few suicidal thoughts and came up with a plan to kill myself, but I never put it into action and I guess I never lost hope. Now I’m in college and I’m happier than I ever dreamed possible. I think anyone who does feel that they may be depressed, and ESPECIALLY anyone who has considered suicide, needs to get counseling and help - right now. There are so many services available to college students, usually for free, and rarely in our lives are we in an environment in which so much free help is available. I think it’s a somewhat common thing but anyone who feels that ending their life is a good idea needs to at least talk to someone they trust about it. As someone who used to live a great deal of their life in that headspace, I can promise you that hope is always possible.</p>
<p>For me, suicide has never crossed my mind seriously, but I’ve had times when I wanted to simply drop everything and just roll into a fetal position haha. I’ve said to myself, “I wish I were dead (so I don’t have to be here),” but it didn’t go beyond that. I think it’s normal to feel pressured and constantly on the edge during college – I know because I still do feel pressured in college. What you have to do is find a method of relaxation that works for you. During my first semester, I remember stressing out a lot and I would have constant breakdowns with all the pressure of trying to be perfect or whatever it was.</p>
<p>Try taking a walk, watching a little bit of TV, going out with friends, going to the gym, cooking, etc. It’s important that you are not constantly repeating your current routine because that will eventually add up and things will get ugly. You really have to ask yourself: Is this really how I want my college experience to be like? It is most certainly possible to have fun and stay productive in college; it’s all about time-management. If you find yourself working all day, try and make a schedule that puts breaks in between those study/work sessions. I remember last semester when I had to write four stories for the paper, had five exams, two essays, and work in one week as finals approached – it got pretty bad!!!</p>
<p>You should try and plan out your daily routines so everything is spread out evenly, including your classes. Don’t take too many “difficult” classes in one whole semester, but strategically spread it out through your course of studies so you don’t find yourself in that position of trying to take a huge workload on. I’d also look into summer school if that is an option for you. It’s all about getting the rhythm of studying down. You’re only in your second semester in college, so it’s perfectly okay to feel this way. I’m just starting to get my s*** together so now I don’t freak out as much when I have a heavy workload certain weeks.</p>