<p>OP, not sure if I missed this already, but have you ever informed your parents about the possibility of not even being admitted into these school in the first place?</p>
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<p>^^So very true, they start comparing stats from Kindergarten, some want the best of every thing, the school, the school district, the town, the college, the company who the kids work for, the money, the wife/husband… and it goes right down the line.</p>
<p>An Asian friend of mine was so obsessed with MD, they took their son all over the USA trying to get into one of those BS/MD program to no avail, costing 100’s 1000’s on traveling expenses alone, nevermind the time involved. Then, after the son graduated from college, they took him around the USA again to get into a Med school. They forced the son to apply for every possible school in the USA BS/MD or Med School. Finally, the son got into a Med School, but it is no where near the top, so the bragging stopped.</p>
<p>No wonder the price of houses in Cupertino had increased in value in this recession.</p>
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<p>Like NYU, which usually finds its way to the top of “average student loan debt” lists?</p>
<p><a href=“6”>QUOTE=NYU2013</a> Given your stats, it’s highly likely that if you applied to a few T20’s, you would get into at least one.
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<p>But it is a realistic possibility to get “shut out”. Not having any provision for a safety (for both admissions and cost) leaves this risk.</p>
<p>Yes, and most students shouldn’t be graduating from any school with that much debt. And if you’re posting that to try to point out that I’m being hypocritical, it’s not working. With scholarship and an EFC of full tuition at any school in the US, being at NYU isn’t hurting me. However, in many cases it does. And it’s cases like that where students need to be more careful of where it is they choose to attend. In many cases however though, the parents need to make the call. Because face it, at 18, many students have no idea what $50,000 worth of debt is like. They think they’ll just go to college, graduate and be able to pay it off. But, that’s not the case. $50,000 of debt is a substantial amount.</p>
<p>And yes, it is possible to get “shut out”, but it’s highly unlikely. And while yes, it may seem irrational to some people on CC. It is fact the OP’s parents money and they get to do with it as they choose. Would it be good to have schools in the 30-40 range (ranked by USNews), yes, of course. But, college is a long-term investment and has to be done carefully. It’s perfectly understandable to not to want to pay $250,000 to go to a not as highly reputable school. While I would recommend including schools in the 30-40 range, I would agree with OP’s parents and say that if OP were to get into any of the T20s (assuming he applied to many and did in fact write good applications) that OP should, most likely, attend said T20. Again because it is the parents money; it is their investment. And given the state of the economy, it’s hard to argue against their common sense.</p>
<p>The “top 20” by general USNWR rankings may not necessarily be the top 20 for the student in his/her intended major. Dartmouth, Notre Dame, Emory, and Northwestern are within the USNWR top 20, but are not generally considered better for CS than UIUC, UNC, Georgia Tech, or even Rutgers (given the parents’ reaction when UIUC was mentioned, this does not look like good news).</p>
<p>I’m not saying that they are. I’m looking at this from the point of view of a parent who hasn’t done much research. And while it’s true that the T20 may not be as good as those for CS, are you going to say that attending a T20 is in any way going to hurt the OP if he does major in CS? </p>
<p>Let’s also note the OP’s actual wording in his original post: “my parents have said if I don’t attend a top 20 school after getting into one, they’re going to spend that tuition money on a house in China” </p>
<p>If OP gets into Duke and chooses not to go because OP is a UNC fan, well… I’m kind of the parents side on this one. College is about education, not about what sports team you like. And it looks as though OP’s parents are willing to pay all of the costs for the OP. Are they really asking too much by saying they want to OP to go to a T20 IFF the OP gets in? I don’t think so.</p>
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<p>That is not what they are saying. The subject of the thread is that the OP can only apply to the parents’ top 20 schools, which means no safeties, or the possibility of going to a school that is not as good for the OP’s academic and professional goals than a non-top-20 school that the OP could have otherwise gotten into.</p>
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<p>Emory’s CS offerings are so thin that, yes, going to Emory would be disadvantageous to someone who majors in CS.</p>
<p>That’s not entirely clear. The Title of the thread says " Is it fair that my parents want me to apply only to top 20 colleges?" </p>
<p>However, OP specifically says “my parents have said if I don’t attend a top 20 school after getting into one, they’re going to spend that tuition money on a house in China”</p>
<p>OP also says that OP wanted to apply to Illinois and OP’s parents said OP must apply to Harvard, Yale, etc. Not that parents are barring OP from applying. As it stands, that simply means OP must apply there, in addition to. </p>
<p>To be specific, OP never said parents were in fact prohibiting OP from applying to anywhere not in T20. If OP’s parents did, in fact, say that, I must have missed it in my skimming. Please point it out to me if that is the case.</p>
<p>Yet, my position still stands - If OP doesn’t want to go to Duke because OP is UNC fan and OP does, in fact, get into Duke and say a non-T20 school, the parents have every right to have OP go to Duke. Why? Because it is in fact that parents money. And let’s face it, college costs an astronomical amount. Some $200,000 for 4 years at some school. Yes, with FA it’s oftentimes less than that, but it is still a large amount of money. Might it not be “fair” that OP’s parents are telling OP to go to a T20? Maybe. But that’s not for people on CC to decide. OP has OP’s family, with OP’s parents and OP’s parents have their respective opinions. To OP’s parents it may very well seem to be “Fair” for them to pay a fortune for a college education IFF OP goes to a T20. </p>
<p>Emory may not be a good school for CS, so don’t apply to Emory. Apply to a number of other T20s. And, as OP said “my parents have said if I don’t attend a top 20 school after getting into one, they’re going to spend that tuition money on a house in China”. If that’s true and OP doesn’t get accepted to a T20, I <em>HIGHLY</em> doubt they would force OP to pay for all college expenses. These are parents, not horrible monsters. I do however find that the OP’s parents do, in fact, have a right to say that if OP gets into a T20, OP should go there.</p>
<p>I agree that we need some clarification from the OP. From the various posts it looks like his parents only WANT him to apply to Top 20 schools because those are the only schools that they will pay for.</p>
<p>I’m guessing that they won’t stop him (I guess if he uses his own money???) from applying to some other schools - such as financial safeties. However, they are threatening that they won’t pay for those schools. If that’s the case, then he’d need nearly free-rides from his safeties. </p>
<p>This is what I’d do…</p>
<p>Apply to the Top 20 schools that you won’t mind attending. If you have to apply to some Top 20 that you don’t like, write lousy essays for those and/or make it clear to the interviewers that you don’t want to go there. </p>
<p>Apply to some schools that might give you merit.</p>
<p>Apply to some schools that will (for sure) give you huge merit. </p>
<p>If you get into a Top 20 that you like, then go there. If you don’t, then you’ll have those other choices. If your parents won’t help pay for the ones that give modest merit scholarships, then go to one that gives you huge merit scholarships.</p>
<p>I think that if you apply to the Top 20 schools and don’t get into any, your parents are going to “fold like cheap tents”. At that point, I don’t think they’d want you to go to a CC…nothing to brag about there.</p>
<p>Are your parents moving to China no matter what? </p>
<p>NYU2013…You’re a transfer student to NYU, right? how did you snag a merit scholarship? Aren’t those really, really hard to get as a transfer student? Did you transfer as a soph?</p>
<p>^ excellent advice, imo</p>
<p>Yes, I think clarification is needed. Because I don’t see OPs parents refusing to pay if OP does not get into any of the T20s, I only see OPs parents refusing to pay IFF OP gets into a T20 and does not attend. </p>
<p>Although, I’m not entirely sure OP should essentially “botch” his applications to T20s he does not want to attend. It’s entirely possible to negotiate scholarships etc. if one is holding acceptances from T20s to some other schools in the 30s and 40s range. Also, if OPs parents were to ever find out that OP intentionally botched his application… That might lead to <em>small</em> (note the sarcasm) problems. </p>
<p>I transferred in as a sophomore, yes. And when I transferred, because of dates and deadlines, etc. I had to be in contact with the NYU admissions office for them to try to get me my decision before I would have to send in a deposit somewhere else. I happened to be holding offers from UM, Emory, Cornell for transfer as well; so I got my acceptance rather quickly and with scholarship.</p>
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<p>I do not agree with this (altho I love just about all of your other advice, mom2). All of the top 20 colleges are really great schools. I cannot believe that OP knows enough about all of them to know that he would be miserable at any of them, especially if he is a STEM-major-type. (My Ds would hate CalTech and MIT, because they are not STEM-types).</p>
<p>OP, have you spent a significant amount of time on any of the Top 20 campuses while school is in session, to know for sure that you would be unhappy there? If not, I would try for admission at all of them if your parents are paying, and see where the chips fall.</p>
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<p>Actually, Emory is unsuitable given the OP’s intended major (computer science). The OP should at least check all of the schools (top 20 or otherwise) for suitability in the intended major.</p>
<p>MIT students actually can major in non-STEM subjects, but do have to take substantial STEM general education requirements, unlike non-STEM majors at most universities.</p>
<p>According to his posts, the OP has already been accepted to Rutgers, and he has already applied to Michigan and Pittsburgh.</p>