Hi guys just wanted to say that reading all your posts really helped me.Im someone who has always had a close knit group of friends in school as well as being very close to my family.My college is a 3 hour flight away from home and luckily my parents came with my to help me settle in for a week.Its been only a week since they left and I’m feeling so homesick and upset and missing them so much.I know it’s normal to be feeling like this.Everyone says OMG college is so much fun but when does that fun actually start? I have my own room and my hall is away from the other halls of residence and everyone staying in my hall seem to be staying locked up in their rooms.I did say hi to the few people I saw in the corridors and some at my lectures but I still feel like I don’t belong here and I’m wishing I was back at home with my friends and family.Please advise me on anything that might help
I think you need to find excitement and purpose in why you are at college in the first place.
Why do you have your own room?
After reading post after post after post like this, I am beginning to wonder where the idea that college is supposed to be “so much fun.” College is a time when one is in training so to speak, a transition from adolescence to adulthood in a semi-structured environment focused on learning and hopefully ending up with the foundation for a career if not a profession in some cases. It is freaking hard work to do well in college. The fun part is a side piece, and can be fantastic when it happens smoothly (though often it doesn’t)–and while important, it is not the main reason why you are in college. Work hard on your studies so that they go well and the rest will follow.
It is very hard to leave home for the first time and be basically on your own and responsible for most of your decisions. It is scary. It is also very exciting, and if you can reframe your thinking and focus on the new and exciting parts of being in this kind of educational environment rather than the pain that comes along with growth, you will end up being much happier. You also need to be patient because you have to find what is “fun” in your new environment, meet new people, get involved in the ways that you are going to get involved, etc. This takes time. It took time when you were in middle and high school and it is going to take time now.
You are going to miss your family. Expect it rather than be surprised by it so that you can cope with it, then dig in to college. Get out of your dorm room, enjoy the outdoors, smile and be friendly to others, study in the student union, library, dorm common room, explore clubs and other activities. It takes more than a week or a month to adjust to this big change in your life.
Well said Northern Mom.