<p>Haystack, I’m very sure DD2 would have done well academically at a flagship U (she’s always been self directed in that) but I’m not sure what would have happened from a relationship building perspective. I like to think she would have found her (geek) group but I can’t say for sure.</p>
<p>Our oldest daughter was very, very shy with some anxiety issues. She was not ready to leave after high school and decided to attend our CC, even though her grades/test scores were very high. When she transferred, we looked for a small school that was too far to drive home every weekend (7 hour drive), but close enough for her to come home occasionally. It worked out perfectly- classes were small enough that she got to know instructors, she met a lot of new people, and she became way more confident and outgoing-an amazing change!</p>
<p>Next daughter is out-going, friendly, and couldn’t wait to get away. Sent across country with the warning that she could not come home til Christmas- we just couldn’t swing it financially. She was fine at first, but then got a very bad strain of flu (on the brink of being hospitalized) and just really went downhill from there- very homesick and not happy. It turned out the program was not at all what she wanted, and she decided to leave and transfer to another program. Surprisingly, she chose another program across country, and this time is loving it! I think she is a little older now and more independent, but also that the program made a difference. </p>
<p>Our 2 boys could move to another country and not see us for a long stretch and be perfectly happy! I think it just depends on the personality, but with someone who is more of a home-body, I would go with the school that is just far enough not to drive home every weekend, but close enough for an occasional visit- definitely not one across country!</p>
<p>Distance is more of a minor factor. Several hours drive verses a six hour plane ride is not much different except in cost.</p>
<p>Like previous posters have said, having a introverted student in college near home will not help her out of her shell. She’ll just keep coming home. However, being miserable far from home is not good either. </p>
<p>Size of school can also make a difference. My daughter passed on a nearby UC (20,000 students) where she was accepted for a small school (3600 students) in New England. Totally different atmospheres. Her chosen school just has such a friendly attitude. We got that feeling even in the admissions briefing and tour.</p>
<p>Best thing that can happen is that she will go to a school a distance away and find some very good friends in school. This is what happened to my introverted daughter. She’s a sophomore and couldn’t be happier. She made some good friends (male and female) and they do all kind of things together, they go to the minor league sports games, concerts, etc. She is studying hard but having lots of fun too. Funny thing is that when she comes home between terms and for the summer, she reverts to her introverted self and is quite shy and mainly stays at home.</p>