Is it Do you think is this worth mentioning as a reaseon in the “why transfer” essay?

Transfer Students
1

<p>This might not be a question so please don't be mad/mean at me for making you read it. I am just writing to release my loneliness. Sorry for the typo in my thread. I mean is the dancing worth mentioning as one of my reason to transfer in addition to some academic issues?</p>

<p>I used to be a “terrific” dancer. I created my own choreographies. People said that I was fantastic on scene and my dances were original. My current college does not have a dance department. I can't dance anymore. I used to pay for classes in studios last semester but I am not making enough money this semester.My parents were too poor to pay dance classes for me so I had to wait for 7 years before starting to dance and 3 years later I got a scholarship and joined a Company with its school dance. I fought so hard to attain professional level that I don't want to give up now.</p>

<p>When I make a dance, I tell a story.This morning I create two stories/
choreographies with Hijo de la luna and Figlio Perduto by Sarah Brightman but I am sad because no one will ever learn my dance. Dance was my religion, it gave me hope, confidence and made me feel that I worth something. It made me feel that I was in a new world, surrounding with spirits but now it is different. I’m planning on transferring but I ‘m not going to major in dance. However, I do want to go to a school that has a dance program so I can enjoy my passion and take classes. I also never danced for my mother, so taking dance classes will help me practice and I will be able to make a nice choreography for when I return to my country during break. Whenever I watch a video on youtube, I have regrets.</p>

<p>When I go to my country during summer, the only job I can get is to be a dance tutor and the only fun I have is at my summer dance classes. If I stop dancing, I won't have a life when I go home during summer. </p>

<p>P.S My mom never saw me dancing because I was too shy, but when I left home, I became more confident, that’s when I started to create my own dances.</p>

2

<p>Yes, the dancing could well be worth mentioning as a reason for transfer.</p>

<p>And, you have the elements of how to mention it in your essay right in the post you have made here.</p>

<p>HOWEVER, and it is an important "however," your essay must be far less dramatic than what you have written here. It is good that you could get some emotion out here, but the only emotion you want to creep into your essay is your passion for the dance.</p>

<p>Good luck with this. I would be happy to review an essay draft if you would like.</p>

3

<p>It would make an excellent essay. It shows you have true passion for something. I hope you are able to dance again soon.</p>

<p>I second Andale..I would read and review your essay as well.</p>

4

<p>Thank you Andale. I will try to be less dramatic. I felt that my posts are dramatic but please excuse me, English is not my language so it's hard for me to get to my point when it is not an academic writing. I only learned English on an Amcademi perspective( two years ago).</p>

5

<p>Yes!!!!!!!</p>

6

<p>Honestly, no.</p>

<p>Most universities look for transfer applicant's need for ACADEMIC transfer. Your dance is a great thing and should probably be worth mentioning in your PERSONAL essay. However, depending what school you're talking about, if you looking at transfer to a lower-tier school, the academic need probably isn't so applicable but definitely still stress on transferring due to academic programs.</p>