I’ve gotten an interview invite from an alumnus for the very, very selective university I applied to early. I’m LGBT. Huge parts of my identity and reasons for applying to this university would be omitted if I hid this in my interview, and the write-up would be totally inconsistent with my application.
With that being said, my interviewer is a white man in his 60’s who lives in the south. I’m not trying to stereotype or offend anyone, I know there are many white men in their 60’s who live in the south that are not raging homophobes. With that being said, there’s enough chance he’s homophobic that I’m seriously considering not doing the interview.
Do you think I should decline the interview or do the interview as myself and hope for the best? If you or someone you know experienced a similar situation, what did you/they do? Also, if any alumni interviewers are on here, what’s the protocol given to interviewers for this sort of thing?
Why shouldn’t you be yourself? At the same time, why would it be necessary to talk about it unless it is a big part of your ECs (involvement with a LGBT club). How is it any different than interviewing when one is black, Asian, woman, with learning disability…? You show up and be proud of who you are. You will be doing job interviews with 60 year old white man some day and might as well learn how to handle it. You may be surprised at how open/accepting some of them can be.
College interviews generally do not carry that much weight, but to decline would not be a good sign.
You should take the interview, and you should show up and conduct the interview as YOU, 100%. If interviewer asks a question for which the answer will reflect relevant aspects of your identity, then your answer should include that. (“My most meaningful service commitments have been around supporting LGBT homeless youth in our community.” “I’m very interested in Selective U’s new minor in gender and sexuality studies”, etc.) If the interviewer is hesitant about recommending you based on those answers, then it is his report to Selective U that will come across as inconsistent, not you. AdComs are very used to reading between the lines of coded language in an alum interview report.
Hi, thanks for answering. Probably should have said this in my question, but I want to pursue LGBT research at the college. In an interview, I’d want to ask as much as possible about this, and I’d also probably have to preface it with my own background.
But are you, in fact, stereotyping? An older man, who lives in the south…are you assuming he can’t possibly be open minded? I’d think he might be offended by the concern. I think you need to examine this, ponder a bit. “Enough chance he’s homophobic…?”
I don’t know how I’d like to phrase this, myself, so will borrow the words of some other seasoned posters: to the colleges, expecially the more competitive, more interested in intellectual vitality, drives, accomplishments-- and perspective, maturity, good will-- they’ve seen many LGBT applicants and one’s personal identity is not a deciding factor. Be who you are. Ace the interview based on your knowledge of the college, your qualities they look for, what you gain and what you offer.
Presumably, you chose a college where you can feel comfortable, where you self-matched. You vetted the school’s environment. Why would you cancel an interview based on this?
OP mentions: “but I want to pursue LGBT research at the college. In an interview, I’d want to ask as much as possible about this.” Unfortunately, as is true for many many aspects of the current curriculum and other offerings of a school, an alum from the 1970s may not have the most helpful or up-to-date info. I wouldn’t rely on the alum interview as a chance to get a lot of hard data about the school. It’s more a chance to sell yourself as a motivated & committed candidate who has a lot to contribute to the community.
And I both hear what @lookingforward is saying about not leaping to conclusions, and also acknowledge your (OP) caution and reluctance to put yourself in a situation where you might not feel respected.
I xposted with the research comment. But this morning, OP noted, “an aspiring songwriter in entering the music industry? The main schools I’m looking at right now are Stanford, UCLA, and Columbia.” How’s the LGBTresearch fit in? And (does he or she) or (do they) not feel graduates of those 3 schools, as an example, run a high chance of being aware of multiple sorts of identities in the world?
Agree, a competitive college interview is not the place to ask questions one could have researched before deciding where to apply. Nor to ask this person, who’s not at the school now, to comment on what others do. But also, it is a time to put your own best foot forward. Be aware of that.
@lookingforward songwriting is one path I’m looking at, and LGBT research is another. ideally, I’d find a place where I could explore both (I do mention in the post you’re referring to that I want to be able to also do science).
You’re making sweeping judgemental generalizations about a man you’ve never met, yet you are concerned about being judged? Irony alert.
Go, be yourself, don’t judge, don’t preach, don’t act superior.
I doubt a 60 year old alum from any college could answer that with any specificity. Asking about specific majors or research options in an alumni interview is missing the point. Now you can share what you are interested in — but look elsewhere to gather info on this topic. Contact profs or current students in the majors you are interested in instead.
I totally hear where you are coming from. As a black male I have those thoughts all the time. Don’t apologize – it’s very hard to know where people are coming from…
I think I would have the same concern if I were you.
But at the same time—as others have mentioned—what you’ve given as reasons for likely needing to mention your LGBT identity doesn’t strike me as too compelling. I think if it tied more to explaining your high school career, then that’s fine to bring up. Otherwise, making a point to ask a specific question he’ll clearly have no idea about seems a little heavy handed.
That being said, (depending on what school you’re applying to—I can only speak for Harvard), if you legitimately feel like you’ve been discriminated against, you can request an additional interview.
There have been situations when interviewers have profiled or been discriminatory. However, colleges are extremely quick to apologize and “correct” the situation. I’d take the risk.
I think in any interview you should avoid asking questions about a major or research in a field that the interviewer might know nothing/very little about. Those questions should be directed to department heads or professors in those areas. Ask admissions for a contact person. Reach out to LGBT groups or offices of diversity to ask candid questions about how you might fit in.
BTW, this area would be of little interest to me (same for accounting, sports medicine, biochemistry) but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t evaluate you fairly as to whether you would add something to a school and it doesn’t mean I have a bias against the LGBT community. So be careful not to judge the interviewer based solely on his knowledge of this field.
“Also, if any alumni interviewers are on here, what’s the protocol given to interviewers for this sort of thing?”
As a former interviewer, I can tell you that I prepare a list of questions to ask the interviewee, and the list doesn’t include things that are personal or sensitive in nature, e.g., death, divorce, political leaning, sexual orientation or sexuality itself, your parents’ gross annual income, etc.
Being an Asian for me is a huge part of my ID, but I don’t think it’s appropriate, if I’m being interviewed, to make the entire interview the focus of my being an Asian unless I’m interested in pursuing a degree in Asian Studies. In that similar vein, I think it’d be appropriate if you could discuss LGBT from an intellectual angle or as an academic interest as opposed to personal. These college interviews are similar to job interviews, and IN GENERAL it’s wise to take a safer route by avoiding anything that’s personal in nature. This doesn’t mean you’re betraying your ID.
I’ve yet to read interview notes that fault a kid for personal identity. It only comes up if it’s relevant to college admissions (eg, activities or interest in the college or programs, as TiggerDad notes.)
An interview for admissions to a “very, very selective U” is just not the place to pronounce or go in with the mindset that focusing on other aspects of your match would be “hiding” anything. Or that your personal identity is the paramount point. It isn’t, to them. It almost sounds like testing him and it’s not what they want in a good candidate. I believe we are all more than our personal identities. The colleges look for activation, energies, intellectual curiosity, openness to other ideas, the good one does, stretch, and more. They really aren’t there to box people into labels.
Sure, I get the concerns. But if you want this college, if you already vetted it for match, continue showing that match. That’s not hiding anything. It’s savvy balance.
When I interview people I’m not interested in their sexuality. When I am being interviewed professionally, I don’t share things about my personal life. Food for thought.
In fact, I’m never interested in what anyone else does behind closed doors.
I recall a few years ago doing an alumni meeting with a girl who had been a key note speaker at an LGBTQ rally, did many activism related ECs, mentored a support group for teens, etc… This was her passion, tied into her intended major, and how she planned to make an impact on campus. It was a fabulous meeting. I honestly think that most interviewers who are still doing this into their 60s genuinely love kids, love their alma maters, and want to see kids who will get engage and make a positive difference. My advice is to be yourself.