This is my third week of college and I hate it. I want to go home. I want to see my family and sleep in my bed and give everyone a huge hug because I miss them all so much. I’m so homesick that sometimes I feel physically sick. Before college the longest I’ve been away from home was 2 weeks, and now I’m just supposed be okay with the fact that I’ll never live at home again in the same way?? It seems unfair. I cry pretty much everyday because I’m so sad. Is college really too much to be thrown into when you’re only 17 or 18? Or am I just being a baby because everyone else I know seems to be fine?
You’re definitely not the only person feeling this way; just look at the other posts here on the college life forum. It can be really hard to adjust to being away from family you love and the home you grew up in. I know for me, it was really hard to accept that life as I knew it - coming home after school, dinner with my family, etc - was basically over. All I can say is in time, you’ll adjust. I was incredibly homesick for probably the first month of college, but sooner or later, college started to feel like home. It helps if you can find a solid group of friends to keep you busy. Are you looking into clubs or other social opportunities?
You were lucky enough to grow up in a loving home. Not every 17 or 18 year old has had that. You are grieving the loss or end of childhood and life as you knew it, and now you are embarking on what will be your own adult life. It is painful right now. It is normal to feel this way, growth hurts sometimes. However, your parents offer a college education and sent you there because they love you. They are probably grieving too, but they too know it is an important thing to do for your life. Even though others look like they are not homesick, many are. Accept that this is how you feel and that it hurts. Cry if you need to. Then start to make a shift to the wonderful things ahead of you. Last year when you were excited to be applying to college and thinking about all of it, that’s what you did, focused on the future. Do as well as you can in your courses, try to get involved in your school, and pull on those dreams, whether they be a certain job, marriage, travel, or whatever things you want for yourself ahead. You can do this, it is hard, but you can.
It’s all relative. In other cultures, girls marry at 15, plow a field all day, nurse a baby, and manage a household.
Did someone force you to go to a sleep-away college? Or was that your decision?
The transition is hard. You’re crying because you know your childhood has ended, and nothing will bring it back. Already your friends have a different life, too. You can’t turn back the clock and you know it. But it’s not all gone. Going back home will only highlight how much the present is no longer the past.
What you need to do is think of ways your “old life” felt comfortable: a certain food, a certain blanket, a special TV program you used to watch? Friendships in a club or a team? Try to reproduce that at your college. Create a “floor event” in your dorm around the special TV program (talk to your RA to see if it can be part of programming; say you’ll order pizza and people will come :p). Ask your mother to send you the special blanket, or poster, or object. Submit your mother’s recipe to the colleg kitchens to see if if could become a dish they serve, or organize a homecooking party where everyone brings their favorite recipe (again, this could be part of RA programming). Look for clubs and teams where you do things together, especially volunteering and charities.
@PrimeMeridian , have a lithe empathy. @muddychickadee , you are not the only one. I think my daughter feels exactly the same. This is a big transition for you, but I guarantee it will get easier. You just have to give it time. Stay busy with groups, a job, or volunteering. Take it a day at a time. Each day will get a little easier. Hang in there.
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